Tuesday, July 23, 2013

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: MRS. ROOMBA

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I am so grateful that Mrs. Roomba has joined our happy little family. I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford her, but I saved up some Amazon gift cards and received a couple of Visa gift cards; and all of a sudden, I thought, Mrs. Roomba will be mine at last.

I got one of the more sophisticated Mrs. Roombas. She's made to work well with pet hair. And she does.

I have lots of reasons to be grateful for Mrs. Roomba, but I think these are the three most important grounds for Roomba love:

1. My house stays much cleaner, and cleanliness is next to cleanliness.

2. She saves my back from the stress and strain and pain of vacuuming.

3. It's kind of like having a sister-wife because she helps with the cleaning and she obeys me (first wife), but I don't have to bear the shame of polygamy, or the cause for arrest. I also don't have to be married to some creepy polygamist. *Note: I've been watching Big Love, which used to be on HBO. It's not anymore, but I'm generally a day late and a dollar short.

Here's a Roomba video I found online. It will give you some idea of how she works.



Mrs. Roomba is not perfect. Her work in corners is mediocre. To clean behind or underneath something, she has to be able to get behind or underneath whatever it is. Sometimes I pull out a piece of furniture, such as the couch, so that area isn't neglected.

I'm surprised at how easily she zips under my cedar chest and some other pieces of furniture that are pretty low to the ground. If she comes across some tumbleweeds of dog hair that she can't pick up, she kind of rolls them up together so I can grab them and throw them in the trash. She senses which areas are dirtiest and heads straight for them.

Her dust bin is very easy to empty. Before I ordered her from Amazon, I read a lot of reviews about her, and saw the problems some people had and the solutions that other people had. For example, someone said her filters have to be replaced all the time and it gets pretty expensive. Someone else came back with No, get a can of air and blow out her filters about once a week and you don't have to replace them very often. It's true, too. I've been giving her regular blow jobs.

Harper and Scout have adjusted to having her in the house. If she taps them, they get up and move. Franklin, however, is still the scaredy dog of the family. At least now he'll walk past her when she's not moving.

She bumps into me occasionally. It doesn't hurt, so of course, it doesn't hurt the furniture when she bumps into it. She goes from hardwood floors to area rugs with no trouble at all.

When Mrs. Roomba whirs around the house, keeping us clean for democracy, I feel as if God is in His heaven and all's right with the world.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Just so ya know, nobody paid me nothin' or gave me anything for writing this post, but if you would like to pay me or give me something nice, please let me know. I'm sure we can work it out.

26 comments:

  1. Lois Henrickson and Nicolette Grant were my favorite character on Big Love. I was obsessed with that show.

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    1. Nickie is my favorite wife. She's so . . . unusual. But I love the interaction between all three wives.

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  2. Hi Janie .. I need to look into this sort of 'hoover' but for now I have the standard version ..

    Sounds like Mrs Rhoomba is going to improve your life somewhat - and glad she is befriending the dogs - intruders need to be trained too ..

    Cheers - she sounds like she makes a wonder woman companion! Hilary

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    1. She is quite the wonder woman. Congratulations on your new little prince.

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  3. As long as you keep giving her regular blow jobs (as opposed to irregular?) then I'm sure Mrs. Roomba shall continue to make you happy.
    I always thought they should be triangle shaped so that they could get into corners. Regardless, I'm jealous.

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    1. Save your pennies for about five years the way I did and then you can get a Roomba. Triangle shaped is a good idea.

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  4. Now if only Ms. Roomba's sisters would start folding laundry...

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  5. Mrs. Roomba sounds very helpful. Maybe someday I'll use her services.

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    Replies
    1. I think a new house should have a new Roomba.

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  6. Did you ever watch Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis? He has a housekeeper and he got a Roomba and kept teasing the housekeeper that he had to get it because she didn't do a good job cleaning the floors. She hated that thing. She would say "Roomba" like Jerry said "Newman" on Seinfeld. It was the funniest thing to me. So now I can't see the name Roomba without hearing her say it.

    Poor little Franklin, though. You might have to send him to my house where I not only do not have a Roomba, but I barely vacuum, so nothing much scary here, except for the dust bunnies :)

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    Replies
    1. No, I never saw it. It sounds hilarious. Franklin is adjusting.

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  7. Congratulations on your new live-in maid!!

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    Replies
    1. She doesn't do enough to be considered a maid. If she'd dust and clean the bathrooms, then she'd be a maid.

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  8. My God, you've got a robot in your house. Remember Skynet?

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    1. No. Did something hideous and horrible happen with a Roomba? Did she kill someone?

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  9. I wish her sisters would give blow jobs.

    I tried watching Big Love...didn't care for it. But the next best Roomba reference is Breaking Bad. That evil Heisenberg plants a ciggie in one...

    -andi

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    1. Oh, I saw that episode of Breaking Bad. I felt really cool because both Jesse and I have Roombas.

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  10. Giving her regular blow jobs! ROFL!! She looks like a smart cookie. I love thinking of her as a sister wife. (I loved Big Love!) Yes, she is a true technical miracle!! :)

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    Replies
    1. She is indeed a sister wife and a technical miracle. I'm in love with her.

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  11. I want to get one of these for my parents for Christmas

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    Replies
    1. It would be an excellent gift. I recommend getting one of the latest models because they work better.

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  12. When we saw one of those things in action at our friends' place in Tennessee, we both cracked up, just imagining how our cats would react to it. Said friends have multiple pets, and alas, dog and cat hair eventually caused the demise of poor Mrs. Roomba. Now, if one of those things can clean toilets, I'll definitely consider buying one.

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    Replies
    1. With my three boys shedding, I need to clean her frequently. I don't know how long she'll last. I'll have to see what happens and decide if she's worth replacing when she dies.

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  13. This was such a fun post!I almost forgot we were talking about a vacuum! I've missed reading your posts. Trying to get better. Promise.
    Love,
    Stephanola

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    Replies
    1. I've been terrible about visiting you. My mind is scattered all over the place, pieces in the yard, some in the living room, and a lot of it in bed.

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