Friday, May 23, 2014

JANIE JUNEBUG & WILLY DUNNE WOOTERS WORK IN THE YARD

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Last weekend I asked Willy Dunne Wooters if he would help me with some yard work. I have big pots on the concrete below my deck that mostly have dead stuff or grass growing in them. I proposed that we dump out the dead stuff and the dirt where the swamp is at its worst in the backyard, and put potting soil and new plants in the pots.

We had to go to Lowe's first to buy potting soil and plants and weed killer.

Here's what I looked like before we went to Lowe's:


Yes, I dress like that to go to Lowe's.  You wanna make something of it?

Here's what Willy Dunne Wooters looked like before we went to Lowe's:


Yeah, that's pretty much what he always looks like.

So we went to Lowe's and I remembered I needed a flashlight so I got one. Then we found potting soil and a couple of plants on sale. I said, I'm going to get some weedkiller.

And I walked away.

Big mistake.

I found the weedkiller and couldn't find Willy Dunne Wooters. I called his phone and got voice mail. I sent him an email.

No response.

So I sat down in a nice patio chair with the weedkiller.

After about 15 minutes, WDW came along from a completely different direction than the one I'd left him in. I thought you left without me, I said. I've been sitting here waiting for you to find me and you didn't answer your telephone, I said.

My telephone is in the car, WDW said. And if you're not moving and I don't go in the right direction, then I'm never going to find you, he said.

We paid for the stuff and went back to my house. WDW carried all the heavy stuff to the backyard.

We changed our clothes so we could work in the yard. I looked like this:


Willy Dunne Wooters looked like this:





We tried to move the pots to the yard so we could dump out the dirt and stuff. I rolled a pot, and it cracked and dirt spilled out all over the concrete. Willy Dunne Wooters tried to lift a pot, said "uuuuuunnnnngggggggghhhhhh", and put it back down. We finally pushed a couple of pots into the yard.

Then we did our thing of dumping and refilling.

We finished, and I said, We were not meant to do this kind of work.

WW: Yeah.

JJ: We were meant to sit at computers and tippety-tap away.

WW: That's right.

JJ: If we were migrant workers, they wouldn't even give us the 50 cents a day. We'd only get 25 cents.

WDW: No, they'd fire us and wouldn't pay us anything.

JJ: Yeah, you're right.

WDW: People like us are the reason America needs migrant workers.

JJ: Let's get a drink and sit on the deck.

So we got some water and sat in the wrought-iron chairs.

I looked like this:



Willy Dunne Wooters looked like this:



I don't think we should work in the yard again. But after we got cleaned up, we looked like this:





Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug













50 comments:

  1. Hi Janie .. as long as the end result was clean and happy .. what more could you want! Sorry about the runner's knees .. happy weekend - Hlary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we'll try to remain clean and happy from now on.

      Delete
  2. Hello, dear Janie Junebug! I always appreciate seeing the latest pictures of you, my special friend. (#1 is my favorite.) If you and WDW went to Lowe's looking like that then surely the store surveillance footage has already been dubbed to the "goodie reel" to be played at the company Christmas party. I predict the tape will also go viral on YouTube. You clean up good, girl!

    I totally agree that you and WDW are not cut out to toil in the hot Florida sun, lift heavy pots and wind up covered in blood, sweat and tears. You are much better suited for hauling ashes, a more pleasant task all things considered. I suggest you get right to it this weekend.

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  3. Yard work is for grandkids only.Otherwise, hire it out or ignore it. Hope you have recovered for the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've recovered, but I don't know about WDW.

      Delete
  4. You need to stay cleaned up. You look so much better that way.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I didn't know I was still capable of an involuntary laugh and snort, but now I know I am as I just did it reading this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I snort, snot shoots out my nose.

      Delete
  6. My hubs and I did the yard work this week. No pots were broken in our efforts, but my back still aches.

    ReplyDelete
  7. But how does Hot Young Anthony look when he's doing yardwork? Maybe you can hire him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hot Young Anthony always looks hot. He doesn't have time to be my cabana boy.

      Delete
  8. I suggest you keep each in sight at all times... so neither one gets lost.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe we should tie a rope around our waists so we can't move too far from each other.

      Delete
  9. I live in an apartment in Arizona. The cacti take pretty good care of themselves and the lawn guy do a pretty good job of keeping the rocks where they are supposed to be. I do need to ask somebody why I hear a lawn mower around once a week, at 8 in the morning, when there isn't any grass around here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please investigate the lawn mower problem and get back to us.

      Delete
  10. You and WDW would make awful communists! Marx's ideal was that men should work in the fields in the morning, do a different job in the afternoon, write poetry in the evening (the tippety-tap thing), and be a political critic after dinner. No specialization allowed.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, take me out to the ball game. I can't dance either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Favorite Young Man can dance, but most of the time he won't. If he dances, everyone else stops to watch him. I'm so jealous.

      Delete
  12. Love the before and after pics. Fun post. Take it easy.

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  13. I really hate to get hot, sweaty, and dirty. However, it takes less toil to get me hot, sweaty, and dirty now than it did a few years ago. And, walking ten yards sends me to bed. I have fallen on my face and ended up bloody, but not from hard work. How did you do that?

    Good job on getting all that done. If you have a swamp, start putting leaves and small twigs there. It will help mitigate the problem. Soon it will be nice dirt. Maybe you need a French swale.

    I really really really hate it when a guy just disappears in a store, And, I hate it when he leaves the cell phone in the car and disappears. Yeah, tie yourselves together with a rope. That will work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I started the leaves in the swamp thing last winter when my tree finally lost its leaves. They had to go someplace, and I figured, why throw them out? What's a French swale? I will get a rope for the store, or maybe I will put a leash on WDW. He's protest, though.

      Delete
    2. HE'D protest, though. Terrible stupid error.

      Delete
  14. Why can't men STAY.WITH.THE.CART!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's in their DNA. They have to wander. The more extreme version is when they have affairs.

      Delete
  15. SOOOO cute. This is why I don't get involved in yard work. I just say, "I'm going grocery shopping now" and it gets me out of it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I went grocery shopping, then nothing would get done at home.

      Delete
  16. Yard work is never ending and full of hazards

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  17. I don't have a helper for yard work, so I do very little. The yard crew shows up very Friday and I love the way it looks when they are finished. I am kind of glad my husband doesn't do yard work because then I'd feel obligated to help, and I really don't like the work part very much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a yard guy, but he doesn't do stuff like re-potting plants.

      Delete
  18. What a difference a day (and a bit of work) makes.

    You are a fine pair.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yard work can really mess you up! Glad things are back to normal for the two of you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Normal? I guess normal is what's normal for us, but most people would never think of us as normal.

      Delete
  20. LOL! Make sure WDW has his cell phone with him next time. Silly boy! ;)
    Glad you survived the yard work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've learned that he almost always leaves it in the car and doesn't always lock the car.

      Delete
  21. Great. We're out to do yard work today. I can't wait to see what WE look like when we're finished.

    -andi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll look perfect because you know what you're doing.

      Delete
  22. I find this post strangely arousing. Also my neighbor's breath is a perfect weedkiller.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmmmkay. Please send me a bottle of the neighbor's breath. Normal weed killer isn't working. My weeds are threatening to turn into weed trees.

      Delete
  23. ~Snort laughter~ at Blue Grumpster's fascinating comment. I love your humor too.

    I believe in letting my two roommates do all of the yardwork around here. I stand true to my beliefs - consistently, proudly and without deviation.

    ReplyDelete

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