Monday, July 22, 2013

FIRE!

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Many years ago, during The Dark Ages, a lovely, funny woman named Bonnie tamed my hair. We always chatted happily as she played with my golden tresses.

Bonnie told me this story of a fire, and I've never forgotten it.

When her daughter was a very small baby, Bonnie went to check on her one night and at that very moment, a space heater in the room started a fire and the drapes went up in flames. Bonnie stared at the fire, transfixed. Her partner, Vince, dashed into the room, thrust the baby into Bonnie's arms, and pushed them out of the house.

A neighbor called for help, and as they waited for the firefighters, Vince grabbed what valuables he could from the house and brought them out to the front yard. The thingy is, Vince was naked.

As the fire engine arrived, Vince suddenly realized he was sans pants. The fire had spread, so sensible man that he was, Vince ran through the burning house, ran to the very back of the house to the laundry room, grabbed a pair of dirty jeans out of a laundry basket, put them on, and ran back through the burning house and out the front door.


I'm pleased to report that everyone survived, though the house was pretty badly damaged, and Bonnie had a great story to tell. By the time Bonnie trimmed my golden tresses, the baby saved from the fire was a teenager. She's probably about 40 years old now, and I bet Bonnie is still telling the story.

Why didn't Vince ask a neighbor for a towel to wrap around himself? Why didn't Vince run to the back of the house and dash in the back door, which led directly into the laundry room, if he was so determined to have a pair of jeans?

God only knows why we do the things we do, especially when we panic a wee bit.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

33 comments:

  1. He set the fire deliberately so he could run around nude, the dirty sod.

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  2. Wow- although what he did was foolish, I can't say as I blame him. What a story!

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    1. It's hard to think clearly during an emergency, but at least he made sure Bonnie and the baby were safe.

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  3. Great story! I think parts of our brains shut down when we switch into survival mode. Or when a reeeeally good-looking man plants smooches on our necks... or when ...

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  4. Firefighters are used to seeing naked bodies. That's why every emergency vehicle is equipped with blankets. If Vince was well endowed, he could have gotten lots of blankets for their future use.

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  5. I love your little animated mooner. Philly would totally fly out of the house sans pants as well...only he'd do it on purpose. :)

    -andi

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    1. If he does that, then I hope you take photos. And share them. On your blog.

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  6. The people who tame hair are often the best people of all.

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    1. I agree. Currently, I'm in love with a hair tamer named Sam.

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  7. He was probably in shock, and shock can make you do strange things.

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    1. I was in shock once. You don't wanna know what I did.

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    2. I wanna know what you did! :)

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    3. Stephanola, you really and truly don't want to know. It involved alcohol and pills.

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  8. Some stories (like THIS one) are good enough to keep telling forever!!

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    1. And Bonnie always had a fresh audience of new customers.

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  9. Vince was definitely a hero and I am glad he survived his need for pants.

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    1. He was a nice man. I hope he and Bonnie have lived happily ever after.

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  10. He really must've loved those jeans. I mean realllllly.

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    1. I don't know about that. I think he was very, very confused.

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  11. Ha ha, what an amusing story that could have been tragic! It's funny what your brain does in a panic and you aren't thinking clearly. I remember when my friend and I were mugged in Honduras, we were both shouting at the muggers in English as they ran away, even though we were both fluent in Spanish. Even though we were traumatized, we laughed about that later.

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    1. English automatically comes out of my mouth. And sometimes I'm speaking Spanish, and I open my mouth and French comes out.

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  12. You know, that is my biggest fear.... I sleep in my undies in the summer, and if there ever is a fire, I will be the one standing outside with my butt hanging low in the grannie panties and the "girls" swinging in the breeze.

    I know, lovely image. :)

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    1. I sleep naked. Now that's a frightening image.

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  13. Oh man, I was so hoping Vince had pulled out a skirt from the laundry basket! Some stories are never meant to be forgotten!

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    1. That would have made a great story even more hilarious.

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  14. That is truly a great story! I was laughing, but when I read it again, I saw many lessons inside it.

    Have a great week!

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    1. Thanks! I hope you have a great week, too. Franklin continues to enjoy "his" award.

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  15. OMG! Now he's a brave guy! I hope they lived happily ever after, too. He sounds like a keeper!! :)

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.