WHO IS MAXWELL DUMPED FIRST WIFE?

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell Dumped First Wife,

Yesterday I wrote a post about search terms currently used by weird and creepy interesting people in order to find my blog. If you are one of the losers who missed the post, you can see it here.

One of the search terms questions the identity of Maxwell Dumped First Wife. I responded that Dumped First Wife is not Maxwell's last name.

Then the great Maxwell himself made the following hilarious comment:

I think I shall adopt that as my new name, then start a business where I specialize in informing women they are about to be divorced in over-the-top ways. Like hire a marching band to walk down her street and play the song "Tequila" really loudly at 6am and then run up to her door and, when it comes time for the music to stop and me shout the word "tequila," I instead shout "you're divorced!" and hand her the divorce papers.

Videotaping it to put on YouTube will be extra. Though recommended.


That's my darling Maxwell. How can I help but love him?


However, then I received another comment from beloved new reader Alessandra, whose bloghouse is at  http://alexsblogginglife.blogspot.com/, and if you don't follow her you should. This was her question:


SInce I'm relatively new to your blog, you must illuminate me, is Maxwell your ex? Are you still on good terms with him? I'm assuming so since he posted on your blog.


Yes, darling. Maxwell is my ex, or at least one of them. He was the fourth of my six husbands. Or was he the third? I simply cannot remember.


Ah, Alex, I jest with you. I darn near rolled on the floor laughing when you asked if I'm on good terms with Dr. X. 

Then I called all my friends so they could laugh, too.

After that, I did the chicken dance.

Alex, do you get the impression that maybe Dr. X and I are not friends?

We'll say no more.

Instead, I'll explain about Maxwell. Maxwell and I have followed each other for quite sometime now, but he isn't blogging lately. He's too busy getting laid working. He moved in with Girlfriend. But if you'd like to see Maxwell's blog, he's at . . . wait just a minute . . . 

Maxwell WAS at Misanthropy Chronicles, which has been removed. And that darn Maxwell didn't even tell me he'd taken away his blog. I'm not too terribly surprised, though. I knew that, in his heart, Maxwell was never really a misanthrope.

But back when he pretended to be our resident curmudgeon, he told me he didn't like being called a gentle reader. So the salutation on my blog became what it is now: Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell.

Recently, Maxwell told me he no longer needed his own separate greeting because he wasn't as feisty as he used to be. That's what a happy home life and not being so damn horny will do for a man. 

I tried to write the salutation without the "and Maxwell," and discovered that it made me uncomfortable. I've gotten used to recognizing my dear Maxwell in our own special way. Maxwell's misanthropy always made me smile, and when he comments on my blog, it makes my day. In reality, Maxwell is a very nice young man who is madly in love with Girlfriend. I believe they will marry one of these days. I hope I get invited to the wedding so I can send a very expensive gift.

Stay in love, Maxwell. It does you good.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug