RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS BLOGFEST: HOW I ACQUIRED MY MIDDLE CHILD

Thanks to Elisa at The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom, this week many of us are writing posts that celebrate random acts of kindness that have been bestowed on us.

So I've been thinking and pondering, pondering and ruminating, ruminating and cogitating. What would I write about on Monday, the most important day of the blogfest? Elisa will provide links to today's posts for everyone who signed up for the blogfest. Later, she'll use these posts so her company, Wayman Publishing, can put out an anthology filled with stories of all the love and kindness we've experienced, and the money earned by the anthology will go to charity.

Naturally, I want today's post to be extra special. But I have a problem. I don't really believe in randomness.

Nope, not what I believe.

I believe everything happens for a reason. If we don't get in God's way, then if something is meant to be, it will be. And sometimes it will be even when we do get in His way.

So, pardon me, but I don't actually believe in random acts of kindness. I think these random acts happen for a reason, and the proof is in my middle child. I know she has a mom – a very good mom – but she was destined to become my child.

I don't know if I followed her first, or if she followed me first; but somehow we found each other. I remember that her blog said her name was Elisabeth, but I noticed in the comments that many people called her "Elisa." I was very surprised. Elisa was my Norwegian grandmother's name. I had never met anyone else named Elisa.

I became an avid reader of Elisa's blog, and she caught me by surprise again because she often said how funny my posts were. I was going through my "Lola" stage then, and could be a bit pornographic at times. Eventually, we got to know each other well enough that I wrote a post that was an open letter to Elisa and her then-neighbor Melynda, who were involved in a prank war with Elisa's brother, Shane. It's the only post I've ever written that made ME laugh out loud.

Our relationship became closer and closer. Eventually, we started emailing each other privately, and then talking on the telephone. I was honored when Elisa asked me to edit one of her memoirs, Homeless In Hawaii, 

Elisa opened up new worlds to me by asking me to write for anthologies published by Wayman, asking me to edit, talking to me about her family and her business. All of a sudden I was no longer the lonely recently divorced lady I had been. I was Elisa's friend!

But then one day I mentioned that Favorite Young Man (my son) was 32. Elisa said, Oh! He's older than I am. I'm 29!

You're exactly the right age to be my middle child, I told her, because The Hurricane is 25.

Soon I was referring to her as Middle Child and signing my comments on her blog as "Your Mother From Another Planet."

One day I was worried about something, fearful of something that I can't reveal here. Elisa emailed me, Oh, Janie, don't worry. You're family!

What an act of kindness – to be accepted as a family member by someone I've never met in person. It's part of the miracle of our blogging world that so many of us can become such close friends although we live in different parts of the country, or even different parts of the world.

But the act of kindness I most want to celebrate today occurred last summer. August 21st is always a difficult day for me. It's my no-longer-a-wedding anniversary. I told Elisa in an email why I was sad.

The phone rang. It was Elisa, a little breathless and excited. She said, Janie, you don't have to be sad ever again on August 21st. We'll turn it into the anniversary of the day we adopted each other!

So this summer on August 21st, I won't be morose and crying to my dogs. I'll be celebrating the new and wonderful family I've acquired.

I have more good news, too. I hope to buy a plane ticket soon. This summer, I'll spend a few days with my middle child and her husband and my grandchildren.

Elisa and I often talk about the fact that our relationship was meant to be. We also know a third blogger we consider to be Elisa's grandmother, so I sent this woman a Mother's Day card, because she must be MY mom.

Elisa has changed my life with "random" acts of kindness, and now I look forward to every day.

We'll meet at last!
(image stolen from Elisa's blog)