WHAT? MONDAY

Dear Readers,

Today's What? Monday question is

What kind of neighbors do you have? Also, have you had neighbors at any time who were especially strange or sweet? Please share your stories with us.

I hope Bouncin' Barb   feels better because she's told some hilarious stories about her neighbors.

When I moved to Florida, having neighbors was new to me. I hadn't had neighbors in almost 20 years. We lived in Western Maryland for 12 years. The lots in our neighborhood were very large. I could look outside and see other houses, but it's not as if my neighbors would be out wandering around and cross through my yard. It was kind of nice that they were there, but I seldom had to deal with them (which ended up being a good thing because a number of moms had jealousy issues when The Hurricane experienced success in school).

After Maryland, we lived in the country in Illinois. It was pretty isolated. We saw people around in their pickup trucks (rural area, lots of farming going on), but we didn't actually have neighbors. I learned to do the farmer wave when I was out in my car, which means waving to everyone you see just in case it's someone you know. If it's someone you know and you don't wave, the person will be offended. 

Oh, and if you came across real farmers driving their pickup trucks, they didn't lift their hands to wave. Rather, they lifted one finger (and no, they weren't flipping us the bird; they lifted the index finger) from the steering wheel. The true farmer wave was a joke enjoyed by people who lived in the bustling metropolis of Springfield.

Then I moved to Florida, where I live in an actual neighborhood. I waved to everyone on my street. I said, What's wrong with these people? No one waves back.

Favorite Young Man said, Mom, people don't do that here.

Well, all righty then.

The lots in our neighborhood aren't very big so the houses are close together. At first I would look outside and think, Oh Dear Lord, I can see someone from the window! What shall I do?

But gradually, I got used to seeing creatures wandering around, including lots of feral cats and many dogs because my neighborhood is filled with dog lovers. And now, I LOVE MY NEIGHBORS! 

On one side of my house I have Kurt and Kitty, who are very quiet and seldom seen. Kitty is in a motorized wheel chair. I've spoken to her two or three times (her daughter Sandra said she's not very sociable). Just before Christmas 2010, Kurt came over and introduced himself and gave me fudge. I think it was homemade and OH MY GOODNESS it was so delicious. 

The first 18 months I was here, Sandra, her husband who has no discernible name, and their daughter Hannah lived with Kurt and Kitty. Sandra helped me so much with the dogs. Harper was going through his dig under the fence phase and that would take him to Kurt and Kitty's yard, and he would take off from there. Sandra started keeping their gate closed so if Harper went under the fence, he was stuck in their yard. Then Sandra would ring my door bell and say, Are you missing a dog?


I put paving bricks and concrete along the bottom of the fence to keep Harper home. Even though I didn't need Sandra's help anymore, I was sorry when she and Hannah and No Name moved out. Sandra was super nice and friendly.

Next to Kurt and Kitty is the stupendous Suzanne who took the dead dove out of my house when Harper brought it to me as an offering. I baked lots of chocolate chip cookies for Suzanne after that. She has two cute young children and yet another husband named No Name.

On the other side of my house, I have dear, sweet Allison and Anthony. They are so pleasant and friendly and tell me all the time that if I need anything to let them know. Well, just in case they end up requesting an invitation to this blog, I'm telling them what I want: Allison, I like you, but go away. I want Hot Young Anthony in my bed. Allison, you are young enough and pretty enough to find another  man. Demonstrate how neighborly you are, Allison, by disappearing and leaving Anthony with me.

I love it so much when Anthony takes his shirt off while working in his yard. What a cheap thrill. I like his slender body and very large muscles -- muscles that could be put to such good use in my bed. 

But the best part of all is that Anthony is so friendly. He's nice to my dogs. He goes out of his way to chat with me when we both happen to be outside (sometimes a coincidence planned on my part because I see him start some yard work and all  of a sudden I realize, I have to go someplace). So out I go and Anthony calls, Hello! How are you? 

Obviously, "Hello! How are you?" actually means, I want my wife to run away from home so I can love you and only you forever, Janie. Anthony and what's her name have a cute little dog. He could join my pack. I think Anthony would fit in me my house perfectly.

Hot, hot young Anthony. How I do adore thee.


I also have a number of other kind neighbors who, if they are at home, will hurry out to help if the dogs get out of the yard. I thank God for such good neighbors.

So now I'm accustomed to having neighbors and no one on my street is loud or nasty. I hope you can say the same. So please tell us


What kind of neighbors do you have? Also, have you had neighbors at any time who were especially strange or sweet? Please share your stories with us.

Later in the week I might tell you a bit more about neighbors I've had in other places.

Bon voyage.

Infinities of love,

Janie

P.S. Do you get the feeling from my description of Anthony that Lola is not completely dead and gone? I can channel her from time to time.