APPARENTLY, I AM A VERSATILE BLOGGER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Stephanie Neighbour has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger award, which means I have won the versatile blogger award, according to the versatile blogger award Web site, which you can find HERE.

I'm supposed to nominate 15 bloggers I've discovered recently or follow regularly for the versatile blogger award, which means you are a wiener if you find the address of your blog below this paragraph. Here's where it goes haywire. I don't think anyone ever accepts an award I've passed on. Oh, well. I'll try anyway. After I nominate you 15 who can't be bothered, then I'm supposed to tell Stephanie Neighbour seven lies interesting facts a buncha bullshit things about myself. You are welcome to stick around for the seven lies interesting facts a buncha bullshit things about myself.

Okey-dokey. Whom shall I harass this time?

1. http://1makingadifference.blogspot.com/
2. http://thestephanieconnection.blogspot.com/
3. http://crystalcollier.blogspot.com/
4. http://shadydell.blogspot.com/
5. http://bmariede.blogspot.com/ V
6. http://delusionsofingenuity.blogspot.com/
7. http://ilovetoreadyourbooks.blogspot.com/
8. http://eseckman.blogspot.com/
9. http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com/
10. http://www.justinappropriate.com/
11. http://shellysm.blogspot.com/
12. http://nickielson.blogspot.com/
13. http://www.skanthony.com/
14. http://quillfeather-blog.blogspot.com/
15. http://when-a-lion-sleeps.blogspot.com/

I betcha a dollar that not one of these bloggers will accept this award.

Well, maybe Rachel at When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep (#15) will accept it because she's my buddy. So I betcha 75 cents. But maybe Shelley and Sir Shady and Vebbie and a couple other people will accept it, so the bet is off.

Now I have to think of seven things about moi to tell Stephanie Neighbour:

1. Wednesday night I went to my neighborhood restaurant to have dinner, and it was closed, as in everything is dark and all the signs are gone and the people who work there have probably been selected to go on a little visit with some aliens. I am bereft, utterly bereft. I met Willy Dunne Wooters for the first time in that restaurant. I went to a different restaurant for dinner and my food and drink were utterly tasteless. Then I got home and found out Maya Angelou had died and I felt as if the bottom had dropped out of my world, especially because Willy Dunne Wooters has to work extra this week and he'll have to work over the weekend so I might not see him for another week or so. I texted Favorite Young Man about Maya and about the restaurant. He was sad about Maya, too. He asked if I was sure the restaurant was closed because they're always so busy at breakfast time and maybe they just aren't open evenings now and I told him I'd gone to their Web site and next to hours it says "Now Closed". I am bereft, utterly bereft. Where will I go in my neighborhood when I want a nice, inexpensive little meal, in a place where everyone says Hey, Janie, when I walk in, and I can sit and read a book while I eat? I remain bereft and without a clue. I am concerned about the servers, too, because I think they got dumped with little to no notice. I always befriend the servers where I eat. When I broke my back, the only person who called me to find out where I was and what was wrong was a server at my favorite restaurant (in Illinois).
2. Although I have dogs, I am cat-like in much of my behavior. I sleep for about 20 hours a day. When I wake up, I alternate between organizing stuff, kind of like a cat pushing around poop in a litter box; eating; rubbing up against Willy Dunne Wooters when he's here; and playing with a piece of string or some bubble wrap. I am easily entertained and a cheap date.
3. I majored in English. I'm not sure how I became a newspaper reporter. I went to a job interview and the executive editor asked where I had gotten my training in journalism. I said that I didn't have training in journalism, that I only took a Journalism 101 class. She said, Then where did you get your training in writing? I told her I went to Shepherd University. She held up a special issue of a small newspaper where I was the managing editor and asked, Did you do this? I said yes. They hired me. Those people were nuts. I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe that was the key to my popularity with the public.
4. Now that we're on the subject of popularity, I was never popular while I was growing up, and I didn't have a lot of friends during the early years of our marriage. We always had to move because X screwed up at something or got mad at somebody at work and he'd quit his job. Every time we moved, I lost my friends. Then I finally went back to college, and it was weird because everybody except this one jerk named Kevin seemed to like me. I always sat in the same place in Dr. C's class. The other students told me they knew where to sit based on my seat because the world is Janiecentric. Dr. C told me that he always saved my essays to read last because they made him feel he'd accomplished something as a teacher. At most of the jobs I had, if they had taken a vote for Miss Congeniality, I think I would have won. I get to be popular without every doing the rah-rah cheerleader thing. It's fun to be popular. I just read what I wrote in this paragraph, and it makes me feel good.
5. Recently, I fell in love with the TV show Nurse Jackie. I don't have Showtime so I'm getting it on DVDs from Netfix. I think it's wonderfully funny because it's so real. At the beginning of the first episode, Jackie says something to the effect of What do you call a nurse with a bad back? She answers herself: Unemployed. Jackie doesn't have any problem with bending or breaking rules if it will help her patients. I used to steal stuff out of the supply closet when I knew patients couldn't afford to buy something. Occasionally I ignored positive drug tests because what difference does it make if somebody who can't get any other job is working as a housekeeper in a hotel and she smokes some pot? Jackie and I are addicts, too.
6. Um, er, hmmm, snrt. Oh, I know! I'm editing a book for someone. A certain blogger recommended me for the job and apparently told the writer that I am "a scream". I usually only think I'm funny when I'm with my kids so I laugh at my own jokes until I'm about ready to fall down or pee my pants and they just shake their heads and say, We know you think you're funny, Mom, but you are so not funny. What kind of a bug do they have up their asses? How can they be my kids and not think I'm funny? Well, it's okay because Middle Child thinks I'm funny, and fishducky says that her daughter doesn't think she's funny and everybody knows that fishducky is hilarious. 
7. I have a new family member, and that's all I'm going to say about that for now.

Thank you, Stephanie Neighbour, for the award. I likes you a whole big bunch, and you is my friend.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug