Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
I am so grateful that Mrs. Roomba has joined our happy little family. I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford her, but I saved up some Amazon gift cards and received a couple of Visa gift cards; and all of a sudden, I thought, Mrs. Roomba will be mine at last.
I got one of the more sophisticated Mrs. Roombas. She's made to work well with pet hair. And she does.
I have lots of reasons to be grateful for Mrs. Roomba, but I think these are the three most important grounds for Roomba love:
1. My house stays much cleaner, and cleanliness is next to cleanliness.
2. She saves my back from the stress and strain and pain of vacuuming.
3. It's kind of like having a sister-wife because she helps with the cleaning and she obeys me (first wife), but I don't have to bear the shame of polygamy, or the cause for arrest. I also don't have to be married to some creepy polygamist. *Note: I've been watching Big Love, which used to be on HBO. It's not anymore, but I'm generally a day late and a dollar short.
Here's a Roomba video I found online. It will give you some idea of how she works.
Mrs. Roomba is not perfect. Her work in corners is mediocre. To clean behind or underneath something, she has to be able to get behind or underneath whatever it is. Sometimes I pull out a piece of furniture, such as the couch, so that area isn't neglected.
I'm surprised at how easily she zips under my cedar chest and some other pieces of furniture that are pretty low to the ground. If she comes across some tumbleweeds of dog hair that she can't pick up, she kind of rolls them up together so I can grab them and throw them in the trash. She senses which areas are dirtiest and heads straight for them.
Her dust bin is very easy to empty. Before I ordered her from Amazon, I read a lot of reviews about her, and saw the problems some people had and the solutions that other people had. For example, someone said her filters have to be replaced all the time and it gets pretty expensive. Someone else came back with No, get a can of air and blow out her filters about once a week and you don't have to replace them very often. It's true, too. I've been giving her regular blow jobs.
Harper and Scout have adjusted to having her in the house. If she taps them, they get up and move. Franklin, however, is still the scaredy dog of the family. At least now he'll walk past her when she's not moving.
She bumps into me occasionally. It doesn't hurt, so of course, it doesn't hurt the furniture when she bumps into it. She goes from hardwood floors to area rugs with no trouble at all.
When Mrs. Roomba whirs around the house, keeping us clean for democracy, I feel as if God is in His heaven and all's right with the world.
Infinities of love,
Just so ya know, nobody paid me nothin' or gave me anything for writing this post, but if you would like to pay me or give me something nice, please let me know. I'm sure we can work it out.