Friday, January 3, 2014

CELEBRATING EMBARRASSMENT: MY ONE THOUSANDTH POST CELEBRATION

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Franklin agreed to give up Franklin Friday because, as promised, I'm presenting my top ten most popular posts as part of my one thousandth post celebration. EMBARRASSING WHAT? MONDAY was first published on July 9th, 2012. As many of you know, asking you a question is an on-and-off feature on my blog. 

It's #5 on my top ten hits list, and here it is after 1,010 page views:



Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

What is your most embarrassing moment?
If your most embarrassing moment is sooooo embarrassing that you can't bring yourself to tell us about it (like you shat your pants while on a date), then please tell us about something embarrassing that isn't unbearable.

I've had plenty of embarrassing moments in my life. Haven't we all?

But I've managed to choose one to share with you.

I went camping when I was a young teenager -- probably 13. In and of itself, that's plenty shocking. Me? Camping?

Yes, the woman who thinks that staying in anything less than a five star hotel is tantamount to camping actually stayed in a trailer with a friend and her mom for a week. We camped at a lake and had a rather good time swimming.

However, one day my friend's sister -in-law came to visit. She brought her little boy with her. He was standing up in a playpen. I think he was about a year old.

I picked him up for a cuddle. Yes, I used to think all babies were cute.

I was wearing a top my mom had made for me. It was sleeveless and had a tie on top of each shoulder that held up the top and kept it together and all that.

Did you already guess what happened?

If you figured out that the darling baby untied my top on one side, then you got it. There I was -- a young girl with one boob in and one boob out, deedle deedle dumpling I felt like a fool, for I wasn't wearing a bra. I was old enough and developed enough to wear one, but I didn't wear a bra with that particular top because the straps would have shown. During the seventies, we preferred not wearing a bra to letting our bra straps hang out.

So there's my boob, looking kind of like a piece of raw pink salmon next to the rest of tanned me. I quite calmly walked over to the playpen, put the fucking little fucker of a baby back in it and tied my shirt, covering up the boobster.

My "friend" was smirking. Her sister-in-law was laughing.

The friend looked a lot like this.
That's o.k. I may have been very embarrassed at the time, but the friend stayed flat as a board for as long as I knew her, while I continued to grow big, beautiful boobies.

I look a lot like this. And don't you forget it.
Now it's your turn. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Infinities of love,

Janie Juneboob


61 comments:

  1. I tend to not remember my most embarrassing moments so I don't have to feel stupid anymore

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  2. Darling, You're stupid anyway. tee hee Just kidding. But those embarrassing moments will bite you on the butt someday, so you might as well embrace them.

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  3. I have had too many embarrassing moments to write!
    Some of them stay where they belong...shoved in a diary somewhere! ;)

    One day, I hope they will be written in my memoirs..."The Days of the Crazy Lady", well, that's the plan I just thought of.

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  4. This is a truly mortifying story and I am a big boobster myself. Hate it. Running is torture.

    I have embarrassed myself 5 billion times, but luckily no body parts popping out...yet.

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    Replies
    1. Here's to hoping all your body parts remain clothed and where they belong.

      Delete
  5. I was home on leave from the Navy and met this girl. We spent a great deal of time together the whole two weeks I was home. The night before I was to return to CA, I walked her up to the door and was kissing her and telling her I would write her and all that stuff. Things like, “Mary, I will miss you something bad.” “It has been an amazing two weeks, Mary.” “Why are your crying, Mary? I’ll be back next year and will write you every day.” She looked up at me with huge tears running down her face and said, “My name is JoAnne.” I just said, “Damn! Sorry! I’ll still write, but you can answer if you want too.” She never did.

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    Replies
    1. Awwwww, poor Coffey. You probably lost a great love with that slip up. And poor JoAnne.

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    2. I don't rememeber you..........oh yeah you where not talking about me............sorry is that embaressing or what....lol

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    3. My embarrassing Navy moment came the morning after a port call in Naples. I woke up in a pillowcase.
      Yes. Drinking was involved.

      Delete
  6. I would have bet my underwear that Coffey would have had an incident like that.

    I had just left the restroom at work and, sadly, the restroom was directly in the line of fire from the Chief's desk.

    After I sauntered out of his office and down the hall to my office, I felt a rush of air, I grabbed my ass only to realize my skirt was stuffed into the top of my pantyhose . . . and that was ALL I was wearing. No underpants, just pantyhose.

    And I hated that man so much that I REFUSED to be embarrassed.

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  7. LJ, that is exactly why I don't wear pantyhose.

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    Replies
    1. Coffey, I would really like to see you in pantyhose -- and nuffin' else.

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    2. And that's why I don't wear pantyhose, either.
      Well, one of the reasons.

      Delete
    3. I stopped wearing pantyhose years ago. I usually wear panties, but not all the time.

      Delete
  8. Whew! Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

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  9. Getting into the mirrored elevator on the 31st floor and realizing my skirt was tucked into my pantyhose for God knows how many hours.

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    Replies
    1. You're the second pantyhose person. I've tucked my skirt into my undies, but someone always told me before I exited the restroom.

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    2. Or taking a picture of my wife in one of those heart-shaped tubs in the Poconos. When I asked her to take a picture of ME, she said, "Are you crazy?? There are mirrors behind the tub."
      I probably gave the dude who developed my pictures a heart attack.

      Delete
  10. Why didn't your friend help you?!?!?

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    Replies
    1. She was too busy thinking it was funny because I was embarrassed. She wasn't much of a friend, was she?

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  11. Getting arressted that was embarressing...........ok I have never been arresseted but it sounded good didn't it..........lol Right at this moment I can't think of one embarresing moment in my life when we both know there have been many I just can't remember them.....lol

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    Replies
    1. You'll probably think of something at 3 in the morning. That's when I usually remember things.

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  12. I'll be damned if I'd tell you about my most embarrassing moment but Im sure enjoying reading about other peoples'!

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    Replies
    1. fishducky! Don't be such a frickin' frackin' party pooper!

      Delete
  13. It's strange that I can't remember an embarrassing moment at this time.

    However, Janie, congratulations, I’m nominating you for Versatile Blogger Award – please ignore if you’ve received it before.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Peaches, but I have received it before. I'm trying to quit my award addiction cold turkey.

      Delete
  14. LMAO!!! At least he didn't decide it was "snack" time!! Heehee!!

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    Replies
    1. I thought about that. If he had latched onto me, I probably would have screamed for hours.

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  15. Hahaha, oh my, I would have died in that situation! I have had too many embarrassing situations but the one from 2nd grade was pretty bad. My class was in our big loud, echoey gym doing crunches and of course my body decided to fart at that particular time...a big loud, echoey fart. I'm surprised that I survived embarrassment to tell the tale!

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    Replies
    1. That's funny, but sad. I'm afraid the other kids laughed at you, and I don't want anyone laughing at my Maggie (unless you intend to be funny).

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    2. Try farting in church. The nuns made me sit in my own pew.
      BA DUM BUM.
      Thank you, thank you very much.

      Delete
  16. OMG! When I was in third grade we had to wear dresses to school. My mom bought me underpants that were too big for me--got the old "you'll grow into them in no time" thing. I was outside at recess and they just fell right down to my ankles! After that, I learned all about safety pins--LOL! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Naughty Rita, flashing the boys! I bet they've never forgotten you.

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  17. When Bubba was a toddler, he crawled into a "creek" in a wild bird food store. I was talking to the sales lady and didn't see him do it. When I turned around, Bubba was standing in the "creek," pointing at something in the water. It was a turd! Apparently he had to go and couldn't hold it!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, my goodness! I'd love to know how you dealt with that.

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    2. I calmly pulled out a plastic trash bag, (which I carried at all times for such emergencies), scooped out the turd, told the lady to have a nice day, and made a graceful exit out the door. ;0)

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    3. Did you have such emergencies on a "regular" basis? I always carried little packs of tissues, but I never carried trash bags.

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  18. AH!!! That's terrible! See, I always forget the embarrassing things that happen -- otherwise I torment myself at random moments with all the stupid, stupid little things, but Sherry's story reminded me of a moment. My cousin's wedding reception was held out doors in a beautiful yard, and my oldest was 4. We'd been living on a two acre property and he and his best friend had grown accustomed to relieving themselves out in the weeds rather than running for a bathroom. In the middle of the reception he decided he needed to pee and pulled down his pants right in front of everyone to do his business. Yikes! What kind of parents did we look like? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously, you are horrible parents. Your children should be taken away from you. Feel free to drink champagne while you take a bubble bath because you have no more responsibilities.

      Delete
  19. Walking around Walmart for a half hour seeing a ton of people who recognized me from the newspaper, and realizing when I got back to the car, my pants were unzipped.
    My face turned many shades of red.

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  20. Hi Janie .. I think I'm somewhat older than you and would hate to list them all .. - so I'll enjoy yours .. congratulations on 1000 posts and have a very happy 2014 .. cheers Hilary

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Hilary! Always a pleasure to see you.

      Delete
  21. Oh, you know ... walking around with toilet paper hanging from my skirt ... Aaaaaargh!!

    Congrats on 1000 posts. That's a mighty feat!

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    Replies
    1. I had a friend who walked around with a paper toilet seat cover hanging out of the back of her pants.

      Delete
  22. LOL! That was a GOOD one Janie! and I guess I 'won't forget it'!! lol
    Here's mine: I was a fitness instructor in the 80's. I had a regular 'following' and I noticed that one of the very regular participants (a woman) was getting bigger and bigger.
    I thought to myself that maybe she was pregnant and wanted to suggest the 'does and the don'ts she ought to be doing.....particularly in the first few months.
    So I approached her and asked if she was. She wasn't!!!! and got pretty upset and concerned about what she was doing wrong. I never 'went there' again!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too, learned the hard way not to ask a woman if she's pregnant.

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  23. Ohhhhhhh, I have so many. But, I'll settle for the one.
    Like the time I went skinny-dipping in a community pool.
    In the afternoon.
    Did I mention the pool was crowded?
    Yes. Drinking was involved.
    And BOTH my boobs were hanging out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have any pictures to post?

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    2. Thank all that is holy that social media had yet to be invented.

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  24. Haha ohhhh god cringe! I genuinely think I embarrass myself at least 4 times a week, I'd have to dig deep to find the most mortifying... xxx

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  25. I am sure you look prettier than Ms. Booblicious:)
    Just wandering whether you rec my card which I sent to your MIL.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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    Replies
    1. I haven't gotten the card yet, PAPS, but my MIL will be thrilled no matter when it arrives. Cards are still coming in.

      Delete
  26. Hi, Janie!!! Happy new year. Oh my that would be embarrassing - especially at that age when even not embarrassing things felt embarrassing.

    Let's see...I've got so many red-in-the-face moments, but one that sticks out the most started with a toga party. I drank lots and lots of rum & Cokes, ya see, and the details of the evening are fuzzy, I only remember some kind of ruckus at my brother's fraternity house when I returned to spend the night---because I was visiting from another campus. And did I mention that I caused the ruckus? Well, I did, though I don't know how, but the next day I was walking down Green Street, feeling ill and as if I owed an apology to a bunch of people, and I spotted one of my brother's friends who hadn't been at the house the night before but who apparently had heard all about it---because the second he saw me, he broke into applause.

    You'd think having someone clap for you would feel good, wouldn't you? But no, it didn't feel good at all. I still don't know what I did to earn that reaction. My brother never told me and I never asked. Also, I don't drink rum & Cokes anymore.

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    Replies
    1. No fair! I want to know what you did. It's time to ask your brother.

      Delete
  27. LMAO! I'll have to come up with a good embarrassing moment to share. can't think of one yet, but there must be some lurking in the back of my mind....

    -andi

    ReplyDelete

Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.