Thursday, February 6, 2014

MOVIE WEEKEND DON'TS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I'm so sorry for not presenting a proper MOVIE WEEKEND today. I've been so busy, so I'm going to make this post easy and tell you about two movies you should not see. I don't want you to waste your time; however, if you saw these movies and liked them, then just shut the hell up about it please feel free to tell me about your opinion even though I couldn't care less.

The first movie is called The Last Ride (2012, PG-13, Available on DVD).


It's 1952. A young man is hired to drive a very drunk Hank Williams to a couple of shows. We know how that turns out. Nothing much happens on the way, except a fight or two.

The Last Ride earns The Janie Junebug Seal of Disparagement.

Our second movie is The Words (2012, PG-13, Available on DVD).


Yes, I know that's Bradley Cooper on the cover of the DVD or the movie poster or whatever that is that I lifted borrowed from IMDb, but I can't recommend this movie. I simply cannot do it even though Bradley Cooper is probably next in line to be my boyfriend if I ever get tired of Willy Dunne Wooters, though I don't know how that could happen because we made my bed collapse last night he's such a good boyfriend.

What is this movie about? I'm not sure. This young hottie named Rory (Bradley Cooper) wants to be a writer. It's not working out for him. Then he discovers a manuscript, passes it off as his own, and it's a big success. But the past catches up to Rory when The Old Man (Jeremy Irons) who wrote the book confronts Rory. Meanwhile, we see scenes with Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) presenting a reading of a book of his own about Rory stealing The Old Man's words.

If you saw this movie and you understand the plot, then will you please explain it to me? The Words earns The Janie Junebug Terrence Malick Seal of Disapproval because I totally did not understand his film, The Tree of Life.

I promise that next week I'll have movies that are MOVIE WEEKEND DOS.  In other words, they'll be worth watching.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

16 comments:

  1. I remember seeing a preview for The Words and it enraging me. Good to know my instincts are still sharp. I love the "Seal of Disparagement".

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  2. We came this close to renting The WOrds- so glad we didn't, now!

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    1. If you change your minds and watch it, then please explain it to me.

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  3. Haven't heard of either of these movies...guess I don't need to.

    -andi

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    1. I feel quite certain you can live without them.

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  5. Next in line to be your boyfriend... Well, if you're still interested, of course.

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  6. I was surfin' last night, and I found Bradley doing celebrity impersonations. I think I'm in love. It's past my loser bedtime. Nighty night.

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  7. Well then I am going to stick with the original plan to see the Lego Movie. (And the last movie I saw at the theater was the Muppet Movie, so, um, there's that)

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  8. I knew we'd disagree one day. I actually liked The Words because of his guilty struggle to do the right thing in the only way he knew how--a written confession. Until he told the truth, he couldn't write. Wasn't the greatest movie, but I liked it okay. Never heard of the other one.

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    1. I don't remember a written confession. Maybe I fell asleep. Why was Dennis Quaid in the movie? What was his character doing? It seemed as if he'd written a book about Bradley Cooper stealing the book from The Old Man.

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  9. Someone else mentioned the second movie and said it wasn't that good.
    Thanks for your advice. You haven't steered me wrong so far.
    R

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