AMERICAN ENGLISH

Gentle Readers,

Someone I love who is not my child yet calls me mom and doesn't want me to write about her has provided me with interesting information about the different uses of the English language in the United States and England. Not My Child earned a master's degree in England and returned with British Boyfriend.

N.M.C. told me about little things like a cell phone being called a mo-bile (long I), and an advertisement is an advert. She no longer experiences bad moods or anger; she's cross, but only occasionally.

I also heard Emma Watson (Hermione in the Harry Potter movies) talk about an error she made after starting school at Brown University. She went in the school bookstore and asked for a rubber.

Emma wanted an eraser.

I think I find it most interesting, though, that N.M.C. and British Boyfriend informed me recently that in England your fanny is not your rear end. The fanny is, uh, shhhh, send the children out of the room, a lady's private parts or twat or vaginal arena or vijay-jay or the c-word or pussy or snatch or genitals or beaver or bearded clam or quim. 


There. I think I've gotten that out of my system.

I'd never heard of bearded clam or quim before. I found them in my beloved Roget's Super Thesaurus. Perhaps those are other British expressions. But fanny is listed as a synonym for butt.

Anyhoo, fanny certainly gives new meaning to the expression "my aunt's fanny," which I intend to use far more often, especially if I get another teaching job, because I shall giggle privately when I say it. And of course, some women (I've never met one - they are always in movies) proudly bear the name Fanny.

I wonder if some screenwriter knew what was what when dubbing a character Fanny.

I suspect so.

Always look for the naughty in people.

Infinities of love,

Lola