Friday, May 30, 2014

APPARENTLY, I AM A VERSATILE BLOGGER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Stephanie Neighbour has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger award, which means I have won the versatile blogger award, according to the versatile blogger award Web site, which you can find HERE.


I'm supposed to nominate 15 bloggers I've discovered recently or follow regularly for the versatile blogger award, which means you are a wiener if you find the address of your blog below this paragraph. Here's where it goes haywire. I don't think anyone ever accepts an award I've passed on. Oh, well. I'll try anyway. After I nominate you 15 who can't be bothered, then I'm supposed to tell Stephanie Neighbour seven lies interesting facts a buncha bullshit things about myself. You are welcome to stick around for the seven lies interesting facts a buncha bullshit things about myself.

Okey-dokey. Whom shall I harass this time?


  1. http://1makingadifference.blogspot.com/
  2. http://thestephanieconnection.blogspot.com/
  3. http://crystalcollier.blogspot.com/
  4. http://shadydell.blogspot.com/
  5. http://bmariede.blogspot.com/ V
  6. http://delusionsofingenuity.blogspot.com/
  7. http://ilovetoreadyourbooks.blogspot.com/
  8. http://eseckman.blogspot.com/
  9. http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com/
  10. http://www.justinappropriate.com/
  11. http://shellysm.blogspot.com/
  12. http://nickielson.blogspot.com/
  13. http://www.skanthony.com/
  14. http://quillfeather-blog.blogspot.com/
  15. http://when-a-lion-sleeps.blogspot.com/
I betcha a dollar that not one of these bloggers will accept this award.

Well, maybe Rachel at When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep (#15) will accept it because she's my buddy. So I betcha 75 cents. But maybe Shelley and Sir Shady and Vebbie and a couple other people will accept it, so the bet is off.

Now I have to think of seven things about moi to tell Stephanie Neighbour:


  1. Wednesday night I went to my neighborhood restaurant to have dinner, and it was closed, as in everything is dark and all the signs are gone and the people who work there have probably been selected to go on a little visit with some aliens. I am bereft, utterly bereft. I met Willy Dunne Wooters for the first time in that restaurant. I went to a different restaurant for dinner and my food and drink were utterly tasteless. Then I got home and found out Maya Angelou had died and I felt as if the bottom had dropped out of my world, especially because Willy Dunne Wooters has to work extra this week and he'll have to work over the weekend so I might not see him for another week or so. I texted Favorite Young Man about Maya and about the restaurant. He was sad about Maya, too. He asked if I was sure the restaurant was closed because they're always so busy at breakfast time and maybe they just aren't open evenings now and I told him I'd gone to their Web site and next to hours it says "Now Closed". I am bereft, utterly bereft. Where will I go in my neighborhood when I want a nice, inexpensive little meal, in a place where everyone says Hey, Janie, when I walk in, and I can sit and read a book while I eat? I remain bereft and without a clue. I am concerned about the servers, too, because I think they got dumped with little to no notice. I always befriend the servers where I eat. When I broke my back, the only person who called me to find out where I was and what was wrong was a server at my favorite restaurant (in Illinois).
  2. Although I have dogs, I am cat-like in much of my behavior. I sleep for about 20 hours a day. When I wake up, I alternate between organizing stuff, kind of like a cat pushing around poop in a litter box; eating; rubbing up against Willy Dunne Wooters when he's here; and playing with a piece of string or some bubble wrap. I am easily entertained and a cheap date.
  3. I majored in English. I'm not sure how I became a newspaper reporter. I went to a job interview and the executive editor asked where I had gotten my training in journalism. I said that I didn't have training in journalism, that I only took a Journalism 101 class. She said, Then where did you get your training in writing? I told her I went to Shepherd University. She held up a special issue of a small newspaper where I was the managing editor and asked, Did you do this? I said yes. They hired me. Those people were nuts. I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe that was the key to my popularity with the public.
  4. Now that we're on the subject of popularity, I was never popular while I was growing up, and I didn't have a lot of friends during the early years of our marriage. We always had to move because X screwed up at something or got mad at somebody at work and he'd quit his job. Every time we moved, I lost my friends. Then I finally went back to college, and it was weird because everybody except this one jerk named Kevin seemed to like me. I always sat in the same place in Dr. C's class. The other students told me they knew where to sit based on my seat because the world is Janiecentric. Dr. C told me that he always saved my essays to read last because they made him feel he'd accomplished something as a teacher. At most of the jobs I had, if they had taken a vote for Miss Congeniality, I think I would have won. I get to be popular without every doing the rah-rah cheerleader thing. It's fun to be popular. I just read what I wrote in this paragraph, and it makes me feel good.
  5. Recently, I fell in love with the TV show Nurse Jackie. I don't have Showtime so I'm getting it on DVDs from Netfix. I think it's wonderfully funny because it's so real. At the beginning of the first episode, Jackie says something to the effect of What do you call a nurse with a bad back? She answers herself: Unemployed. Jackie doesn't have any problem with bending or breaking rules if it will help her patients. I used to steal stuff out of the supply closet when I knew patients couldn't afford to buy something. Occasionally I ignored positive drug tests because what difference does it make if somebody who can't get any other job is working as a housekeeper in a hotel and she smokes some pot? Jackie and I are addicts, too.
  6. Um, er, hmmm, snrt. Oh, I know! I'm editing a book for someone. A certain blogger recommended me for the job and apparently told the writer that I am "a scream". I usually only think I'm funny when I'm with my kids so I laugh at my own jokes until I'm about ready to fall down or pee my pants and they just shake their heads and say, We know you think you're funny, Mom, but you are so not funny. What kind of a bug do they have up their asses? How can they be my kids and not think I'm funny? Well, it's okay because Middle Child thinks I'm funny, and fishducky says that her daughter doesn't think she's funny and everybody knows that fishducky is hilarious. 
  7. I have a new family member, and that's all I'm going to say about that for now.

Thank you, Stephanie Neighbour, for the award. I likes you a whole big bunch, and you is my friend.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

68 comments:

  1. I will gladly accept this award with massive smiles and happiness! Partially because I am your buddy, but also because I like when people say I'm good at things. Also, I like the ability to say, "I am an award winning blogger". How badass does that make me sound? You are too though, clearly, since you nominated me (and because you have to be badass and awesome to handle being my friend).

    Congrats on your award! You honestly do deserve it and it was cool learning all those facts about you. Now, I'm going to find some food, because my stomach just growled. I might sleep after that. I'm a little more sane when I'm not so tired.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad I didn't bet that dollar.

      Delete
  2. Ha! In your face, Janie! I accept. ;)

    I would love to have the cat's life, so I'm jealous of you and cats. Miss Congeniality, for sure . . . a very funny Miss Congeniality, to be exact.

    Thanks for the award!
    (It will be a couple weeks because of schedule & vacation, but it will be done.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fortunately, I don't look like a cat and I'm not the size of a cat so Harper doesn't attack me. Harper is a cat hater.

      Delete
  3. My daughter, middle child, used to sort of snort in derision. Then, I would remind her that she was just like me. Then, she thought I was funny--really funny and crazy funny because I thought we were alike. We are.

    I hate some business closed without any notice. That happened to me once, and I was just climbing out of poverty. Of course, I just slid right back down!

    I keep feeling sorry for people and edit books with "I will pay you something when I publish it." The book publishes and, "But, I did not make enough to pay you."

    I have gotten hard now and just don't work for verbal promises. I even yelled at a guy who then signed a contract giving me 50% of book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just charge a bit to edit a book. People have been very good about sending me money. I'm fortunate because I'm a kept woman and I'm not dependent on the income from editing.

      Delete
  4. I think you're funny, Janie Junebug, and you are indeed a versatile blogger and richly deserve this award. I feel your strong gravitational pull and, like many others, I am happy to be in orbit around you. Thank you for thinking of me and considering me worthy of this award. I proudly accept it and am already displaying the emblem on my blog. Having the Janie Junebug seal of approval is an honor and I will always remember your kindness. Congratulations, Janie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sir Shady. I think you're funny, too.

      Delete
  5. Sorry to hear that the Cheers to your Norm left without warning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wondered if anyone would get that.

      Delete
  6. New family member??! How mysterious. (I'm totally catlike as well. Especially because most people can't touch me, but I lay all over Boyfriend when he comes over)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am such a mysterious woman. I might not even be a woman, but don't tell Willy Dunne Wooters.

      Delete
  7. I had to take freshman English three times before I passed. Had I realized I would become a writer, I would have paid attention.
    I'm not sure I realized you were a reporter. Maybe I did but my brain is so full that in order for new information to be stored, something must go to make room for the new information.
    ......has anyone seen my car keys?

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1. I like drive thru people these days. Witty and bright.
    3. Sounds like Skeeter in The Help.
    5. Nurse Jackie is possibly my fave show ever. Love the entire cast. Especially Mrs. Akalitis. (sp?)
    6. Kid told me this week: When you're the only one laughing at your jokes, they are not funny. Little Shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Mrs. Akalitis, and I'm not sure how to spell it either. I thought she was nasty until she found the baby and took care of him. I loved it when she danced with him in her office. That kid is definitely a little shit. My kids are sometimes big shits. If I were Skeeter, then I would be a whole lot more successful.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Thank you. I wanted to give the award to you, but I knew you wouldn't accept it.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for not thinking of me. Dead Serious. ;-)

      Delete
    3. It's not that I didn't think of you. I thought, Susie won't want this.

      Delete
  10. HI, Janie,

    Congrats on the award! I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel about your favorite place to hang closes!

    I live in Lincoln Park in Chicago and when I first moved here ten years ago there was the cutest little diner. I ate there every day for breakfast and sometimes lunch. The food was amazing and super reasonable. The servers were fantastic and quickly became my friends. I'd hang in there for hours. Such fun! When my kitchen was being remodeled it took like six months, so I LIVED at this diner.

    THEN... DA..DA..DA...DA....... The owner sold the place. NOOOO. Only one of my fav. servers stayed. THEN it changed hands again and she was gone too. After six years I had not place. Now a chain place, YOLK moved in. SO not the same vibe. I hate it.

    Before this catastrophe, my B&N moved out and Borders closed it's doors. Now my neighbor is so not the same. I hope to get out of here soon.....

    Congrats to the other winners. I HOPE they accept the award.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A number of new businesses suddenly opened up in my neighborhood. Yoga Zensations lasted only a few months. My restaurant had been there a few years, so finding it dark and empty was shocking. I wonder what will close next. I like Chicago. The Hurricane's first choice for college was The University of Chicago, but they didn't give her a scholarship so she went to Grinnell in Iowa. Then for grad school, Chicago was her second choice, but she didn't like the department head so she went to Berkeley. She's quite happy at Berkeley. She would have been very cold in Chicago. I think she was ready to get out of the Midwest.

      Delete
  11. I think I'm in shock that you accepted this award and answered the questions! I liked reading your answers. Now I want to hear about this new family member. Baby or in-law? (Or spouse?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm never ever getting married again. A baby would be nice.

      Delete
  12. 1. You have the worst luck with neighborhood restaurants. Or they do. Or something.

    7. Cool. Another dog? That'd be great. Or a human? That, not necessarily....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Edgewood Bakery eventually re-opened its kitchen for breakfast and lunch. The food was bad, and the service was worse. Favorite Young Man told me recently that it's been sold, which is shocking because I think the other people owned it for 30 years. Maybe they figured they'd better get out while the getting was good. No more dogs. Franklin and Harper and I are quite happy together.

      Delete
  13. I would say that you are indeed a Versatile Blogger. And funny.

    I would also like to thank you for including me. Most kind. However, yep you got it right, I probably won't be blogging about myself anytime soon. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the shout-out.

    Nice to get to know you further, Janie. Interesting post.

    Oh, and congrats :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! I wondered: should I give this to Wendy? Is there any chance she'll accept it? I thought there was a chance, and I was wrong; but thank you.

      Delete
    2. Heheheheh. My devious scheme succeeded. Do you feel bad enough to accept the award? I get 10 points if you do.

      Delete
    3. Hmm ... I shall think about it.

      Delete
    4. I was kidding. I don't get any make-believe points, and you have no reason to feel bad. I don't always accept these things, and when I do, I enjoy it because I want to see if anyone notices the lies I tell.

      Delete
    5. Case closed. Wendy is off the hook.

      Delete
  14. You're damn straight Vebbie will accept! Though my 7 things will not be nearly as interesting or entertaining as yours...and it might take me a couple o' weeks to get it posted. But if you are okay with those things, the award is MINE.

    And I haven't forgotten about the bully post...perhaps I'll get to it this weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glory hallelujah, Veb. I always "invent" (lie is such an unpleasant word) some of my facts to see if anyone will notice. You can be an inventor, too. You have one month in which to complete your bullying post, and it can be fiction if you want, or fictionalized.

      Delete
    2. P.S. I'm very sorry that your restaurant closed...unless of course that was an "invented" part...

      Delete
    3. I wish that were an invented part. I've been abandoned yet again.

      Delete
  15. I hereby dub your answers the Magnificent Seven. (Hmm, that seems to ring a bell... HA!) Really. Great answers. You rock, kiddo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love rock and roll. Put another dime in the jukebox, baby. Are there jukeboxes anymore?

      Delete
  16. I always enjoy your posts and can't think of a better recipient for this award. I'm also glad to see that at least one person is accepting it from you. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least two. I didn't give it to you because I knew you wouldn't accept it.

      Delete
  17. Sorry about your restaurant, Norm. :(
    Nurse Jackie is a great show with great characters.
    New family member?????!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I emailed you about the family member. I really don't know what I'll do without my restaurant. I could always afford a meal there and it's very, very close to my house and you know that's important.

      Delete
  18. Even though this is not the first award I was not nominated for, I am gracious enough to accept it anyway. Here (https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5747223283051967693#editor/target=post;postID=5220835295259016611;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=64;src=link) are some facts about my life. I think you're funny, too!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew better than to nominate you for the award. You'd probably slap me and yell, What makes you think I'd accept a stupid award that doesn't come with at least a million dollars in prize money? I can't go to the link. I keep getting a message that says my account doesn't allow me to go there. Is it porn?

      Delete
  19. Congrats!! And sorry about the restaurant. That sucks... I know... it's happened to me before.

    And I'm not gonna lie... kinda glad you didn't give it to me. I have several posts in my head, but as of the last few months I can't seem to get them on paper. Um... screen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew you wouldn't have time for an award. Besides, you win awards in my mind every time you post. The restaurant thing has now happened to me TWICE in my neighborhood.

      Delete
  20. So I am a versatile blogger who would had thought, I knew you were but me that does come as a bit of shock

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're a versatile blogger because you're a versatile person. You do so much for your family.

      Delete
  21. Versatile Blogger award? I haven't seen this one in ages. That isn't to detract from your utmost worthiness of receiving the award. All the awards go to Janie!
    Wait, you were a nurse too? A journalist/nurse/editor? A Journurtor?
    I lament your loss of restaurant. The last good Mexican food restaurant next to my work closed. Which will be good for my wallet, but bad for my well-being.
    Have fun editing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I prefer the simple title of The Queen of Grammar. I'm not a nurse. I was a medical assistant.

      Delete
  22. It's not EXACTLY porn--it's my post of 12/21/13--"I HOPE I HAD A GOOD TIME"

    ReplyDelete
  23. I remember that post. I wonder why gmail or blogger or some alien won't let me click on the link.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Maybe you should offer Wendy a dollar? :)

    TWICE? That really sucks. :( Almost as much as FIshducky's link not going to porn...

    HA!! I kid... I kid... Must be the pain meds kicking in...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pain meds? You should not bring up pain meds unless you're going to share.

      Delete
  25. OK Janie, I quit accepting awards quite awhile ago. I will make an exception this time and I will accept. Thank you!

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's very nice of you, Beth. I look forward to learning more about you.

      Delete
  26. Janie, you are one bright and funny woman! I am sorry to have worried you and others and an apology will appear on my blog tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to apologize, Inger. Be glad that people care about you and your husband.

      Delete
  27. Hey Janie,

    Oh yeah, yay to blog awards! Nothing like a bulging trophy cabinet of blogging awards. Did that sound right?

    Congrats on being versatile. I'm a multitasking dude. Yes, it's true. I can drink a cup of coffee and think about sex every seven seconds, all at the same time.

    Your responses in giving out such facts about your illustrious self were the epitome of hilarity. I also note that those you forwarding on the award to, yes those lucky, lucky people are adoring fans of mine. Okay, they are adoring fans of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

    I'm outta' here.....

    Gary.......................

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a multi-tasker, too, which can lead to problems with Willy Dunne Wooters. When we watch a movie or TV show, he wants me to sit still and be quiet and just watch. That's difficult for me. I want to chat about what's happening in the show or get a snack or cut my toenails.

      Delete
  28. In your second paragraph--I think there's a typo. I only mention it because it cracked me up. You wrote, "which means you are a wiener if you find the address of your blog below this paragraph." Did you mean to say, "which means you are a WINNER?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't know me very well yet. Wiener is intentional, and I'm glad it made you laugh.

      Delete
  29. Thank you, my friend!!! I am truly honored. You are truly deserving. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your facts. I don't know if I can come up with anything half as interesting, but I shall try!

    ReplyDelete
  30. A new family member,... Tell me more.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You are absolutely a versatile blogger, and funny as hell. I always enjoy reading your posts, tips, and grammar rules. I am also a huge Nurse Jackie fan, which reminds me that I have some episodes to catch up on. :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Versatile is good.

    Actually versatile is great!

    It's hand when you're a wiener OR a winner!

    Happy Wednesday!

    ReplyDelete

Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.