Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
Here I am, a nice old lady who grew up in Kansas, someone who has never used a curse word and has remained a virgin so long she could be a nun, yet somehow I won last year's FREAKIN' GREEN ELF SHORTS COMPETITION, when it was held by none other than that nasty man whore Mistress Maddie (click on the link to see how Mads held the competition).
So now it's my turn to present the photo captioning competition for the shorts, but I've run into a problem. I've had the box with the shorts for months and the box is pretty on the outside, but I was too afraid to open that Pandora's box of pestilence, pain, and fleas without personal protective gear. My hazmat suit was on backorder from Ralph Lauren for months.
But, finally, it arrived, and tomorrow, the bacteria-laden things will be out of the box and contaminating some poor soul's ass. It's your job to bring your clever captioning skills to the photo you'll see here, same bat time, same bat channel.
Even with my hazmat suit, I'm afraid.
Infinities of love and hatred of the germs,
Janie Junebug
Oh, you tease! I have to wait until TOMORROW to see you. model them?
ReplyDeleteI said before it might not be me. It could be a very special guest star who wears those very special shorts.
DeleteIt's a Christmas Terror!
ReplyDeletexoxo
The Florida Chainsaw Nightmare On Royal Avenue
DeleteI love this competition and, were I to participate, I'd be guaranteed to win because I'm simply that clever... or is it clearly that simple? But it's so expensive to ship to and from Spain that I'll bow out and give others a chance. Besides, we're finally crab-free and all out of Nix.
ReplyDeleteYou can always create a caption and say you're not innit to winnit. I want to be so in awe of your cleverness that I faint from joy.
DeleteOh, I wouldn't want you to faint and I wouldn't want anyone else to feel less clever.
DeleteYou're the most generous man I've ever met, Mitchell.
DeleteYes, I am. You're welcome.
DeleteThat's the third time you've made me smile today.
DeleteThis is SO intriguing, Janie. Love the video! ☺
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty exciting, Debbie. You'll be shocked by the wearer of the shorts.
DeleteI am captionless as I visit this morning but look forward to seeing other people's creativity. I think.
ReplyDeleteBe afraid, EC. Be very afriad. Captions will be forthcoming after the photo is published tomorrow.
DeleteNo clue what this is all about, but you are obviously having fun with it. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's about trouble and misery, that's what it is, and about germs and all sorts of nasty bugs that have invaded my house along with the shorts.
DeleteYuck!!!
DeleteDon't worry--it's all in good fun.
DeleteAnd just think of the rare elite and legendary club of which your now apart of. They have literally traveled d the globe!
DeleteThere's a very splendid "Continuing History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts" at Rimpy's blog that should explain all :)
DeleteOK, back tomorrow for "good fun".
ReplyDeleteAnd don't you love that I sent them Priority mail?
ReplyDeleteCan you tell I wanted those things out of my house stat!!!!!!
Now I know why you were in a rush to get rid of them.
DeleteOh! Yay! The FGES are back!!! And on video, too. I don't think they've ever been filmed before, Janie, so this is a first!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love your hazmat suit. I wish I had one like that when I had the "pleasure" of wearing the 'Shorts.
I spent quite the pretty penny for that suit.
Delete