I had a bad reputation in high school. Supposedly I was a slut. I don't think I did nearly as much as a lot of girls. No sex till I was almost 18.
Have I told you this story before? I can't remember and I'm too tired and lazy to go back through my posts to look. Oh well, if you've seen this stuff before, then you can sit through it one more time, and if you haven't seen it, boy do I have a story for you.
I kind of liked to tease some boys and flirt with them, but I had one and only one serious (read sexual) relationship. However, by my senior year I could tell that rumors about me were getting out of control. Kids were saying some pretty nasty shit about me and to me. I was really confused.
And I was in high school when the double standard (boys are cool if they have sex but the girls who do it are nothing but sluts) was alive and well. I hope it's not as bad now. Why shouldn't a woman be able to enjoy sex without being tortured about it by other people?
Then after I graduated from high school and started college, I became pretty close friends with a very nice girl we'll call Schmoozeann. Schmoozeann had been pretty close friends with a girl from my high school we'll call Barrie, who supposedly was my best friend. It was Schmoozeann who finally told me that Barrie informed everyone that I was having an affair with a married man during senior year.
No wonder people freaking talked nasty about me! Not that it was any of their business, but I don't think much of men who cheat and it's not a good idea for women to grant them the opportunity. As one who has been cheated on, I can tell you that infidelity does not lead to anything good.
Barrie had pretty much disappeared after high school, but I was able to tell Schmoozeann what really happened.
It was Barrie who fucked a married man. Maybe telling people it was me helped ease her guilt, or maybe she liked the attention she received when she told her little tales.
Looking back on that time, however, I wish I had gone ahead and used my bad rep. I could have done the nasty with all sorts of good looking and interesting guys. No AIDS then. As long as we used birth control, very little to fear.
I could have gotten me some damn good sex and I missed the opportunity.
Shit! That's all I have to say: SHIT!
Infinities of love,