When I wrote the title for this post, I thought ha ha ha! I've invented a new word: apologizer. Then I checked to be sure that the word originated with your Queen of Grammar, and learned that apologizer is already a word. Or else someone got it in the dictionary awfully fast after I typed it.
It means, of course, someone who apologizes.
Here, someone named Amber Ray acts as an apologizer, but I don't know why she uses a photo of Willy Dunne Wooters when her apology is to Ryan Gosling:
Last week I was critical of a blogger because I thought she was doing something wrong. I was the one who was wrong, and I apologized. I know quite a few of you read my apology because you commented on it. Therefore, my question is as follows:
Do you think I can get a job as a professional apologizer?
When you wait 45 minutes in a restaurant and get a sandwich with mustard when you specifically said no mustard, or you get a bill that's $300 more than you're supposed to pay, or you work for Hobby Lobby and the Supreme Court says that Hobby Lobby doesn't have to give you health insurance that covers your birth control, then do you think you'd feel at least a tiny bit better if you received a sincere and loving letter of apology from the person who made your sandwich or the person who coded the bill or certain justices on the Supreme Court (not Ruth Bader Ginsberg because she wrote a very strong dissent, but Clarence Thomas, you owe the world a lot of apologies, buddy)?
I'm just kinda thinking that all those people who make mistakes might not have the time or the grammar skills to write letters of apology, so maybe I can become a professional apologizer and write those letters. I wanna earn an honest living.
I have to admit, though, that apologizing for Clarence Thomas is probably beyond my capabilities.
In case I have you wondering about apologizer v. apologist, an apologist is someone who writes or states a defense of a case or belief. I learned that when I took The History of The British Novel (thank you, Dr. Winter), but I don't remember why.
If you need an apologizer, please keep me in mind (not you, Clarence, and not Arnold Schwarzenegger). Hey, spell check recognizes Schwarzenegger. That's interesting. I didn't think it would.
The world is an amazing place. Right, Willy Dunne Wooters?
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
P.S. Thanks to all of you who read my apology and were so kind to me. The person I criticized very graciously accepted my apology.
I would NEVER accept an apology for Clarence Thomas!!
ReplyDeleteI would not help Clarence. I've never forgotten how Anita Hill was treated.
DeleteI took a course called Apologetics. The "defense" part is something people don't get. Most people don't know how to give an apology. Ex: I am sorry that you got upset. That is not an apology.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely true--not an apology.
DeleteI missed your apology somehow, but I'm a believer in a well-placed apology. Not an insincere one, and not an apology that is simply to keep the peace (and NOT the ridiculous "I'm sorry you were upset by that"), but a genuine admitting of "I was wrong." It keeps us humble and allows others to see we're not beyond recognizing our fallibility.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Janie! And WDW has never looked better.
I'm pretty fallible. WDW is my hunka hunka burnin' love.
DeleteThis is weird. I've been toying with a professional apologizer post for weeks now. It might be one of those things that was floating through the ether, dancing across the collective unconscious, and you plucked it out out first.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are people who definitely need a professional apologizer. I'm thinking the people who really need those services are the people who apologize like this: "I'm sorry that YOU feel bad for what I said."
How about "I'm sorry that you didn't get my joke"? "I'm sorry you don't understand such a high-level topic." X used to take some of my things and give them away or throw them out. One of the last times that happened and I got pissed off, he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt such a sense of ownership." Asswipe. I sent professional apologizer back into the ether. You can still write about it. You will have that unique Pickleope take on the topic.
DeleteHey if there can be a person who breaks up with someone for others, then there surely can be a person who apologizes for others! Lol.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep you in mind next time I need one! ;)
Hey, I'll do the breaking up job, too. I've been dumped so many times I know how to do it.
DeleteI aplogize a lot, though I rarely mean it. Now i'm curious about this blogger apology!!
ReplyDeleteOnce when Favorite Young Man got in some trouble when he was about seven years old, the parent of another kid got really upset and thought he was a hideous child with uncaring parents. I apologized profusely and saved the day. I meant it, but kind of didn't, because it was her kid who started the trouble and FYM finished it.
DeleteNow I'm afraid I sound like a jerk, but I always cared about teaching my kids to behave properly. Kind of overdoing the apology smoothed things over and made the other mom feel better.
DeleteThat sandwich thing is appalling. Especially since it was peanut butter,
ReplyDeleteBut, I would actually prefer a sandwich made the right way.
For free.
Same here. I used to complain about getting the wrong order or about lousy service in a restaurant. Now I keep my mouth shut because I don't want somebody spitting in my food or using it to mop the floor and then giving it to me.
DeleteNow if there's a market for that, perhaps I could join you. I have been asked to write a wide variety of letters for others, and letters of apology would be something fun.
ReplyDeleteI am especially good at letters of complaint. I'm polite, but I get right to the point. I haven't felt the need to complain to a company in quite some time, but when I did a few years ago, I received a very nice cherry jewelry box for free.
DeleteI'm glad the blogger accepted your apology. It was sincere so yay that it's a thing of the past now. :)
ReplyDeleteExcept that I'll feel guilty for about ten years or so.
DeleteIf I see a woman with a beer belly and ask her when she is due, then I will apologize. Other than that, I don't apologize. Or rarely. I usually mean what I say and say what I mean. If that upsets someone, it's their problem.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a beer belly, but I have post-menopausal belly fat that I'm trying to reduce. I have been asked when my baby is due. I think the worst part is that people think Favorite Young Man is my boyfriend or husband. Why would a good looking young guy like that date a fat lady who is old enough to be his mom? It can't be because I'm rich because I don't have much money.
DeleteIf there are people out there NOT apologizing for fear of doing it incorrectly, you could have a booming business.
ReplyDeleteI suspect people who don't apologize are embarrassed or they don't realize they've done something rude or they're just assholes.
DeleteSo how would you charge people for this? If you ever have a sale on your services does that mean it's a half-ass apology?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for that stupid joke.
Love you, Janieola
Okay
Bye
That's not a stupid joke. It made me smile. I love you, Stephanola. I wish we could have lunch together.
DeleteI'm sorry, but I can't come up with a good comment. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteNo, I apologize because my post wasn't good enough to inspire you. I'm the one who is sorry.
DeleteI am glad you were forgiven. But I don't think you need to go professional--LOL! ;)
ReplyDeleteBut what if I could earn some money? We can always use a few more $.
DeleteOh my goodness reading this made me think what the hell a professional apologizer now I know I am quick to say sorry but don't think anyone would pay me to say sorry
ReplyDeleteI'm quite certain no one will hire me, either.
Delete