Monday, July 30, 2012

OLYMPICS WHAT? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

We interrupt this regularly scheduled What? Monday post to discuss what's happened so far at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

What did you think of the opening ceremony?

I liked parts of the opening, particularly Mr. Bean, but I could have done with some great British rock bands, like The Stones. And when Mary Poppins defeated Voldemort, I wanted Julie Andrews herself to fly in and beat the crap out of Ralph Fiennes. I mean smack him in the balls with her brolly.

The corgis were my favorite part, but the Queen parachuting in? Blah. Silly. I think the helicopter should have landed on the field and she could have stepped out and declared the games open and done it in a voice with some authority that communicated I AM QUEEN AND I CAN GO TO A TWENTY-HOUR CEREMONY WITHOUT EVER NEEDING TO PEE.
Do you think she has a lady-in-waiting to give her a royal chin-hair plucking each morning?
Don't you think Queen Elizabeth just looked and sounded bored? And maybe constipated? Prince Philip, on the other hand, looked so happy I think he had been well drugged to keep him quiet and smiling so he wouldn't make one of his stupid comments.

As for the lighting of the cauldron, William and Kate should have shared a kiss that would have set the entire stadium on fire.

I admit I was a bit moved that they dug up Paul McCartney and he managed to spit the dirt out of his mouth to get through "Hey Jude." (Joke stolen from Fran at http://ilurveenglish.blogspot.com/.)
To me, the weirdest part of the opening ceremony was the tribute to the National Health Service with "sick" children jumping on their beds, surrounded by nurses, and then the nurses all got together and delivered the creepiest baby ever.

I watched the games for a bit on Saturday and got so excited when the men's eight won their rowing heat so they could go to the finals that the dogs got a bit upset and gathered round me with those concerned looks dogs are so good at getting.


Remember my boys? This photo was taken where The Hurricane trains.

I'm pretty excited about tomorrow because they've finally added dogs' water sports.
Michael Phelps may have come in fourth in his first race, but I bet he'll be in the lead during the weed smoking competition.
Personally, I tried out for the men's Dream Team, but they said my hand job with balls wasn't quite good enough. I guess I'll just have to relax and watch the games. Or maybe I'll dance!

Infinities of love,


Lola



23 comments:

  1. You're too funny, I loved the MIchael Phelps joke. I watched the opening ceremony too, my favorite part were the dogs and Daniel Craig. I missed sir Paul, I thought the whole thing was a little too long, though I liked the reenactments. :)

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    1. It was pretty darn long. I recorded it so I could zip through the commercials and the entries of most of the countries.

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  2. OK, That cracked me up. I'd actually watch if it were any where near as entertaining as this post!

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    1. Bits of it were entertaining. Mr. Bean playing with the London Symphony Orchestra on Chariots of Fire was a riot.

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  3. you know, i still havent had the chance to watch the re-run due to the time difference and all. but the swimming events look interesting with the chinese swimmer making headlines.

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    1. I've been so busy that I haven't watched since I saw the U.S. men's rowing team and the women's volleyball team on Saturday. I don't even know what's going on or who's winning medals.

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  4. Have the Olympics started yet? I would like to know so I can enjoy not watching them.

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    1. Be happy, Coffey. You're not missing anything as far as I can tell. I'll let you know if anything happens.

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  5. I must be one of the few not watching, I guess. You make it sound more interesting than it actually is--ROFL! Don't pick on Paul, though. I still love those Beatles...well, the two that are left. ;)

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    1. Hey, I openly admitted that I stole that joke from Fran. It's her fault.

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    2. Person At Fault speaking. I love the Beatles too. But not so much that I can't spot a singing corpse when I see one.

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    3. Fran, You are too funny. I'm jealous.

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  6. LOL, I've just watched clips of the opening...so far I've managed to avoid the rest!

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    1. It just gets to be too much, doesn't it?

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  7. I haven't been able to watch the Olympics yet but I LOVED this post!!

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    1. Thank you very much, my dear fishducky.

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  8. LOL< great post! :-) Thanks I needed a laugh!

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    1. Then I'm very happy I could give you what you needed.

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  9. Darn, I missed the opening ceremonies. Yeah, the queen does look a wee bit constipated. LOL!

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    1. I think it's becoming a "regular" problem for her.

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  10. Finally! You put a photo of yourself on your blog. The fact you called yourself the "queen" only added to the grin on my face.

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  11. You #*$%@! I am the Queen of Grammar, not the Queen of Constipation.

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  12. I didn't see the opening ceremony I was out doing stuff.......I would have liked to have seen it and when I hear about other people watching it I feel a little annoyed that I was to busy to watch it and didn't think to record it like my brother did..........

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