Friday, December 16, 2011

HOW SMOKING POT GOT ME UNINVITED TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE




Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

My children did not indulge in a great deal of drinking and drugging when they were in high school. There was the time Favorite Young Man came home from "camping at the lake" and barfed up everything including his toenails and then passed out, and I'm sure that wasn't the only time he was inebriated. But then he got into being straight edge. What a loser. Hahahahahaha. I love him.

I feel quite certain that Someone I Love didn't learn to enjoy pot and drinking until she went to college because her fancy-schmancy high school had a zero tolerance policy and there was no way the valedictorian was going to risk getting kicked out. And her school really did send kids home the minute they got caught. Those critters were whisked away so fast they didn't even get to say goodbye to their friends.

Of course, she smoked plenty of weed and did her share of drinking in college to make up for lost time. I know because she told me lots of stories about it and I laughed my ass off at her shenanigans.

However, when she called after her first few days at college, she said, The entire North campus smells like pot. I asked, How do you know what pot smells like? She said, Well, you're the one who took me to a Beck concert.

So she wasn't totally naive, thanks to Mommy.

Not too long ago I wrote a post about walking at my neighborhood park with Franklin and encountering some nice kids who were smoking a doobie, but they didn't offer to share.

One tale always leads to another so I was thinking about the time I got uninvited to the Homecoming dance because I smoked pot.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a little crush for a while on this guy named G. He was pretty good looking and intelligent and was rapidly killing his brain cells with all the pot he smoked. The next year when I was a junior, and he was a senior, he suddenly returned my interest, which I had lost but regained when he gave me this look that I now know didn't mean Oh wow, you are so hot and so intelligent. It meant: Do I have a chance of getting laid?

And no, he didn't.

So we were at a party and G. asked if I wanted to go with him to get some beer, so I said sure. I wonder if he was 18. I know I was too young to buy it, although I did all the time. Then when we returned to the party, before I could get out of the car, he leaned over and kissed me. Imagine the little girlish squeal that was going off inside my brain because this cool senior kissed me.

Instead of going back into the party, we stayed outside by the front door, making out, so everyone entering or leaving kinda got the feeling we were together. G. drove me home from the party and on the way he asked if I would go to the Homecoming dance with him. It was coming up in about three or four weeks. I said, Aieeeeeeeee! YES YES YES I WILL GO WITH YOU. Actually that was internal monologue because I just said something intelligent like O.K.

So all of a sudden G. and I were a couple. He came over to my house to make out and we walked around school with our arms around each other. I don't remember why I was dressed in what kind of looks like an army uniform in this photo of us, but girls will be girls.

Girl Soldier KissThen G. and I went to another party. We were playing pool and I really didn't know how, so every time G. turned around to talk to somebody this guy named J.T. would help me get the ball in the pocket.

We finished our game and I sat down at a table to drink a beer. I was sitting next to T., who now went to college and was on my favorites list. Oi! Such blue eyes he had and he wore nice shirts with his initials embroidered on them and he didn't wear a watch. He had a pocket watch. He was sooooo cool.

So I was sitting there talking to T. and all of a sudden I realized G. had disappeared. Where's G? Nobody knew. Some of his friends were gone too. So T. said to me, You wanna go smoke a joint with D. and me?

I said, Sure.

So we walked to a nearby park and smoked a joint.

We got back and G. was there and he looked kinda pissed. What could be wrong?

He said he was ready to leave so we got in the car and drove to my house and on the way he said something I don't exactly remember, but the gist of it was that he uninvited me to the Homecoming dance. Again, I said O.K.

And that was the end of us. Apparently he didn't like it that when he went off to smoke a joint, which was what he was doing, I went off to smoke a joint.

Ah, the never ending double standard.

I guess if I hadn't gone to pot, maybe I would have married G., and I probably would have gotten divorced a lot sooner because he turned into a rabid Republican. I certainly couldn't have tolerated that.

Anyway, G., in the words of the great Lesley Gore: You don't own me. Don't say I can't go with other boys . . . to smoke dope.

Infinities of love,

Lola

P.S. I'm convinced G. turned into a Republican because of pot-induced brain cell loss.

29 comments:

  1. HA! Fun post, but I kinda think some of the stick-up-their-butt republicans might IMPROVE their beady little minds if they smoked a joint every now and then. I mean, heck, why not pass 'em around Congress? Bet they'd get some work done THEN! They'd knock it out lickety split so they could go scarf down some pizza and twinkies.

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  2. Ah, the good old days – when choices and pot were abundant and readily available!
    (Perhaps you should have married T…?)

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  3. haha what a little pot head. Things really went to pot huh? Kind of like the pot calling the kettle black..hahaha

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  4. Hey, I'm a republican. And I have all my brain cells! :)

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  5. The double standardsss...don't you love them? hahaha

    and, really, a pocket watch? I couldn't help but giggle at that. :P

    Love this story. Very entertaining!

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  6. Where was Q while all this pot smoking was going on?

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  7. Susan, That's very funny.

    R, Ya can't beat Lesley Gore, who was very popular, uh, before I was even born.

    Beth, T. never asked. In fact, I don't think he ever married.

    Pat, Good one.

    Princess, As I told Beth, I don't think he ever married. He has a business: custom-made guitars. Yes, with his own two little hands that he used to use to paw me, he makes guitars. It's too bad we never really shared our love of music with each other. He played the guitar and sang -- badly.

    Betsy, I suspect you weren't a pot head like G. And I know lots of Republicans who have their brain cells. But G. became a lobbyist.

    Ms. Fun, I hope the double standard isn't as bad now. And I don't know why I thought it was so cool that he had a pocket watch, but he was the only person I knew who had one. It probably makes us sound old enough to be your grandparents, but we're merely old enough to be your parents.

    Trooper, Q. spent a long time in the bathroom and came out with some white stuff on his nose. I never knew what he was up to.

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  8. ok...but you said he turned into a Republican because of the pot-induced brain cell loss. I'm sure it wasn't meant as a compliment to him ...or me. Just sayin'. :)

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  9. I tried pot once as an adult just to see what it was like--I didn't like it. I am definitely NOT a Republican, but my brain cells seems to be disappearing with age. I don't seem to be able to concentrate as well as I used to. My mind tends to wander. Now I.....Who's calling, please?

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  10. Betsy, I don't have anything against Republicans in general. It was just a humorous way of making a point about him. I apologize if I offended you or any other Republican. I usually don't vote a straight Democratic ticket just because I'm a Democrat, and for a long time, I was a Republican. I loved Reagan and I've had a crush on Bob Dole just about forever. Besides, much of what I write is the product of my imagination and then Lola tells the stories. I blog for fun, and for therapy -- not to tell absolute truths about myself.

    Fran? Fran? Are you there? If you are, I was not much of a smoker. I never bought pot and never rolled a doobie. Just dated a few guys who did.

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  11. LOL! That pot saved your life. ;)

    Oh and "you're the one who took me to a Beck concert" LOL classic ;) I love that.

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  12. Ooh, that cheap Republican shot. Ouch!

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  13. Flashback**Flashback**

    What a hoot. Fun days then and even though we smoked pot it was still innocent I think.

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  14. Elisa, I'm not so sure the pot saved my life. I married someone much worse, who is a Democrat. And be sure to introduce your children to the odor of weed so they'll recognize it when they see and smell it. Then they'll go to Sunday School and say, Yesterday Mommy taught us all about how to roll a doobie and smoke it.

    You'll get over it, Allen. This isn't an anti-Republican blog -- it's just one post about something that kind of happened a long time ago. I see anti-Liberal stuff on blogs quite often and I usually take it with a grain of salt, or I just don't read it.

    My 2 Pesos, No se. Pura Vida!

    Barb, I think it was more innocent then. A lot of the kids in our crowd smoked pot and/or cigarettes, but no one used any other kind of drug. We drank a bit, but never so much that someone got sick.

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  16. Christopher, I'm so sorry. Were you in a nasty country? Was prison really horrible, like don't bend over to pick up the soap in the shower? Or did you just not take showers? I'm happy you are out now and they didn't want to make you stay forever and ever because you're so much fun.

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  17. Well that hardly seemed right. I steadfastly held off on smoking pot until I got out of high school and didn't drink alcohol until I was 21 since it wasn't legal to do so--the pot part I was doing to rebel and actually I was doing personal research. I refused to go to any high school dances because I thought they were kind of dumb, not to mention I was pretty shy too.

    You had a fun story here.


    Lee
    Wrote By Rote

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  18. Aaaah the good old days when pot made you giggle and have the munchies. Nowadays, the shit they grow is so potent, it made my son vomit. Poor thing says he'll never smoke dope again. Darn that nasty pot.
    PS: I wuv you Wola, your comments make me smile and laugh out loud! xoxo

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  19. I used to be millionaire, then I smoked pot. D:

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  20. hi just registered ,, tinas

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  21. Welcome Arlee! Yeah, school dances pretty much sucked since I couldn't and still can't dance. I looked at your "main" blog. I'll sign up to follow, and I hope you'll follow me. I want 100 followers for Christmas and I'm almost there.

    Melynda, I know. Only Lola.

    I wuv you too, Sandwa. Gwad you waugh. And I'm so sorry for your son. The fun he'll miss. Someone I Love's college boyfriend smoked really potent pot in Amsterdam; he said words had colors. Words didn't have colors with old school pot.

    Interwebs, If you've stopped smoking, I'm sure you can get the million back. Let me know when you have it. I have the perfect investment for you.

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  22. HA! How in the world do you make me laugh out loud every time? I LOVE how you wrote this. And so it seems you're not as innocent as I had originally thought. THANK GOD. I can't wait to see what else you reveal..:) And hey...G sounds like a knob. lol..I have ALWAYS wanted to use that word in a sentence.

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  23. I'm now following. I think you'll make your 100. Merry Christmas.


    Lee
    Journaling Woman at my memoir blog
    starting Saturday 12/17/2011 with a special giveaway!
    Wrote By Rote

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  24. Rita, So glad I could provide the opportunity for you to use "knob," and I'm glad you laughed.

    Lee, Thank you!

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