I went outside Tuesday morning and I don't know how it happened, but I got all wet and dirty. Right in my own backyard. I don't go running around the neighborhood on my own like some dogs.
As soon as I went inside, Mom said, Franklin! You stink like poop!
I did not stink like poop, and I still don't. A little mud never hurt anybody. But Mom keeps wanting to give me a shower. Thank God she's too sick to make me get in the shower with her because I hate having all that gross sweet smelling shampoo rubbed into my fur. Then it takes so long for me to get dry afterwards.
So, do me a favor, please. Put your face up close to the screen with the light where you see a picture of me. Get up really close to the picture of me that shows my face up close and take a big, deep sniff. Then tell Mom there's nothing wrong with the way I smell.
She keeps following me around with a bottle of cologne and squirting me with it. It's so embarrassing. Please, don't anybody tell Miss Sophie about my predickerment.
Franklin the Bordernese