Monday, May 22, 2017

TWO NINE-YEAR-OLD BOYS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Two nine-year-old boys live in the house behind mine. They probably think I live in the house behind theirs, but nope! I was here before they were. My dogs have peed in the backyard enough that I can definitely claim this as OUR territory.

They're not identical twins,
but let's say they both look like this.

Now you might have noticed that I didn't mention that adults live in the house behind mine––because I swear to God no adults live there. It's the two nine-year-old boys.

I have seen a carousel of adults revolving around the house. They go in and out of the doors and talk on their cell phones in the yard behind MY backyard and blow cigarette smoke toward my house. I do not believe for one second that any of those adults live in that house. They just keep revolving and smoking and talking into cell phones.

Now, how do I know that the boys are nine years old, you might wonder. It's because they drove me so crazy one day that I yelled at them. I screeched, Where are your parents?

Er potter's nert ahm, they seemed to say. I'd heard everything else they'd been shouting for hours but when I asked them a question, suddenly they couldn't be heard.

I went over to the very tall privacy fence that somehow does not protect me from nine-year-old boys. I asked again, Where are your parents?

After three or so attempts at understanding them, they finally spoke loudly enough so I could hear them say, Our father's not home.

I used to be a newspaper reporter. I can conduct an interview with the best of them.

How old are you? I screamed.

Eventually their whispers wafted through the ether: We're nine years old.

Nine years old and they're at home alone on a school day––or what should have been a school day.



The words you dread as much as I dread nine-year-old boys: to be continued . . . 


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

34 comments:

  1. Hi Janie - neighbours can be challenging ... good luck with this scenario - not easy ... cheers Hilary

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  2. Looking forward to the to be continued!

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    1. I'll keep you waiting because I'm nasty like that.

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  3. Hmmm. Is it maybe Summer for those kids already? The question is more what you can do to discourage either the kids or the smoking rotating adults from utilizing their backyard. To which I can only recommend unleashing trained skunks. You cut a discreet flap out of the corner of the fence, then let the skunk go when someone's outside, making sure it is trained to spray anyone who isn't you, then return to you. The perfect crime.

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    1. The events described herein and henceforth occurred in January or early February. I can't remember. Do you a number for a good skunk trainer?

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  4. Oh, this doesn't sound good... Do I sense negligence here?

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    1. You do indeed, Martha. You do indeed.

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  5. Hummmm....something is rotten in the state of Denmark!

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    Replies
    1. And in the too-hot state of Florida. A letter is in the mail.

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  6. Nine year old boys without supervision. That's an unhappy circumstance. I hope there's a resolution.

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    1. Well done, Janie. Looking forward to reading the rest of this story.

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  7. Awful just awful !
    Want to hear more. Please !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. This story will have at least three parts.

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  8. Isn't there a law that parents can't leave children alone if they're under a certain age (I believe it's twelve.)?

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  9. Yikes! As the mother of 3 sons, I know bout them, nine year old boys. I'll keep you in my prayers! :-)

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    1. I used to have a nine-year-old boy. They need supervision.

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  10. My nine year old boy also known as my adorable grandson would not be left home alone for more than 20 minutes he would get into too much mischief................

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    1. I'm sure you can imagine the mischief two nine-year-old boys would get into if they're left alone for hours.

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  11. Oh my. Two nine year old boys home alone, that's a recipe for trouble.

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  12. Maybe if the brats are left alone, child services should be called??

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    1. Someone will be called in a future installment.

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  13. Somehow I don't imagine that this will end well.

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    1. Oh, it has a pretty satisfactory ending--for me.

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  14. I'm waiting with bated breath for the next part. Will this be a serial?

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    1. It could go on until they're old enough to run away from the carousel.

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  15. Parents love their cell phones more than their kids.

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    1. Everywhere I go I see adults staring at their cell phones while their children beg for attention--unless the children are staring at their own cell phones.

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  16. The only good thing about being behind on reading is that I don't have to deal with suspense-moving on to part 2! ;)

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.