Tuesday, September 10, 2013

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: SCOUT

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

This post is very difficult to write.


Scout died on Labor Day. I've put off telling you because I've been grieving.


Scout and I were together for a long time. I adopted him in Illinois when he was about 18 months old. He had been hit by a car and left tied to a tree. His life was saved and from the moment I met him at an adopt a pet day, I thought he was quite affable. He knew how to sit and shake hands. If he slipped out the front door, he would pee on a bush or a tree and come right back in. He never ran away. He killed moles in our yard in Illinois. He was probably getting close to 10 years old.

When I sat at my desk, he sat at my feet. When the weather turned chilly, he slept on my pillow, curled around my head. He was the only one of the Z-Boys who could sit on my lap.

When The Hurricane was here last Christmas, she saw him on my pillow and said it looked like my head had been swallowed by a black dog.

Scout was kind of growly. I said it was because he thought he was a little black bear cub.

He wasn't a biter.

I felt sorry for him because Harper and Franklin became such good friends and Scout was kind of the odd man out.

It's my fault that he died, and I've shed a lot of tears over it. That's all I have to say about that.

The great blessings from God are that he spent some happy years with me and that right after he died, I was going to text Favorite Young Man to request his help. Before I could get to my phone, the doorbell rang. It was Favorite Young Man. He was here to take care of something else, but he ended up burying Scout.


Scout, I love you, and I'm grateful for the time we had together. I'm sorry.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

58 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry. Scout lived well and happy.
    many hugs.

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  2. I do feel your pain, hon. I posted about it of Facebook, but we had to put down my chocolate lab, Gabby, last week. She had a cancerous lump on her back leg. It got to where we had to put a sling on her and help her up off the floor. The tumor erupted and she was hurting. Dr. Amber came over and gently put her to sleep. She was lying on the floor with Judy stroking her head. Amber was talking to her gently as Gabby laid her head down on her crossed paws and went to sleep. She is buried in the back yard. This is not a happy house right now, but it is getting better. You house will get better too. Trust me!

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    1. I'm so sorry about Gabby, Coffey. I know how you love your dogs and cats.

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  3. Oh, Janie. I'm so sorry to hear. Let the good memories play in your mind and let his growls chime as a sweet musical instrument in your ears.

    You're in my thoughts.

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    1. His growl was his happy noise. He even growled when I scratched his tummy for him.

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  4. Oh Janie. I'm so very, very sorry! I don't know why you say it's your fault, but I will pray that your heart finds peace. What a sweet boy who clearly loved you with all his canine heart.

    Hugs,
    -andi

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  5. I'm so sorry. My heart hurt for you when I read this because I know how painful it is. Focus on the beauty and happiness you two gave each other. I'm sure he would want that to be his legacy to you.

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  6. I am truly sorry to hear that. My sympathies are with you.

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  7. I am sorry to hear of your loss. It is never easy, they become so much a part of our life. At least he was saved from his horrible fate and got to lay his head on a pillow.

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    1. Yes, I'm glad he didn't die tied to that tree.

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  8. Dear Janie, in your grief please call upon all the good memories you have of Scout and your life together. As Dulcy said at the beginning of our story, "At the end, all that matters is love. My love for my human and hers for me. I have planted the memories of our life together in her heart. She will find them there when I am gone and they will comfort her."

    I, too, had guilty feelings when Bartleby died and then when Dulcy died. And I lived with that guilt for many years. But finally I became convinced that neither Bartleby or Dulcy would want me to feel the pang of guilt. They would forgive me anything. I hope you can hold on to that. Peace.

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    Replies
    1. You're right, Dee. Scout would have forgiven me for anything.

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  9. These family members are so much more than pets. I'm so sorry for your loss, but it does seem that Scout won the lottery when you found him, and you can take some measure of comfort in that. I've had people tell me they'll never get a dog because it would hurt too much when the dog died. But these people will never understand the joy of unconditional love and total adoration that these special creatures provide. Take care; you'll be in my thoughts today.

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    1. You're right: My boys are no mere "pets".

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  10. Ah man, I'm sorry Junebug. I know from experience that loosing a beloved pet is hard. We'll be thinking about you.

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    1. Thanks, Rick. I've been through it before.

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  11. I'm so sorry, Janie. Words aren't much help, but you are in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you. You are in my prayers, too. I know how you must be hurting.

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  12. So sorry, Janie. That is heartbreaking.

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  13. Oh, I am so sorry! It's hard to lose a pet - especially one who has been with you so long. He was part of the family.

    Please don't think it's your fault! Banish that thought from your head right now! You're a good mommy!

    I'm sending over a double dose of hugs and virtual tissues. If you need more, let me know! HUGS, HUGS, TISSUES, TISSUES!!

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    1. Thank you for the hugs and tissues. I need them.

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  14. aww :( I'm so sorry for your loss. He looks so cute in these pics!

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  15. As you know
    I have been in your position too many times
    It's awful...awful....awful.....
    So sorry......sending you hugs
    Kiplings poem always comes to my mind at times like these

    THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
    From men and women to fill our day;
    And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
    Why do we always arrange for more?
    Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
    Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
    Buy a pup and your money will buy
    Love unflinching that cannot lie
    Perfect passion and worship fed
    By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
    Nevertheless it is hardly fair
    To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

    When the fourteen years which Nature permits
    Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
    And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
    To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
    Then you will find - it's your own affair, -
    But ... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

    When the body that lived at your single will,
    With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!),
    When the spirit that answered your every mood
    Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,
    You will discover how much you care,
    And will give your heart to a dog to tear!

    We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
    When it comes to burying Christian clay.
    Our loves are not given, but only lent,
    At compound interest of cent per cent,
    Though it is not always the case, I believe,
    That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve;
    For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
    A short-time loan is as bad as a long -
    So why in - Heaven (before we are there)
    Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

    ........
    The answer is...... Because we do

    Xxxx

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    1. I've never read that poem, John. It's perfect. Thank you.

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  16. I'm so sorry for your loss, Janie. Hugs. My thoughts are with you :(

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  17. I'm so sorry, Janie--please read Dee's comment again. It's important that you believe it!!

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    1. Thanks, Fran. I will read Dee's comment as many times as it takes.

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  18. I came over from Going Gently. How very sad. I am sure your boy was extremely grateful that you took him in and cared for him all those years. Don't be so hard on yourself. He loved you as you loved him.

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  19. Aw, sweetie, I'm so sorry. We all know how painful losing a pet can be. But remember that you were his person, and he loved you. Don't blame yourself. You loved him; he loved you. Sending positive thoughts and a big hug your way.

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  20. Hi Janie, I'm sorry for your loss and know how you feel....I lost a rabbit this year that had I not had a forgetful day might still be here. Hugs to you and a toast to Scout.

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  21. Janie, I am so sorry to hear this! Scout was a lovely companion for you and he will surely be missed. You rescued him and gave him a wonderful life. Big hugs and don't be so hard on yourself.

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  22. Hi JJB!
    I can't pretend to know what the entire story is but do believe Scout had a good life. Remembering all the little idiosyncrasies and love-moments will always be with you. Now go hug Franklin & Harper and give them that extra squeeze because, well, just because!

    Love and Hugs from Ron and wet nudges from Sophie Doodle !

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    1. Franklin and Harper are getting extra love from me. They were very distraught when Scout died. They knew something was wrong.

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  23. Janie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. I will pray for you to find comfort and peace!

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    1. Thanks so much. Prayers are always appreciated.

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  24. So sorry that you are grieving the loss of your Scout. Regardless of what happened, please do not beat yourself up over it. The nest thing about a loved pet is that they would never want to see you sad & crying over what happened to them. Scout knew you loved him & had given him many years of love & care. Accidents are just that. Dogs never dwell on problems. They immediately forgive & never stop loving us for a minute.If onty people could live in the moment like that they would be better off. I hope you sadness is replaced with good memories of your time with Scout.

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  25. Mention a dog and people can't get here fast enough. When Joe went to pick up Lucky's ashes, he drove home with his boy on his lap, then was crying so hard I had to help him out of the truck. It helps knowing he has gone wherever we have gone and we can STILL cry at the drop of a hat when a memory comes back. It's been over 4 years now!

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    1. If we're such a society of dog lovers, then how come so many dogs end up in shelters? Why do we tolerate puppy mills?

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  26. I am so sorry for your loss.

    However he left you, for whatever reason or way, know that he had his best years with you and you made his life worthwhile.

    We find our soulmates in people and also in our furry and feathered friends, our lives touch and meld and we share so much together, when we are cast apart we suffer, but we would never have lived without the joys and the highs that having some wonderful people and animals in our lives can bring.

    To love is sometimes to hurt, but it is always worth it.

    RIP Scout, you were loved.

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  27. I am sure Scout blessed the day you came into his life........I hope he is at peace and I am sure he is waiting for you to join him on the other side..

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    1. I look forward to seeing all my dogs again in Heaven.

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  28. Black dogs are hard to place. Usually, they languish in shelters. But, I love black dogs. I am sorry he died. I grieved for weeks over a chicken, Fancy. So, I know how it can be. I also felt it was my fault.

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    1. You're right. I always see lots of black dogs in shelters.

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  29. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about Scout!! It is so hard when we lose our long time companions. :( But I am positive he had happy years with you.

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