Sunday, December 30, 2012

LIKE FRANKIE SAID I DID IT MY WAY



Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's my third blogaversary. Whoo-hoo, and I mean that in the most mean spirited and sarcastic way possible.

I chose the Bon Jovi song above because this blog -- this thing -- it's my life. I just wanna live while I'm alive.

Dr. X always discouraged me from singing. One of the nicest things Elvis Aaron Schwarz said to me was that I have a nice voice. He might have even said that it was sweet and beautiful, and that I'm sweet and beautiful.

Well, I can pretend he said that.

You know who I am,
and
I am not Dr. X.
So three years ago I sat down at my computer and set up my blog and my very first post was First Wife Hell -- Second Wife Heaven by Dumped First Wife. I didn't know then that I was going to evolve into that wildly pornographic Lola and then settle down into being plain old me, Janie Junebug.

Sometimes I worry I'm not as funny as I was when I was Lola, but you know, things change, and I'm one of them.

Now I have 151 followers, I've written 816 posts, and I've been checked out 40,762 times. I once had heady dreams of thousands of followers. Now I'm grateful for you 151 and anyone else who happens to stop by.

I'm also extremely grateful for the connections I've developed and the friends I've made. I never knew there was such a creature as a fishducky, and I love her so, along with Melynda and Rita and Dee and Sherry and Kianwi and loonysuse and The Frisky Virgin and Juli and Stephanie and Susan and Veb and so many other people, and I'm sure I'll be sorry I named names because no doubt I've forgotten to mention someone who is fabulous and fantastic and almost as adorable as I am.

If it weren't for blogging, I wouldn't have a middle child (Elisa), and I wouldn't have edited four books. I also hope to edit more, so if you're in need of a good but tough editor, then please let me know because I'll be glad to take your money and return your manuscript to you with corrections and suggestions for improvement. My email is dumpedfirstwife@gmail.com. I'm fast and cheap -- as an editor, that is. I gave up my fast and cheap ways as a woman when I met that scoundrel Elvis Aaron Schwarz.

Yeah.
You know who the fuck
I am.
I thank those of you who stuck with me during the time I had to take my blog private because a wicked witch who shall remain nameless but don't think I don't know who you are was haunting me with truly vicious comments. I am sad that my boy Maxwell stopped blogging, and really disappointed in dirtycowgirl, who said she would be my pretend lesbian lover and then dumped me so she could sell crap on ebay.

Something that's changed since I marked the occasion of my 700th post is my most popular post. For a long time my most popular post was Dumpy Men With Beautiful Skinny Wives. This post has dropped to the ninth spot in my top ten most popular list. It's been replaced by Lip Lock. I don't know why.

In second place is A Brief Tribute To My Father-In-Law, which touches my heart. Third place goes to Mr. Rogers Did Not Wear A Sweater To Cover Up His Tats. This post debunked the email that claimed Mr. Rogers was a grizzled war hero who wore his sweater to cover his many tattoos. I received that email so many times that I couldn't stand it anymore, and every time I receive an email that claims something stupid, like Obamacare calls for "death squads," then I'm glad I debunked at least one dumb email.

During these three years, the dog of my life -- my collie, Faulkner -- died. LegalMist doesn't post very often these days, but when she does, I'm there for her. She didn't know it at the time, but the night after Faulkner died, I was lying in bed, reading her comments on my then quite new blog. LegalMist got me through that long night.

Since then, Franklin has joined us.

 So when Bon Jovi sings "Frankie said I did it my way," he may think it's Frank Sinatra, but it's really Fankie Big Paws, the Mafia dog of Jacksonville, Florida, which at my blog house is Dogtown, where I live with the Z-Boys.
Scout








Harper Lee


Infinities of doggie style love,

Janie Junebug


45 comments:

  1. Eight hundred and sommen quality post. Congrats!

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    1. Thank you, Coffey, and I should have included you in my list of buddies. I told ya I'd fergit somebody.

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    2. No problem! I am rarely, if ever, on anybody's fav list. And there is no reason why I should be. Nothing great there.

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    3. Bullshit. I think you're great.

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  2. I think you're pretty funny, pornographic Lola or not, even though you didn't mention me in your post *fakes sadness and self pity*.....Your doggies are so cute, the chis are jealous. NOw I'm going to read sone of those old posts, they sound like fun...:)

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    1. See, I said I would forget some people! Of course you belong on my list!

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  3. Congratulations on your third Blogversary, an achievement to be proud of.

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  4. HAPPY BLOGAVERSARY, Janie--I love you, too!!

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    1. Since dirtycowgirl dumped me, would you consider being my pretend lesbian lover? Or do you not feel THAT kind of love for me?

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  5. Happy blogaversary!!! :) I hope you'll have many more of those! I love your stories and your sense of humor.

    Big fan of yours, the song and your dogs :D

    -B-

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  6. Thanks for the mention. You're going for three more years, right?

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  7. Awe... I made the list. :) Crazy how fast it takes off, huh? I find that the writing is always my "go back" thing. Even as of late, when I find I don't have time or I'm hanging by a thread, that's when I write.

    And just so you know... I have had many boyfriends tell me they love my voice. I sang solos in chorus as a kid and Kereoke as an adult. My ex-hole said that I should never sing, that it was horrible. I didn't sing for 10 years.

    Until the day he left. And now Tony and I sing all the time. :)

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    1. Isn't that interesting? Two ex-assholes who hurt us by keeping us from one of the most joyful sounds in the world. Now the hills are alive with the sound of music. Yes. I sound exactly like Julie Andrews.

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    2. They must have been threatened by the sound of angels on earth. ;)

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  8. Happy blogoversary! Said with no sarcasm at all. Really!

    This is a lovely recap of your blog-life and I'm so glad you've stuck with it because this is the most honest and entertaining blog I've found yet. And where else can I expect a steady stream of pictures of Johnn--er, Elvis Aaron Schwarz? You won't get jealous if I say I think he's cute, will you?

    And thank you for defending Mr. R! Who would want to spread rumors about that dear, dead man?

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    1. The most honest blog? Now, c'mon Nicki. Do you really think I'm honest when I post those photos of Elvis Aaron Schwarz? He's much better looking than that, but I don't want anyone to know because some bitch would try to steal him from me. The email about Mr. Rogers wasn't derogatory -- it simply wasn't true. I'm tired of emails that spread all over creation and they're full of lies. Mr. Rogers was a veteran of the seminary, not the military.

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  9. Happy 3 year blogversary! Thanks for mentioning me. I'll have to check out the other ones who were smart enough to be your friend. (I like your song choice. It's the same one my husband and I danced to on our wedding day.)

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    1. If you danced to that song on your wedding day, then you are disgustingly young, but I love you anyway.

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    2. I am 41. Is that disgustingly young? LOL!

      Happy New Year!

      BTW, I finished reading Homeless in Hawaii. It was fabulous!

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    3. You are younger than I am, so, yes, you are disgustingly young. Age up!

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  10. Happy blogoversary, Janie! For a while I wondered who was Lola, especially when I could not leave a comment. Then Lola stopped blogging and I couldn't find her. Later, I discovered that Lola was Janie. I love Lola and love, love Janie even more.

    I don't know who made the connection but it doesn't matter. I'm glad we connected and that you've helped to make my manuscript into a book.

    You write funny posts and you're an amazing woman.

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    1. Thank you, Peaches. You're another one I should have included on my list of buddies. See how senile and forgetful I am?

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  11. I'm so thankful you started blogging :) And that I found you and our blog family.

    Happy blogaversary!

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  12. Congratulations on your third bloggaversary! I'm looking forward to reading many more years of posts... I love your writing; always have, always will. I love that you are here for me when I need a good blog to read, or a friendly comment on my own blog. Thanks for being you! :)

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  13. Congratulations on your third bloggaversary! I'm looking forward to reading many more years of posts... I love your writing; always have, always will. I love that you are here for me when I need a good blog to read, or a friendly comment on my own blog. Thanks for being you! :)

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    1. Aw. You love me so much you said the same thing twice. That's really sweet.

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  14. Thank you for mentioning me in your post...it is an honor. And congrats on three years. I know there will be many more.

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  15. Did you get my comment that I sent just now? If not let me know and I'll rewrite it.

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    1. No, Stephanola, I didn't get it. Oh! Wait! Maybe I did! Let's look at the comment above this one. Yup. It's you, Gorgeous.

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  16. Happy blogiversary lady! Here's to many more!!

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  17. Congratulations!! Thanks for following me and commenting on my every post. I really appreciate it. Sorry I am unable to do the same to you as I dont log in always and mostly it is once or twice a week. I hope your blog life will continue to thrive and this new year will be full of sex, love and laughter.
    Happy New Year.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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    1. A new year full of sex? PAPS, I love the way you think!

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  18. I have only known you as Janie and I like you very, very much just as you are. :) Congrats on your third year anniversary. I'm glad you don't have so many followers that you wouldn't have time to chat with me now and again. ;) May this be the best year ever!! *hugs*

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    1. Thank you, Rita. I will always have time for you, and I hope you will always have time for me, what with Karma and all your projects.

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  19. I'm grateful I'm connected to you Janie. When I first saw you, I think at Ed's, I thought of you as somebody so popular that you would not have time for little me :) Happy New Year, may all your wishes and dreams come true, and may 2013 be bright and beautiful.

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    1. Little You has a big soul and a big heart. You will always be my one and only beautiful oceangirl.

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  20. Hi Janie .. congratulations on 3 years of blogging ... and here's to many more - cheers Hilary

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