Gentle Readers,
I just found out that Anna Quindlen gave the commencement address last spring at Someone I Love's alma mater.
Anna, darling, WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU GIVE THE ADDRESS THE YEAR SOMEONE I LOVE GRADUATED? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? I HAD TO SIT THROUGH A SPEAKER SO BORING I THOUGHT I WOULD FUCKING DIE, AND NOW I'M GOING TO RUN THROUGH MY NEIGHBORHOOD NAKED AND SMASH WINDOWS, KNOCK OVER GARBAGE CANS, AND GENERALLY MAKE PEOPLE MISERABLE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN SOMEONE I LOVE GRADUATED.
Oh, I forgot. The neighbors won't even notice. I do that shit all the time.
Infinities of love,
Lola
My motto as an editor: Authors are the authority on their work. I'm a full-service editor. For a reasonable fee, I'm your writing coach from the first suggested revision to the correction of the final typo.
What a coincidence. Yesterday at Crown Books in West Hills, I picked up Quindlen's "Thinking Out Loud: On the Personal, the Political, the Public and the Private." I think I'm going to dig into this one later this week.
ReplyDeleteI don't even remember who spoke at my graduation in 1991!
ReplyDeleteWow! How crazy.
ReplyDeletequindlen was such a great columnist. i still have several of hers i plucked out of the times in me and my dad's stash of all-time favorite journalism.
ReplyDeleteYou do that all the time. Let me know the times and route. I'll get my lawn chair and a cooler of beer and some Kentucky Fried Chicken and sit on the side of the road and watch you go by. I will even use my chicken grease covered hands to choke my chicken when you do. And I though, being a Liberal and all, you would have preferred Pelosi to speak.
ReplyDeleteHave to admit never heard of her, so a bit out of the loop, guess my journalistic knowledge doesn't stretch that far..haha
ReplyDeleteCoffeypot, Being a liberal can't make me like Pelosi. I'm picky. Besides, Anna Quindlen is as liberal as it gets.
ReplyDeleteStephanie, I don't know who spoke at any of my graduations because the only one I attended was kindergarten and that was because my mother made me go. Graduations are boring unless one of my kids graduates or Anna Quindlen is speaking.
Elisa, Which part is crazy? That I run through the neighborhood naked and everybody is used to it? Try it. It's so liberating.
Rory, You must love Quindlen.
Ed, She's such a genius. Someone I Love and I adore her.
Pat, It's o.k. You live in Nova Scotia. That makes an excellent excuse for everything you don't know.
ReplyDeleteI just spewed tea on my monitor.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're happy Missy.
I'm sure you're just ducky naked. Didn't you just tell me you lost 15 pounds?
ReplyDeleteLife 101, My major goal in life is to make people spew tea on the monitors or snort milk out their noses.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Mrs. Tuna, I lost 15 1/2 pounds and intend to continue losing until I am me again. But no matter how much I weigh, I'll never stop my nekkid runs around the neighborhood. Everyone looks forward to them. They're placing bets on how many more inches my boobs will drop by the end of the year.
I chose a different path in life. I quit school, got a job, traveled, partied, did drugs, went wild, had a baby, got married and worked my way up to management and became a production improvement analyst. So I guess I didn't need a speaker or a graduation. I don't recommend this method to young folks but you can do it! Great post. My step daughter had Mr. Rogers!!
ReplyDelete