Friday, June 21, 2013

FRANKLIN FRIDAY: THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE

Hi, Every Buddy. It's me: Franklin the Bordernese.



I don't like what's going on at our house. Mom has brought a new creature to live with us.

Her name is Mrs. Roomba. I thought she would stay in her own spot, like Mrs. Toaster or Mrs. Coffeemaker, but no, she roams around the house whirring away. I can't get comfortable and take a nap or look out the window without her chasing me.

This is what she looks like:


But she's a whole lot bigger, and she can talk. It's so creepy.

Mom is in love with Mrs. Roomba. She says she'll probably write a GRATITUDE TUESDAY post about Mrs. Roomba because Mrs. Roomba cleans up me and my brothers' hair. Mom says we're shedding a lot now because it's hot outside.

I'm not shedding. I wouldn't shedding. Shedding sounds bad. I'm never a bad dog.

Um, could somebody explain to me what shedding means? I know I don't do it. I'm just curious.

Mrs. Roomba is gonna drive me crazy. When we go to bed at night and shut the bedroom door, I hear her whirring around the house.

I want Mrs. Roomba to go away, or stay in one place. She shouldn't bump into poor little innocent doggies who never do any shedding.

I love you, Every Buddy. I'm just very tired right now.

Franklin The Bordernese



48 comments:

  1. shedding means you are letting your hair drop right?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it does, Lisa, but Franklin doesn't understand.

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  2. Oh, dear; such an intrusion on your privacy. I do hope that either Mrs. Roomba learns to behave herself, or she leaves.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, Mr. Bear. She's intruding on my piracy. It's not right.

      Delete
  3. Sorry Franklin. That must be annoying. I wonder why all those things are Mrs-es? Especially Mrs. Coffee?

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    Replies
    1. Roomba is Mrs. because she has a lady's voice. I don't know why everything else is Mrs., except Mr. Vibrator.

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    2. Oh f*ck, that was funny. See? You made me drop the almost f-bomb. Haha.

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    3. You can drop the f-bomb at my bloghouse anytime you want. I've been known to do so.

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    4. I dunno. Would I be the only one besides you?? They all seem pretty tame.

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    5. Some of them aren't always so tame on their blogs, and occasionally Coffeypot's comments can be downright naughty. I like naughty.

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  4. What is it? It looks like a black doorknob.

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    Replies
    1. It's a robot vacuum cleaner, Coffey. I know Franklin doesn't like it, but it's so cool. It works very well.

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  5. Aww, Franklin, I understand your feelings about the Roomba. My mom has not one, but two, and I'm always a little leery of it when we visit.

    Don't worry about your shedding. It just means even more of your beauty is shining through.

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    Replies
    1. I like being bootiful. I can't imagine how scary it would be to have two Mrs. Roombas in the house.

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  6. Mr. Fishducky is big & scary enough--I wouldn't want a Mrs. Roomba in my house, either!!

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    Replies
    1. Aw, I bet Mr. Fishducky isn't scary at all.

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  7. Eddie wants a Roomba...I know he does!!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Eddie, I wish I could send Mrs. Roomba to you.

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  8. Aw Franklin, don't worry. You'll get used to the creepy Roomba...probably. Please tell your mum thanks for setting me straight on the Joni Mitchel lyric. But don't tell her that I strongly prefer the Counting Crows version of the song, okay?

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    Replies
    1. I'm not saying anything to Mom except GET RID OF MRS. ROOMBA.

      Delete
  9. I sympathize with you, Franklin. Perhaps you should enlist a few cats to help you get rid of this "monster." You just aren't devious enough. That's what cats are for.

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    Replies
    1. Cats can't come in our house, Mr. C. My brother Harper thinks cats are toys, and he likes to pick them up and shake them till . . . well, I guess I'd better not tell you what happens to those cats.

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  10. No problem, Franklin. Lay across the top of Mrs. Roomba, and the two of you can rhumba together. It'll be fun! If you're too heavy for her, she'll make a funny noise and stop dancing, and will have to stay in one place. So either way, you win!

    Happy weekend!

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    Replies
    1. I'm too scared to get that close to her!

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  11. Hey Franklin, I'll take the Roomba so you can sleep. I have a German Shedder doggy. I'm sure Mrs. Roomba would be perfect for my place, because I'm having a hard time keeping my Shedder's hair off the floor.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, Mrs. Sherry, but I don't think Mom will give up Mrs. Roomba.

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  12. "Bee-Beep. Open Roomba's brush cage, and clean brushes." I love my Roomba. Mom 1, Roomba 1, Doggies 0.

    Happy Weekend!

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    Replies
    1. We can't have 0 doggies in our house!

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    2. Oops, my bad. I was so tired last night. I meant that was the score in our house. I love Roomba, Roomba does a great job, and we have two doggies that don't much like her. But they shed like crazy. Our border collie will get within a couple of feet and watch her roll and circle, but if she ventures his way, he's outta there. The heeler keeps a safe distance and a wary eye. Sorry about the confusion.

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  13. I want a Mrs Roomba so I am jealous of you and your mamma but I know it isn't nice when you try to settle down for a nap and she comes and wakes you and makes you move........

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  14. Just sit on her Franklin, that may solve at least some of your problems. And I believe you on the shedding it must be a cat sneaking in.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, a cat gets in the house at night when we're asleep with Mom. I bet that happens.

      Delete
  15. Poor little dog.... I so feel for you. The best thing to do is piss on it so it'll explode. I did the same with an ex-girlfriend of mine.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe I can get close enough to lift my leg.

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  16. Oh poor Franklin! How could anyone sleep with a whirring metal creature roaming about the place. You'll have to ask Mom what shedding is because it might freak you out to hear about it if I tell you. :)

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    1. Mom says shedding means our hair falls out when it's hot. That doesn't make sense cuz then we'd be bald and we have lotsa hair.

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  17. Sophie wants you to know Franklin that she wouldn't STAND for this either!!
    But one of her humans has been heard to say that this is a wonderful machine and would LOVE to have one. But don't tell Soph! Please!!

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    1. If I find out you're bringing Mrs. Roomba to your house, I WILL warn Sophie. Us dogs has to stick together.

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  18. Every day, Joe runs the Swiffer on the hardwood floors and I vacuum the area rugs. Do you think it covers ALL the area? I really want to know. Does the battery run down after it's halfway done? Tell, baby, tell.

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    1. It doesn't get behind furniture unless you pull out the furniture, or the furniture is high enough for roomba to get under it. The battery lasts about two hours, but it stops and says boop be beep (very musically) every time the dust bin is full. Then it needs to be emptied and restarted, but all that's required to restart is putting her on the floor and pushing a button. At first she couldn't clean the entire house without the battery running out first. Now she can. I'm amazed at how clean and thorough she is. I got one of the more expensive models because I know they work better. I'm surprised at how easy it is to empty the dust bin. Some people complained in Amazon reviews that she needs new filters every week. Someone else said, Just blow out the filters with a can of air every week. The can of air works. I run her almost every day, and I'm in love with her. She's not perfect, but she's so good for my back. She also talks when her battery has run out and says she needs to be recharged. She recharges in about four hours. If you think you might want one, I recommend reading customer reviews online. See what people like and don't like. Finding the things people disliked prepared me for dealing with her limitations, albeit small.

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  19. Caillou says do what I do Franklin, get on the couch.
    R

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  20. Hi Franklin .. that sounds like a cruel streak to life in the Janie house .. I do hope they turn Mrs Roomba off for you - hope these comments help ..

    Cleaning up before you shed your fur is a little much .. sounds like having the hoover out before we've had our breakfast ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Hilary, Janie here. Franklin and the other two boys are shedding like mad. Franklin doesn't understand shedding so he thinks Mrs. Roomba isn't required. Trust me: She is.

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  21. If I were you I would bite roomba:)

    Have you read And the mountains echoed? It is a nice one.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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    Replies
    1. No, haven't heard of And the mountains echoed. I'll look for it.

      Delete
  22. Hi there! I'm catching up :)

    I adored this post :) Poor little doggies in your house. My pets wouldn't like Roomba, either, but I'm quite sure I would love it. They need to create one that can creep up on couches and beds to get rid of the hair there, too. Oh, and one to do my dishes, too!

    "I wouldn't shedding." ha ha ha :)

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