A BIRTHDAY

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

July 31st is a very important day because it's the day my beloved baby girl was born. I didn't know if I was having a boy or a girl. The ultrasound hadn't indicated the presence or the lack of a certain body part. 

So when I gave that last mighty push and she popped out, I was thrilled to hear, IT'S A GIRL! quickly followed by, LOOK AT HER HAIR! (Yes, she had a lot of hair and it was long.)

I'd been hoping desperately for a girl. We already had our son and he was the one X cared about. He was X's child and I was just along for their ride. I wanted a girl because she would be my child. 

And she was.

After she was cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket, the nurse handed her off to X, who looked as if he'd been handed a loaded gun and didn't know what to do with it. She was screaming enough to make her presence known. X turned her over to me and the second she was in my arms the screaming stopped and I was so in love with her. 

The love has never ended. 

She turned out to be a great kid: bright, beautiful, fun, talented in so many ways. I was very proud of her and probably bragged about her entirely too much. 

When she was sad, I wanted so badly to make it all better. 

I was never enough. I know I was a better parent than my mother was to me, but I was not enough. I made mistakes. I was mean and sarcastic at times. I yelled. There were things I should have bought for her that I didn't buy. I was definitely not enough, and for all the mistakes I made, all the wrongs I committed, I'm so sorry. I have apologized to my son, too. I was a better parent to my daughter than to my son. I never had enough patience.

She wanted her dad to care about her too, and I couldn't make that happen. I was riding on his roller coaster and it drove me to the edge.

But I loved them. Both of them. I still love them in spite of all the things that have gone wrong. 

My daughter lives a world and a lifetime away. I'm proud of her success. I'm happy for her. I hope she's pleased with her success and happy with her life. 

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.

Love,

Snoo

THE AFTERMATH

 Dear Hearts and Gentle People,

Happy Canada Day and Happy Fourth of July, although I hate you 4th of July with your damned, fucking fireworks.

The girls and I thank you for the kind, loving words you wrote to us following Franklin's death. 

I don't think losing him really affected Princess. They behaved as if they were friendly acquaintances. 

It's Penelope to whom Princess gave her heart, and it's a good thing she did because Penelope has needed her friend. She misses her big brother so much. For the first couple of weeks, Penelope spent quite a bit of time on the doggy bed that Franklin favored, but she tucked herself against a corner facing the wall. When she walked across the room where we all hang out, sometimes she broke into a plaintive cry that was painful to hear. She still cries. I'm sure Penelope hopes Franklin will come home to her the way Princess returned after her training. Penelope has perked up enough, though, that she plays with Princess a bit in the back yard and in the house.                      

Not much playing goes on at this time of the summer, however. We have reached the days of temperatures in the high 90s, but it "feels like" 100 something every afternoon, and we have a thunderstorm every afternoon or evening. It's too hot and humid to exert ourselves. It's Don't Move Weather, Not Unless You're Getting Some Ice Cream. 

I don't feel well anyway. I still miss Franklin, too, and I have been ill. I won't provide info on the illness because it's definitely TMI kinda stuff. 

The debate shocked the shit out of me because Joe Biden obviously was exhausted and not feeling well, and then the news shocked me even more when loads of assholes said he should drop out of the race! Why weren't they screaming that the felon shouldn't be allowed on a stage with POTUS? The so-called moderators were too weak to confront the criminal about the lies he told, but a lot of people were happy to go after the president because he had one bad night.

I saw something that made me feel a little better––that if Alfred can't take care of the bat cave for one night that doesn't mean you should turn it over to Joker. I think Jimmy Kimmel said that. It comforted me because it's true. 

If any of you can make the fireworks go away, then please carry out your plans. You will have our thanks along with homemade cookies.               .

If any of you can make donald trump go away, then . . . I guess I'll build an altar to you, a monument or something, and I'll bake a cake for you every week, whatever kind you want. 

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug, Princess, and Penelope

If you'll click on this link, I think it will make most of you smile. I've watched it over and over and it's cheered me up.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/837812578325894/?s=single_unit&__cft__[0]=AZWRiLV25ottO0rUE8vYLLVC9qsEc1K9Dyq7yy7r_YKQ5cRSG7hW7VGZ_jWqjnS9UGDsWTyVtjZpI1CWNjFZ2z0xy_SaD9Uo1tkB2VX6hV2LdeLisvKLmv7B057McGpRRubZxv5Naa0YaaSYqlTjVpVKslgG3L0mna0kqWxhvGf_3wQkQIzWpTFkN4AHlOeIq78&__tn__=H-R