Wednesday, June 19, 2013

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING AND LISTENING AND READING

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I've been hearing a lot about how the NSA, under the guise auspices of Homeland Security, has continued to read our email and listen in on our conversations – a practice begun during a previous administration, and because no one is minding the store, the shoplifting continues. I realize that this behavior annoys, pisses off, or even inflames some people.



But I read a very interesting article about how government spying on the American people averted a tragedy earlier this year when a couple of young men planned to plant some bombs at the finish line of the Boston marathon.

What's that you say? Huh? Those guys did that and didn't get caught till AFTER they killed and injured some people and caused all sorts of trouble? Oh, shit crap what the fuck my bad. Haven't watched the news since . . . I don't want to bring up that tragedy.

Well, since the covert actions continue, I want to volunteer to be of some assistance. I'm not very good at spying on people. I don't even make a good nosy neighbor. Sweet Young Allison was several months into her pregnancy before someone mentioned to me  I noticed she had a baby bump.

Because I'm not a good spy, then I want to volunteer to be spied on. If the government will concentrate on me, they can stop bothering some of the people who are upset about the whole schlemiel.

I don't mind at all if they watch me. They can put a nanny cam in my house.


The government can listen to me 24/7, including in my bedroom.



They can read my letters to my mother-in-law. They can read my email. They can follow me everywhere I go, which is usually from the house to the yard and back in the house. Maybe a spy will even remind me not to weed whip my leg again (and I was not wearing shorts when I did that, Coffey).

American Public: I want to be the U.S. Government's Whipping Girl.

I am so fascinating that no one will bother the rest of you ever again.



Please. Martyr me. I can take it.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

P.S. Just one thing, NSA: Could you please not read my blog? Sometimes I write some kind of private things here, and I don't want just anybody reading my stuff.



Oh, and please don't confuse me with some other blogger. This is what I look like:



Thank you for you cooperation.




31 comments:

  1. Oh, Janie, I love to laugh unexpectedly, and you, my friend, have a wonderful knack for causing just that!

    And thank you for taking one for the team. If anyone is spying on me, they are in mortal danger of passing away from boredom.

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    1. I'm always willing to put myself out there to suffer in place of my friends. It's a hard life, but I can do it.

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  2. Haha. I'm as exciting as you are.

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  3. My life is pretty boring. I can't imagine what thrill they'd get from reading my stuff.

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    1. Oh, but I'm so exciting. I might buy a gallon of milk this afternoon. Skim.

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  4. And if you suddenly disappear next week, never to be seen again, we will think kind thoughts about you. And never, ever, think that Big Brother had anything in any way to do with your disappearance.

    Blessings and Bear hugs (to you too, Big Brother, since you are reading)!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry).

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    1. You're so kind to Big Brother. I know he appreciates it. I doubt if anyone else gives him blessings and bear hugs.

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  5. Dear Janie, all of this is being a dilemma for me. I don't want our country to become George Orwell's vision, but I do want to be safe and I do believe that to be so, I must let the government do some spying. I doubt if the powers that be are reading my e-mails or listening to my phone calls. I suspect that the government has a list of suspicious characters.

    But even if the government does listen to my calls or read my e-mails, I think that the listeners and readers are going to have to take something to keep them awake. Most of what I write and say is so B-O-R-I-N-G!!!! Peace.

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    1. The "spying" doesn't bother me at all. I doubt if it's as big a deal as some people make it out to be.

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  6. Janie, you are so fascinating that I think the TSA will spend all their time paying attention to you and leave the rest of us alone. You are such a hero!

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    1. Shucks, thanks. You would know. You're the Mama.

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  7. I'm sure the government would find my life boring but I wish they cared enough to spy on me.

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  8. They can read my emails & listen to my phone calls if they want--they probably couldn't make sense of them, anyway!!

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    1. I doubt if anything they hear or read makes much sense.

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  9. I don't think I'll volunteer. I don't think the elephants and asses get my humor.

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    1. Probably not. They might descend on me at any minute.

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  10. Hehe Janie, you can lead a man's heart astray.

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    1. Oh, I don't know about that. It's nice to hear from you, as always, my oceangirl.

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  11. If Big Brother is watching over my shoulder, most of the time he'd be bored to tears... but maybe not lately. I've been doing research for my next book, and some of the topics I've been investigating might get them a little excited. Hmmm, on second thought, maybe a LOT.

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    1. Wow! I'm looking forward to that next book. Hot Flashes And Cold Lemonade arrived in the mail. I hope to start it today.

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  12. I bet I am more boring than you, Janie. Yes, I did actually go buy a gallon of milk...whole. I am definitely against broad spying policies. Who knows when all of a sudden something a person has done becomes illegal or grounds for suspicion. It is a slippery slope.

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    1. Wow! Whole Milk. You live on the wild side. That could be grounds for arrest.

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  13. ROFL! Hey! I could volunteer, too. I can guarantee them that my life is PG in pretty much any and all areas--LOL!
    You're very pretty, BTW. ;)

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    1. It's not me! It's Little Lotta Joy (Dana Wyzard). But she lives in Florida, too. The NSA would be sorry if they went after her.

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  14. lol, this is too funny. And quite the beautiful picture there at the end.

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    1. I'm sure Dana appreciates your admiration. I don't look that good.

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