From time to time, I describe my mom as "difficult", but one difficulty my mother didn't have was with spending money. She was extraordinarily generous. My dad was right there with her when it came to giving.
After my dad retired from the military, the Air Force base where he had been stationed was closed. They couldn't go on without my dad, right?
I was a newlywed, and then a young mom, living not too far from Fort Riley, Kansas, while X (not yet Dr. X) finished his bachelor's degree. We didn't have much money. At times, the only "food" in our refrigerator was a pitcher of water.
Because the base had closed, my parents couldn't shop for groceries at the base exchange. So they started going to Fort Riley to shop once a month.
On their way home from Fort Riley, they always stopped to see me – and their newest grandson – in our small married student housing apartment. And, oh, by the way, there were some groceries they'd picked up for us just in case we needed them: a bag of apples, and a box of crackers, and some laundry detergent, and a little of this, and a little of that.
Every month, until X graduated and we moved on to another university in a different state, my parents showed up at our door with food for us. They would even take a cooler in their car so they could drop off some milk and meat.
I always said, Gosh, thanks, this is great. But I never told them what a difference those monthly gifts made in the quality of our lives.
I think they knew.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
Parents ALWAYS know. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice that instead of worrying if the boys and I are okay, they can now just vacation with us. Well, that is, is my dad would ever take a day off.
My dad wasn't one to take off from work, either.
DeleteThey were obviously concerned, kind and generous. I liked that post.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susie. You hit the nail on the head.
DeleteParents know if the pay attention. My first wife and I did not have a luxury. But we were not hurting that bad as I was making pretty good, not great, money and we survived. But my parents NEVER once came to our apartment or house. I thank there were just glad I was gone. But they did love my first wife and daughter. You were blessed to have your parents.
ReplyDeleteYes, I was, Coffey, but I think my parents were glad to have me out of the house, too.
DeleteWhat great parents- and I think you're right. I think they knew. A wonderful story and memory~
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shelly. They had many good points.
DeleteI am sure they knew how much those groceries meant to you and your family. And so considerate of them to sort of just drop by after doing their own shopping -- like we just picked up a few little things for you guys since we did out big shopping anyway today.
ReplyDeleteGratitude is so important -- I think you for this weekly post to remind us.
Thank you, Inger. I have so much to be grateful for -- including the ability to end a sentence with a preposition and not freak out. I am calm. I swear I am calm. I will not change that sentence. Well, maybe I'll change it later.
DeleteWhen my daughter's kids were very small, I used to babysit for her one afternoon a week so she could go grocery shopping by herself, go to a movie or just sit in the car & read a book. I didn't care if she appreciated it (she DID!), I just wanted her to do it for her own grandchildren. We'll find out if that happens in a few years.
ReplyDeleteThat's so nice, Fran. I had very little time to myself for years. I would have passed out from joy if I'd had even one afternoon to do as I wished.
DeleteIt was really thoughtful of them to bring over the groceries. It's tough when you're first starting out!
ReplyDeleteIt was especially tough for us. We were so young.
DeleteI believe this is the nature of parenting....no matter how old the 'kids' are, Janie. How nice that your parents 'knew' your situation and that you needed them then.
ReplyDeleteLovely story and memory to have of their kindness.
Thanks, Jim. I hope my children know I'm here for them.
DeleteDarn you! Now I'm too misty to leave a decent comment.
ReplyDeleteOh, pull up your big boy panties and get over it. It wasn't that sweet.
DeleteOur parents helped us as well. We would have had a much harder time without their generosity.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
Generosity makes all the difference in the world.
DeleteI love my kids to pieces, but I was happy as a pig in the mud when thy were all out on their own. (Is that wrong?)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your parents knew how much those groceries meant to you. That's why they did it.
I'm glad my children live on their own, but I'm glad when I can help them, too.
DeleteI love your family stories, your parents sure were super nice. My parents never stopped by, so what if they were 9,000 miles away...
ReplyDeleteHow selfish of them, not traveling 9,000 miles at least once a month.
DeleteMy mom and dad helped out some when Dagan was little and we were alone--buying milk, food, and letting me wash clothes at their house. I think they finally realized my ex wasn't as nice as they wanted to believe he was when he threw ten dollars at me and told me to go ahead and leave if I was so miserable...and he didn't want anything to do with the baby because he was told Dagan was going to die anyways. My mom even bought me a sewing machine and paid for classes and fabric at Stretch&Sew. We had our issues, but they helped Dagan and I out when we needed help in our little apartment in Fridley. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad they helped when you needed it the most.
DeleteDear Janie, I always feel good when I post something about Mom and Dad and how they showed their love for me. I wasn't always certain of this love but as the years have passed and I've matured I've become better able to see the footprints of love. I'm glad this has happened for you too. Peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dee. Knowing we have been loved contributes to healing, I think.
DeleteAs a mum who loves to care for her children I can imagine your parents knowing you needed them, I use to (by use to I mean still do) clean out my cupboards and freezer every few months and take the unused food items to Friday breakfast and ask if anyone would like it thinking of two of my sisters who often will divide the food between the two of them...........long before we had Friday breakfast I would just bag up the stuff and take it over to my sister Jeannie and here use what you want toss what you don't want.....just because I knew she didn't have much money
ReplyDeleteThat's so sweet, Jo-Anne.
DeleteMy parents showed up often with a bag of groceries, always orange juice and milk and tuna and eggs along with other food. When I became pregnant, I was not unhealthy because of not having proper nutrition. After I was pregnant, the food came a little more often. I was so grateful for every bag of groceries.
ReplyDeleteNow, I have three children. One is struggling. I send food to her in a flat rate box. The food is often free or bought at a deep discount, so even though I struggle, I can help. The food is always in with a birthday gift or Christmas gift. I even mailed her sweet potatoes and pecans, two things she loves that are fresh and can be mailed.
It feels so good to help.
DeleteThat is so sweet. :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom likes to bring us food, too. Maybe it is a generational thing. I always think it is so kind and loving.