CANDLES FOR K

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Last week I spoke with my very dear friend from high school. Sadly, her brother died, much too young. I also knew him in high school, although not well. He was a member of our school's elite singing group. He was never anything other than pleasant and kind. 

He later married a good friend of his sister's, whom I also knew. Now she's a widow. They have children and grandchildren who will miss him.

He had continued to be involved in music as an adult and volunteered at his church's food pantry. 

It's a terrible loss for my friend, and for their mother, who is 88. 

I didn't know what to do, so I lit a candle in his memory.

Every evening since I learned of his death, I've lit candles in the front window of my house.

,

Tomorrow night I'll light candles for all the dear lost ones of 2022. 

I wish you all well for 2023. 

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

GO HOME! JUST GO HOME!

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Fortunately, I am home and quite comfortable. It's our slow season at work, so in between handling small tasks, I can read, or  I can open my personal laptop for some blogging. I'm not neglecting my work. I simply don't have a lot of work to do now.

We were under some pressure to be in the office once a month for in-person meetings and to socialize over a provided lunch. That pressure is gone for now because the higher uppities decided they want our offices to be in a different part of the city, close to many restaurants and high-end shopping. Our former space was rented to someone else immediately, so a month-to-month continuation of the lease was impossible. The new space is being remodeled and it has been alleged it will be ready in March. I'm betting on June or July.

 I don't want to go to the new office. The traffic is terrible. If I should be required at some point to return to the office full time, that would be my breaking point.

I was supposed to go to a friend's for Christmas dinner. She texted me during the morning to say she was ill. I'm sorry she didn't feel well, but I was fine with staying at home to enjoy my favorite Christmas movies and a simple dinner. 

I thought I was done with Christmas shopping for myself after I bought three pairs of flannel jammies from Victoria's Secret. But I ended up getting myself a new office chair, too. I couldn't relax in the one I bought from the furniture store when I purchased my desk. On Mondays, I had no back pain. It commenced on Tuesday afternoons, and by the end of the week I had a constant sharp pain in my back, beneath my right shoulder blade. I needed a chair that allowed me to lean back and get comfy. And I found one. It even has a heat function, similar to a heating pad on the lowest setting. The warmth comforts my back and bottom.

I did not want to make any purchases on the larger side until at least March, but my back demanded I spend the money. 

I'm especially happy that work is slow now because I'm having annoying issues with the work computer stuff. My supervisor noticed yesterday that I don't have access to a particular application that I would seldom use and am not trained to use. He insisted that I call IT so they could make the %^&*$#! piece of shite work for me. No one in IT knew how to take care of it. Finally, someone who is supposed to know this stuff contacted me to ask what the problem was. He said he would send a temporary password for the application and once I used it to gain access, I could set a new password for myself. 

Instead, he sent me a password for an application I use all the time, which caused me to be kicked out of the system and unable to perform the little bit of work I did have. Again, I called IT. Again, no one knew what to do. Again, the knowledgeable person contacted me. He helped me get into the application I need and asked me to share my screen so he could be sure of what I needed with the application I don't need. When he saw what I was trying to do, he said, Oh, no. We can't help with that.

Christ on a cracker.

I was again locked out this morning but managed to get back in on my own. I am ignoring a message from the knowledgeable person and communicating as little as possible with my supervisor in the hope he will forget his need for me to have an application that no one can help me get into and I don't know how to use.

I was very grumpy upon being locked out this morning, but my mood is gradually lightening. Florida is out of the freezer. My backdoor is open so Franklin and Penelope can run in and out as they please. I can use my important work systems, at least for now. I enjoyed reading your most recent blog posts. They helped me feel better as well, as did writing this post with my complaints, which you should feel free to ignore.

My recent training was not very successful, and more training is to take place soon. I fear I'm being made a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

DOGGY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's cold in Florida. At least in my part of the state we don't have iguanas. When South Florida gets cold enough––and it's cold enough––iguanas fall out of the trees. I would not want an iguana landing on my head.

Since Friday, we've had temps in the 20s at night. This is the longest period of extended cold I've experienced during my 13 1/2 years in Florida. Of course, much of the U.S. suffers from far worse with whiteout conditions from a blizzard and snow falling so fast that the plows can't keep up with it.

How much snow do you have?

When Franklin went out for his morning potty on Monday, he came in shivering. I felt so sorry for him. I've never seen my thick-coated dog shiver before.

He found a sunbeam in the family room and I covered him with a blanket.

After a bit, he moved to his bed and took the blanket with him. My guy needed a nap.

Penelope likes to bunch up the blanket on the living room couch to make a nest for herself.

By afternoon, the temperature was up to about 50 and Franklin was ready to spend a few minutes on the deck.

I also took off his elf jammies after getting this photo, although he never tried to remove them on his own, which shocked me. Maybe Franklin has changed his opinion about clothing in his old age.

Stay warm!

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 Geseënde Kersfees! glædelig jul Joyeux Noël Frohe Weihnachten Nollaig Shona god jul Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia selamat hari Natal Heri ya Krismasi Jwaye Nowèl Mele Kalikimaka Nizhónígo Késhmish Adííłeeł  聖誕快樂, 圣诞快乐 (Shèngdàn kuàilè) Gëzuar Krishtlindja ᎤᏬᏢᏗ ᏓᏂᏍᏓᏲᎯᎲ (uwotlvdi danisdayohihv)

AND IN UKRAINIAN

З Різдвом (Христовим)! 

PENELOPE SPEAKS: THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT KISSMAS OF MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE

 Merry Kissmas! I knew you would visit me today because Santa Paws comes tonight!

When I wear my Santa Paws sweater, I carry Santa with me everywhere I go.

But now I have something new to wear because Santa let me have one gift early. You won't believe what it is!

It's a new hoodie! I am so excited.

Mom Mom said Santa gave me this beautiful garment because it is very, very cold here. Santa is worried about me. 

I love you, Santa Paws.

But I think something even more important has happened. Santa Paws is using this gift to send me a sign.

Santa knows that this hoodie is the costume for a character in my favorite movie, the one about the little reindeer who can fly. 

Every time I watch this movie, I cry when the other reindeer pick on Rudolph and won't let him play reindeer games. I cry for him because I know how he feels. You know that I am a poor, sad abused little doggy. Mom Mom ruined the secret passage to France and Mom Mom neglects me because of the stupid work thing. And she's always cackling with that Rubekkkkuh.

But then I am so happy when Santa asks Rudolph to help him deliver presents to all the good children and good doggies. When Santa and Rudolph and the other reindeer fly off I know they are bringing presents to me. 

I also cry when Rudolph visits The Island of Misfit Toys. The toys are so sad because no one wants them. I am crying now just thinking about it. Aaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaah  It is so sad. Waaaaaaaaah Waaaaaaaaaah

No one should be unwanted. It gets better again when my friend Santa goes to get the toys so children can have them again. I am dressed as the pink polka-dotted elephant.

I am sure Santa brought me this beautiful costume because it's his way of letting me know that I will star as the elephant toy in a sequel to the movie, or maybe a reboot of the original, the best movie ever. I am so excited. When I get the call telling me I have the starring role, I will be ready. Maybe the movie will even be made in France! And I will bark in French!

I can't wait. When I know I am the star, I will tell Mom Mom how foolish she was when she ruined my journey to France, and I will not take her there with me. Poor, stupid Mom Mom. Everyone will admire me and applaud me and I will walk on a red carpet and not even pee on it. Just you wait and see.

So now I say to you my loyal fans, Merry Kissmas and I am coming soon to a theater near you.

FRANKLIN FRIDAY: YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT MOM'S DONE TO ME NOW

 Hi. It's me, Franklin the Bordernese and geeze louise. Mom has gone and done it now.

First it was, Here sweetheart, put on the elf hat so I can take your picture and then you can dig in the yard. So I wore the damn hat and then shook it right off and did my digging.

But then Mom said, Come here, buddy, I have something extra special for you. You're my boyfriend and I can't wait to see how much you love this present.

I couldn't resist that. I thought she'd give me a hamburgerger or something else really great. Instead, this is what she did to me:

Mom made me into a flippin' elf.

I turned my back on her. I was indinadignant. That means being upset and angry because you're an elf.

Mom just kept right on taking pictures of me and telling me how adorable I was. I only got one tiny treat. I don't like to use bad words, but I told Ole Penlapee, This is bullshit. She laughed.

But then it was time to go out to potty before bed. It was raining. It takes a lot of time for my thick fur to dry after I'm out in the rain.

I discubbered that my hair didn't get as wet with my elf suit on! That was a good thing!

It's also pretty chilly here and it's supposed to get really really cold this weekend. Prolly colder than I've ever been before.

I slept in the elf suit last night. It was the first time I ever wore jammies.

Maybe being an elf isn't too bad.

So now I say Bye bye bye bye. I'm Franklin the Bordernese and I'm a cozy elf when I wear these.

A LITTLE CHRISTMAS LARSONY

 

FRANKLIN FRIDAY ON A TUESDAY: IT'S THE MOST WUNNERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Hi! Hi! Hi! It's me me me Franklin and I don't lift my leg on Kissmas trees!

Mom said if I would put on this hat and get my picture taken then I could go out to dig in the yard all I wanted.

So I said, HO HO HO!

 

Then I shook that damn hat off my head and ran outside to dig and dig and dig!

Merry Kissmas from me me me Franklin the Bordernese!

PENELOPE SPEAKS: FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Hi! Merry Kissmas! I am so excited that Santa Paws is coming soon. I have been singing lots. I changed the words to one song:

It's the most wonderful time of the year! There are parties for hosting and people for roasting and caroling out in the snow! There are scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Kissmases when Mom Mom was 12! 

Did you see the jokes I put in the song? Did you get it? PEOPLE FOR ROASTING!!! HA HA HA HA! I AM SO FUNNY! 

And did you see the part about Mom Mom was 12? That's so silly. It's a joke because Mom Mom was never 12. She has always been just the way she is now because she is Mom Mom!

Grandma came to see me yesterday! She brought two cookies for me and two cookies for my big brother Franklin. I love Grandma! I love cookies! I love Franklin!

It is very, very cold here. I hope Santa Paws will still be able to come for Kissmas. I am worried about him freezing. I insisted that Mom Mom get out my Santa Paws sweater to keep me warm and to let him know I am a very worried little doggy who is waiting for him.

Then the toy bone I was chewing on fell off the bed. I did not know what to do, so I stared at Mom Mom until she picked it up and put it next to me. 

Doing anything I need is in the Mom Mom job description. This is another joke! I am so clever! I am the smartest, funniest, most adorable doggy in the world! 

I will let you know what happens with Santa Paws. Cross your fingers and your toes and hope for the best for me!

Bye-bye for now!!! Merry Kissmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS CAT

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Mother raised me to hate cats. She thought cats were hideous creatures. I don't know the origin of her hatred. Maybe it came from her mother.

When we lived in Laurel, Maryland, however, we had mice. Everyone in our development did. The townhouses were backed by woods, but then the woods became only a strip of land when the property was developed. The changes sent little animals out of their usual habitat and into our houses..

The X Man didn't have too much difficulty talking me into looking at cats available for adoption. We came home with a gray tabby who had taken a shine to our four-year-old daughter. He approached her repeatedly, asking her to pet him.

He was named Devil, which we didn't care for. We named him Milhous, after Richard Nixon, because we expected him to be tricky at finding and killing mice. 

Milhous changed my mind about cats. He was sweet and soft and loved to be loved. He stayed with us through a move to Western Maryland and finally, a move to Illinois, where he died after about 16 years with us. 

I always said he was our daughter's guardian angel because he spent his nights on her pillow, watching over her as she slept. She reported that he sometimes woke her up at night by chewing on her long hair. 

The first Christmas we had Milhous, he climbed the Christmas tree and stole the angel from the top. He thought the angel needed cosmetic surgery so he bit off her face. He also knocked over a Christmas tree or two during other holiday seasons.

He was such a success that we added two female cats to the family. The females were not as nice as Milhous, but I was glad we could give them a home. 

The three of them liked to rest under the Christmas tree on the tree skirt. They knew they were better than any other gifts under the tree.

The first story I had published and was paid for was about Milhous. Receiving a check from a magazine made me feel that I was a real writer. I'm eternally grateful to Milhous for making me someone who could get paid for writing.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

 Christmas Cat curls into a ball beneath the tree, as compactly perfect as any ornament.

Watches lights flicker, enjoys a brief nibble on a bit of red and green ribbon.

Brightly wrapped toys, clothes, and books surround her.

But she smiles, knowing she is the best gift of all

Because she is Cat.

I AM SUCH A WIENER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I've been away from the blogosphere because of the training I'm doing at work, so I was kind of late finding out that our beloved Mistress Maddie, who is so smart and funny, declared  me–– yes, me, the white bread girl from Kansas––the wiener winner in the captioning contest for The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

My entry:

There once was a fellow named Maddie

And if you were a fine pool boy, he'd have ye

And when he was done

In his tacky green elf shorts he'd tuck away his 14 inch one

And that was fun for our Maddie!

If you want to know how I know it's 14 inches, forget about it. I'll never tell.

Maddie will be sending me those nasty, tacky, flea-ridden elf shorts so I can hold a captioning contest of my own. Be prepared. 

My big concern? I will never look as good in those shorts as Mads does. He has great legs! Click this link to check him out.

I also cannot walk in a shoe with a heel so anything I wear is worn with Keds.

My training at work continues. It was rough at first, but it's going much better now. I will miss a little bit of training soon when our team heads out to a restaurant for a holiday lunch. Limit is $20 per person. That won't pay for enough margaritas to get me sloshed. 

Boo-hoo. I'll have to work sober that afternoon.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug