THE GRAMMAR BITCH IS BACK

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

As you may have noticed, grammar has become a recurring topic on my blog. Why? I am The Queen of Grammar. Additionally, I have a grammar badge, presented to me by the fabulous fishducky.

If you don't follow fishducky at fishducky, finally!, then may God help you because I can't.

As your Queen, I've welcomed your recent grammatical inquiries and pet peeves.

Today, I'll focus on two topics.

First, Little Lotta Joy at Witless Relocation Program asked the following question: Is it: "I wish I were" or "I wish I was"

Thank you for this excellent question, Dana Joy Wyzard, author of Treadwell, a great novel available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Treadwell-Sheltered-Foothills-Southern-Reclusive/dp/1483603644.

The answer is "I wish I were". Think subjunctive, but if you can't remember to think subjunctive, then remember that if you're talking or writing about a situation that's contrary to fact, then it's were.

Second, Susan Flett Swiderski at I Think; Therefore, I Yam commented: The grammar bug-a-boo that sticks in my craw these days is the mismatch of noun and pronoun. For example: "It's necessary for one to always do it themselves." And I am seeing this being done in blog posts, emails, magazines, newspapers, and books. Being done by writers who should know better! Or is it just me? Has someone changed the rules while I was taking a nap?

Susan, "they" tried to change the rules while you were napping, but with everyone's help, we'll stop those darn would-be rule changers. Please, Gentle Readers, make your nouns and pronouns match. If you're talking or writing about one person, then the pronoun can't be they. However, if you want to avoid the somewhat messy he/she matter, then make your noun plural and you can use they as your pronoun. When in doubt, consult your Queen.

Thank you, Susan Flett Swiderski, author of the excellent novel Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X.

I soon shall finish reading Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X. When I'm done reading Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade, available from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X, it will be the subject of a rave review on this-a-here blog because I loves me some Hot Flashes & Cold Lemonade. Did I mention you can buy it on Amazon? Check out http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-Lemonade-Susan-Flett-Swiderski/dp/148489071X.

Now for a couple of quick reminders, just in case you missed these grammatical concerns:

Adorable Andi at delusions of ingenuity pointed out that the past tense of drag is dragged. Charming Susie at loonysuse asked if I prefer dived or dove. I told her that dove is the traditional answer, but dived has become acceptable, even to me. But Gentle Readers, whether you dived or dove yesterday, I hope the water was sufficiently deep.

Finally, I want to bring up a matter that does not concern grammar, but it does concern humanity. I hope you'll read Mayor Gia's post about the murder of Trayvon Martin at http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2013/07/well-isnt-this-fucked-up-and-bullshit.html. Gia first published this post after Trayvon's death. She re-posted it after his murderer was found not guilty. It remains the best post I've read about Trayvon Martin.

As for the verdict, I didn't watch the trial. I strongly suspect that the prosecutors failed to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. However, if Trayvon Martin had killed George Zimmerman, then I strongly suspect that the prosecutors would have found a way to prove Trayvon Martin guilty -- without a doubt.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug