I don't usually post on Saturdays, but I've decided to this week because. Because it's raining and raining and raining.
We've been having unusually nice weather. I've only had to turn on the AC twice during the past month, and only used it for about 24 hours each time. For the most part, we've had pleasant sunny days and cool nights.
And then it started raining Thursday night, and it's still raining. My backyard isn't just a pond. It's a lake.
I think it's safe to say that our spring rains have begun.
When we have serious rain, the frogs croak ALL NIGHT LONG. They're so loud that it's hard to sleep. Plus, they say things with those croaky noises. I wrote about this last year, and some of you scoffed at me; but I am telling you, these frogs talk. And talk and talk and talk.
Last night I was having a little trouble deciphering what the frogs were saying to me. One group seemed to croak AMP, while another group croaked ER. Amper? Were they trying to say hamper? Did they think I was letting the laundry pile up?
Finally I realized they were saying DAMPER. Apparently some frogs were telling other frogs which part of the yard was damper. I don't know if they wanted to be in the wettest area, or if they were hoping to find dryer ground. If they want dryer, then they should go to Hot Young Anthony's house. He had a fancy drain put in his backyard last year.
I am so jealous of that drain. I can't have a fancy drain because
- I can't afford one.
- My backyard doesn't have a place for a drain because of the concrete on one side that leads to the garage and a huge tree stump on the other side.
- The reasons I don't have a place for a drain don't matter, because I can't afford one. You damn people refuse to buy my perfectly adorable t-shirts in my CafePress shop, so the hell with you all.
- Uh, where was I?
- Oh, yeah. I can't afford a fancy drain.
Okay. So I knew the frogs were saying damper. I got up to take an antihistamine and a couple million Valium, and then I tried again to sleep. I managed to get in a couple of hours before they woke me again by croaking WHORE! WHORE!
What? How dare they! Sweet Young Allison is pregnant. But they were talking about me, weren't they? I certainly hope so.
Anyfrog, I am tired. I hope for a little peace tonight, and I wish you all the same.
On Monday, be here for my review of Divine Temptation by the adorable Nicki Elson. You can go ahead and order the book right now. You don't have to wait for the review because I'll give you a hint: I LOVE DIVINE TEMPTATION!!!!!!!!!
Was I subtle enough for you? You can purchase Divine Temptation on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Divine-Temptation-Nicki-Elson/dp/1623420083. Wow! Only one left in stock, but more are on the way. Cool beans, Vebarino.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebugged by frogs
Your frogs must be foreigners--mine say "Ribbet"!!
ReplyDeleteI have never heard a frog say anything so mundane as ribbet. I have fascinating frogs.
DeleteI've always dreamed of my private little lake. Sounds romantic. Except for the croakity-croak sounds, that is. Just imagine they're all handsome princes.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they are handsome princes, just like you, my blue friend.
DeleteThere is a frog orchestra in my room too.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of calling them an orchestra, my oceangirl.
DeleteWe have been in drought so long I'd almost forgotten what the frogs sounded like, although I did almost step on one going down the steps at work the other day. Startled me so that I screamed, and now there are some 8th graders that think I'm afraid of frogs. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteThey might want to "surprise" you with a frog now, but there aren't many days left to do that. : )
DeleteYou can send some of that rain our way! It is way too dry over here on the West Coast. I haven't heard a frog talk since I left New Jersey! But we do have desert toads here, but I don't think they talk. Haven't heard one.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could send rain to you, Inger. You can also have the lake in my backyard.
DeleteAt least they aren't saying 'Budweiser'.
ReplyDeleteThat would be more than I could take. I'd probably run down the road screaming.
DeleteYou are far too good to me, Janie Junie. :)
ReplyDeleteHot young Anthony is so smart and rich. I can't believe those frogs were so wrong about you...but then, it's probably difficult for their froggish tongues to form "skank," eh?
The frogs can call me whatever they want. I certainly have a few choice names for them. It's still raining!
Delete:-)
ReplyDeleteBack at ya, Beth.
DeleteMaybe you need a new T-shirt. Janie Needs A Drain. Send Money. Or, I Contributed to the Janie Drainage Fund.
ReplyDeleteOne of those may very well appear in my shop, susie.
DeleteI'm always amazed how even the tiniest frogs can croak loud enough to wake the dead.
ReplyDeleteI know. These are not big frogs.
DeleteWe have thousands of bull frogs here as well... all summer they sing.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I love it.... it almost makes me sad in the fall when most of them have succumbed to coyotes and raccoons.
Mine are so loud they sound as if they're in the bedroom with me. It's too much.
DeleteYOu kiss one of them frogs, maybe it's Aaron Aaron Schwartz wanting to turn into a prince....lol. Your backyard sounds frogntastic....ok, I better stop know, but you sure croak me up...ok, I'm done for for real now...:)
ReplyDeleteNo frog kissing for me, and Elvis Aaron Schwarz has left these parts for another job.
DeleteDialogue of the frogs, sounds like good book title to me.
ReplyDeleteYou write it; I'll edit it.
DeleteI missed this one! I'm glad I came back and read it, because it had me laughing hysterically :) I am so dang jealous of your talking frogs! All I have is chirping birds that start about 3am. No words, just annoying chirps. Well, actually the chirps are rather pretty, but at 3am they are most definitely not welcome!
ReplyDeleteI seldom hear a chirp, which is sad. Jacksonville is full of feral cats because of the rats, so the cats also kill the birds.
DeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need some dry days and sunshine over there. I like frogs and crickets and toads singing their nighttime songs--but not when they're so close and loud that they keep me awake--LOL! ;)
ReplyDeleteThe sun has finally come out, but it will take weeks for the lake in my backyard to dry up. I dare say we'll have more rain before the lake has a chance to go away.
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