Look at my face
Look me in the eye, if you dare.
I can kill you
with the flip of a wrist
with the point of a finger
with the wink of an eye.
It's so easy.
It's so simple.
I carry Death within me.
I am Power.
My motto as an editor: Authors are the authority on their work. I'm a full-service editor. For a reasonable fee, I'm your writing coach from the first suggested revision to the correction of the final typo.
Yeah...I'm never getting on your bad side...
ReplyDelete-andi
A good plan.
DeleteOh Janie, this one is strong. It seems very finished, but it could expand too.
ReplyDelete"I carry DEATH within me."
You'll have to teach me "the flip of the wrist" thingy.
It's powerful. I love it.
The flip of the wrist thingy is the use of a fly swatter to kill a winged invader.
DeleteI'm too scared to comment--don't hurt me, please!!
ReplyDeleteI only kill bugs and lizards that invade my home. A fishducky is safe.
DeleteWow, that is powerful.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susie.
DeleteThank you, Beth.
ReplyDeleteI might add something about a can of whoop ass.
ReplyDeleteI just hope I haven't ever done anything to anger you.
ReplyDeleteNot yet.
Deletewow...I'm kinda sca sca scared!
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, Debbie.
DeleteDear Janie, the poem is forceful and relenting. Both good. But somehow at the end I felt a little let down. I'm thinking that "Power" is such an abstraction. I'd like a more concrete, tangible word--or phrase or line--here. Just a thought. Peace.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate a concrete constructive criticism. I see your point. Power doesn't quite work.
DeleteI had a feeling you were talking to an insect. Still very well done!
ReplyDeleteSho nuff is ~~ get outta dare!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sophie!
DeleteI came here to thank you for your words for Soldier, thank you for caring, dear Janie.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the poem, I think maybe you should go pet Franklin for a while.
Franklin is sitting next to me with his head on my leg.
DeleteOooooh! Scary!
ReplyDeleteYou're safe.
DeleteGood. I was really getting worried!
DeleteYou never have to worry with me. You're too far away for my back to tolerate the drive in the car.
DeleteOohhhh errrrrrrrrrr
ReplyDeleteSuccinct as always, John.
DeleteI leave for a while and you turn into a kick-ass mama. Remind me to show you how to kill using only one finger.
ReplyDeleteI'm not much of a kick ass.
DeleteI say this to the bugs that get into my porch. ;)
ReplyDeleteEvery time you smack a bug, shout I AM POWER. You'll feel so good and fascinate the neighbors at the same time.
DeleteBloody great piece of writing
ReplyDelete