Monday, January 20, 2014

WHAT WILLY DUNNE WOOTERS DONE TOLD ME

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Willy Dunne Wooters made me laugh yesterday – nothing new.


My Knight In Shining Armor and I were watching a DVD of a TV show. I don't want to reveal too much in case you want to watch this show and haven't seen it yet. The title of the show rhymes with Glad Ben. The main character, Con Paper, is having an affair with a neighbor's wife. He insists that she meet him in a hotel room, and then he gives her orders in regards to the removal of clothing and other things he wants her to do.

I'd never tell you to get down on your hands and knees, Willy Dunne Wooters said to me.

Why? Because you know I wouldn't do it? I queried.

No. Because we'd never be able to get back up, said Willy Dunne Wooters.

And that's all for sex lives of the old and infirm.



Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

46 comments:

  1. I sent my husband that card yesterday!!

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  2. I'm outraged, Janie Junebug! I thought I was your Knight In Shining Armor! :)

    I deciphered the code and realized that you and I have another TV series in common. Turns out I'm not so secretly in love with Annie, that community college girl who doubles as Pete's wife. Episodes that give me a glimpse of Trudy are what I like to call "Campbell Classics."

    I'm sorry to learn about your problems in the bedroom, dear friend. I'm a late bloomer myself and only have a learner's permit. I purchased an instruction manual entitled "How to Make Love To a Woman." On page one it tells you to start by turning out the lights. That's as far as I ever got!!!!!!!

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    1. I can have more than one knight in shining armor. Willy Dunne Wooters has the hots for Trudy. He loved it when she wanted to get pregnant and would wear those baby doll nighties.

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  3. Bahahaha! I don't think Philly Done Hooters would care if he couldn't get up off the floor if it meant a little sump'n sump'n....

    -andi

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    1. But we'd be stuck on the floor for the rest of our lives.

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  4. Sex. It's...uh...what was that again?
    Oh look, the game's on so I'd better geZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

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  5. Hi Janie .. someone watched me struggle to get off my knees after I'd taken the photo of the washing machine pink innards - didn't look like he'd come to my rescue .. so I thought I should make it up! I did ...

    Love this thought .. cheers Hilary

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    1. Hilary, my response to you is below my response to Susie. Blogger is messing with me.

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  6. Geez. It took me 15 minutes to figure out the TV show. Now I'm curious. I have two Good Wife DVDs sitting there getting moldy. I need to get viewin' and move on to Con Paper.

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    1. I've never watched The Good Wife. It sounds good. We're caught up on Glad Ben. New episodes in April, which I'm sure we'll watch together. Seven episodes this year and seven next year. AMC is drawing it out forever because Con Paper is so popular. Next we are going to watch Breaking Bad from the beginning. Willy has never watched it and I want to see it again.

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  7. I cleaned up some leaves in my front yard on Saturday. My back and legs and knees still hurt. I was near the driveway. To get up after pushing the leaves into a garbage can, I had to crawl to the car to pull myself up. Quite awkward.

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  8. HA!!! I should have that card in my bedroom.... and I'm not even 40 and still technically in the honeymoon phase. *sigh* I'm hoping for a rekindling when the kids move out.

    Only 7 more years...

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    1. I love my kids, but I admit that having the house to myself is da bomb.

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  9. You're your, to, too, two... Gotta get the wording right!

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  10. Replies
    1. Those ecards are great. I think they're called someecards. They're always funny.

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  11. You can still have a lot of fun rolling around on the floor. If memory serves me correctly.

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    1. But then we'd be stuck there. We'd get hungry after a while.

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  12. Bwahahaha!!! Somehow, all I could think of was Downton Abbey when you were describing the scene. Somehow, I don't think the Dowager Countess would ever utter hands and knees...

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    1. That's funny. I don't think the Dowager Countess ever had sex. I wonder where she found Robert.

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  13. Aww damnit! I don't blame you, but I follow Glad Ben on Petflicks and haven't seen that skeason (we're rhyming stuff for funsies at this point). And why bother with "hands and knees"? That's just unimaginative and uncomfortable.

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    1. Trust me: I didn't give away much at all. I blow what it's mike to watch on Petflicks. I would think you'll bet that skeason foon.

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  14. Oh ain't that the truth?! The idea of me dating again with my back and legs, knees and hips, just makes me cringe! I'm a real catch now. :-(

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    1. You're a great catch for someone who wants to laugh and have fun.

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  15. Now that really cracked me up!! And it is true to life, too--LOL! Both answers--yours and his!! ;)

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  16. Just get a hospital bed with a remote and let it put you in whatever position you want! hehehehe!

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  17. Can you email me what Glad Ben is? I want you to know I fell the other day, never hit the floor and could not get up. It was awkward. I wished I did not live alone then.

    I was moving some boxes and decided to walk away. I sort of stubbed my shoe on one box and pitched forward. As I fell, my left knee landed on the couch. My left arm went into a box, elbow first. The right knee landed in a box. The right hand landed in a box in a chair. Picture that? Try again. I was suspended.

    I was rather amazed and then the blood started to rush to my head. My face was about 10 inches from the floor and behind higher. I could not get down from there. Awkward. I wondered how long I would hang there before someone missed me. That was last Sunday and exbf was coming the next Friday.

    Remember, I have two torn rotator cuffs, two knees with torn meniscus, and back problems. Quit laughing. I did enough of that as I was trying to figure out how to get down...or up.

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    1. That sounds like something that would happen to me. Apparently, you got up because you're using the computer. Yes, I will email you.

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  18. Frisky still permeates when we gets older right!!!?

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  19. Dear Janie, when I was 18, toward the end of my senior year in high school, mom asked me if I had any questions about sex and I said, "I just don't understand, Mom, how anyone ever has a baby." She invited me to say more and I continued. "Well, it's just that the husband works for five days and then on Saturday he mows the grass and they go grocery shopping and then on Sunday they go to Mass." "And why does that means they can't have children?" Mom asked. "Well, they never have 24 hours to lie in bed together. So the woman never gets pregnant." Mom asked me to explain and I did--that a woman and a man had to lie next to each other for 24 hours for the woman to then be pregnant. Mom's reply, "Dolores, it takes all of two minutes!" Peace.

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    1. I bet a lot of women wish that 24 hours had been required!

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  20. LOL! I love the joke: "At first is tri-weekly, then try weekly, then try weakly."

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    1. We're not down to weakly yet, but we don't do anything fancy. I know – TMI.

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