MEMENTO MORI

It was one year ago, during the afternoon, that you were forced to leave me forever.

It was the day after your thirteenth birthday.

It was your legs.

You fell and you fell

down
down
down

into a deep black hole.

You couldn't climb out.

Not ever again.

And I thought that I would die.

Instead, every day I have to wake up and live without you.

It's not as hard as it was at first.

But it's still not easy.

After you died, I found a tuft of your soft, white fur on the dog bed where you had to sleep because you couldn't get in my bed anymore. I snatched it up and felt its sweetness against my cheek and I put it in an envelope. Then I searched for more tufts of fur that were white, and the fur of other colors, that tended to fall out more as individual hairs that would then gather on the floor. And I filled the envelope with those bits of you that were left.

The fur is my memento mori, all that I have left now, except for your collar, hanging in the dining room with the tags intact, your name tag in the shape of a heart because you are my heart. You are everything that is the best of me.

I will love you every single day for the rest of my life until we can be together again.

My Faulkner, My Beauty. Teller of all I needed to know.

Wait for me, please.


It was the night after he died that I met my beloved LegalMist. You can also meet her at this link:        http://legalmist.blogspot.com/2011/07/gikc-1924-2011.html   God sends help in some form when we are most in need and that night he made LegalMist my angel. She discovered my blog that night and was writing comments on some posts. She had no idea that I was getting through the night by reading her comments on my cell phone, until I wrote back to her in the wee hours of the morning and told her what had happened. LegalMist may live very far away from me, but she is my home girl.