You won't believe what Mom did to me.
Just try to guess.
She took me to the booty shop.
She said I was dirty and I smelled like a dog. Well, I AM a dog. Does she think I'm gonna smell like a cat? Oh, man, that would be so gross.
The lady at the booty shop is nice. I've been there before. Her name is Candace and she tells me how sweet and bootiful I am.
But, the indignitaries I suffer when I'm there. First, Candace gives me a bath. I get wet and cold. But then she uses a big blow dryer to get the wet out of my fur, and she brushes me. Just when the bristles of the brush start to feel good and I think I might fall asleep, that's when the worst part happens.
Candace shaves the, the, I don't know if I can say it, I think I'm gonna cry, but I have to tell you everybuddy: Candace shaves the fur on MY BUTT!
Mom says the fur on my butt gets longer than the rest of my fur and little leaves and sticks and even some little bits of somebuddy's poop get stuck in it. It's embarrassing, but it's even more embarrassing when Candace makes me stand on a table in front of all the other dogs and I have to stick my butt up in the air and they all stare and I know they're laughing at me.
I was so glad when Mom came back to get me. But can you believe she actually pays Candace to do that to me? Mom could be using that money to buy chew toys and treats.
I say no more booty shop.
I wanna stay home every day and play with my brother Harper.
Thanks for listening to my troubles. Don't tell Mom I said so, but I still love her.
And I love you, everybuddy.
Franklin
Sooo funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks, but I'm afraid Franklin isn't amused.
DeleteYou are so cute Franklin! Mom does this because you are loved.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I know I'm cute. Everybody tells me all the time.
DeletePoor Franklin! Schultz likes the spa. Maybe Franklin should come with Schultz next time. He'll even get a pretty bandana!
ReplyDeleteFranklin probably wouldn't be happy going anyplace. He's a mama's boy.
DeleteIt looks like Franklin swallowed Harper's head. And now, Beau wants to talk to Franklin.
ReplyDelete"Psssssss. Frankie, it's me, Beau. When I go to the doggie groomer, they actually pinch my widdle pink poopie hole until this stuff squirts out. Then they say "Ewwwwwww".......well what do they think would pop out of THEIR poopie hole if it got pinched? Humans are idiots....except for my mom and dad. THey don't know this stuff happens to me at the groomer's."
Hi, Beau. Nobody ever squeezed my poopie hole. I really feel for ya, dude.
DeleteAnd now here's Mom: Franklin's mouth isn't quite big enough to swallow Harper's head. Those two have had a bromance going on since the day Franklin arrived. Harper is 10. Young Franklin tugs on Harper and keeps him playing. I bet Harper will live longer because of Franklin.
Franklin, dude, be glad you didn't get a Brazilian Wax Job. And, truthfully, I bet your butt feels better and fresher now with the trim. And quieter, too. When you fart the butt-hairs won't flap in the breeze. I just wish I had a nice lady to trim my butt hairs. Judy won't touch'em.
ReplyDeleteHi, Mr. Pot! Mom pays Candace to take care of my butt. Maybe if you gave Judy money she would help with your butt hairs.
DeleteFranklin,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young my family adopted a golden retriever (a product of a divorce) and all kinds of things were hanging off that dog's butt fur. You're not the only one.
Xoxo
Loonysuse
Well, I guess that's good to know Miss Loony.
DeleteHi, Frankie! Nobody ever shaves my butt hairs--do you suppose that's because I'm a people?
ReplyDeleteI think it's because Bud doesn't take you to Candace.
DeleteI think you'd be happier if the shop was less 'beauty' and more 'booty'. It's okay.. I'll let Mom know, we'll see what we can do. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Miss Juli. All you blogger buddies are so nice, I'm starting to wag my tail again.
DeleteFranklin, I'm glad you still love Mama. And from what I can see you look fine with a shaved butt.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mr. Chubby.
DeleteAfter Buck would get groomed, his favorite thing to do was roll in the first disgusting thing he could find in our yard after we got home.
ReplyDeleteWe had a poodle when I was growing up. He always found poop to roll in after he was groomed. Silly puppies.
DeleteFranklin ...don't feel embarrassed ...my poor cat Percy has to go thru the same thing...but you know your momma loves you
ReplyDeleteOh Franklin what a terrible experience for you but you know mummy does what she things is best and lets be honest you don't want things stuck to you butt do you.......
ReplyDeleteBut come on now, Franklin -- doesn't that booty feel great!
ReplyDelete