I am on LinkedIn, and have been for quite some time. I like being on LinkedIn. I don't think I've gotten any work because of my connections, but it keeps me up to date with people I've known over the years.
However, LinkedIn gave me an unpleasant surprise recently.
I invited a few people I know to connect with me. One of them sent me an email saying that she's not on LinkedIn anymore because when she was, they took over her address book and sent invitations
I could understand her desire not to have anything else to do with LinkedIn, and I started to worry.
Then it happened. Suddenly I was connected to some people I hadn't invited, and one blogger friend sent me an email saying that I should connect with her at her work email address. I told her I hadn't sent her the invitation. She told me she'd been getting a lot of connection requests of late and she had noticed a place on LinkedIn where you could give permission for them to invite everyone on God's green Earth to connect with you.
I remembered some small print next to the connection requests I'd sent. Apparently, I gave LinkedIn permission to invite everyone I've ever emailed to connect with me.
That means "I" sent requests to such people — and I use the term "people" loosely — as Dr. X and Mr. Asswipe Bastard, the principal who fired me so I can never get another teaching job.
Oy gewalt, as the Mama (Sherry Ellis) sometimes says.
However, some good has come out of this. I am now connected to a lot of people I like, and some I have admired from a distance, such as poet Sharon Doubiago. Why Sharon Doubiago accepted a request to be connected to me, I'll never know, but she did.
|Sharon Doubiago, I have a crush on you|
but only in a heterosexual way.
Or, this one:
So now that I've worked in Ryan Gosling, I'll try to get to my point, if I can keep from passing out because look at the way he's looking at me from that photo. Those are "I wanna make sweet love to you" eyes.
The point . . . the point is . . . oh, stop Ryan, I belong to Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
No, not Mr. Darcy. Colin Firth, stop giving me that same look that Ryan Gosling is giving me. Think of something else. Think of something else.
All right. Now I can continue. LinkedIn needs to be limited. I don't want to leave you, LinkedIn, but you have to get rid of that little tiny print you're using to trick us into giving you permission to invade our lives and embarrass us.
Elvis Aaron Schwarz agrees with me.
So does the Men's Olympic Crew Team.
And so does Dixie the Rottweiler.
LinkedIn, don't make me leave you. You need to have limits.
Infinities of love,