Friday, August 10, 2012

MOVIE MOVIE WEEKEND

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I have two quick movie reviews for your weekend, and I'm afraid I'm not too high on either one of these films.

First is Safe House, starring the dashing Denzel. It's a thriller, but it didn't thrill me all that much. I don't think I gasped even once while watching it.

It has quite a good cast; the acting is fine; but I want plot twists in a thriller. Some people might think this movie is twisty, but nothing really surprised me -- not even when colleagues attacked each other.

It's difficult for me to say definitively that you won't like this me, but I wasn't wild about it, in spite of the presence of Denzel. We should have better films for one of our finest actors.

Safe House has The Janie Junebug Seal of Meh.

Second is Wanderlust, starring Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd. Aniston and Rudd play New York-lovers who are forced to leave the city and end up joining a commune. The movie wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Too much free love for my taste.

I felt particularly annoyed by Alan Alda, playing an old geezer who helped found the commune. Alan Alda is much too vital to be believed as a somewhat senile old guy in a motorized wheelchair.

I also disliked the resident nudist, whose penis was on constant display. I simply do not want to look at a strange penis in my movies, and by "strange" I mean attached to a stranger. (Of course, strange could also mean weird, but the penis is not attached to Bill Clinton, who supposedly has a kink in his.)  Every time I looked, here was this guy's winkie staring at me. Bleah.

The movie amused me a bit at the end. I believe I even barked out a laugh. Again, I feel uncomfortable about disapproving of this movie because if you want to laugh at something silly this weekend, Wanderlust might be perfect for you. I guess I'm just in a meh mood because I also give this movie The Janie Junebug Seal of Meh.

Special note to Dee: I feel quite certain you would not like these movies.

I think you can find something better to watch. For example, the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics will be on this weekend. I hope it's better than the opening. I'm going to watch it and find out. No more Danny Boyle freaky babies, please. I'll also be reading, writing, and editing.

Onward, ever onward, rode the Junebug.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

26 comments:

  1. I too do not wish to look at penises in movies. Where did you hear about Clinton's kinky dick?

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    1. Clinton's penis was a topic of discussion during the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal. Supposedly his penis has a bend in it. Maybe it even does the twist.

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  2. Dear Janie, I laughed out loud and I'm still grinning at your cautionary note to me! And yes, you are so right--I wouldn't enjoy either movie. You've got me tagged! I order several movies with Aidan Quinn in them from the library. He is a favorite actor of mine and I'm looking forward to seeing him in "Plainsong" this weekend. The book, by Kent Haruf, is a personal favorite of mine and I'm thinking the movie will be excellent. Peace.

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    1. I love Aidan Quinn -- Goodness Gracious that man is handsome. He was so good in Legends of the Fall. I've heard of Plainsong but haven't read it. I hope you enjoy the movie.

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  3. No movies for us this weekend. But we are going to an annual Model A swap meet/car show tomorrow. That should be a blast. Hope you have a super weekend.

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  4. Well then, I guess I'll skip those movies and watch the closing ceremonies. Maybe the queen will do something entertaining, like jump out of a UFO.

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    1. I'd like it if the queen would sing and dance with Prince Charles and Camilla as her back-up singers. William, Harry, and Kate could dance. Prince Phillip could stand around watching with that big smile on his face that screams "I don't know where I am or who these people are."

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  5. I saw the first one, but not the second one. I wasn't surprised with the twist because Denzel always plays a good guy--LOL! It was okay. Nothing really memorable, but okay.

    I've found that if I am not in the mood for certain movies they fall flat and don't hold my interest. And I have especially had a really hard time with many of the comedies the past few years. They seem so juvenile. Low-low humor, you know?

    Have a fun weekend!! :)

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    1. Since I knew Denzel would be the good guy, that's why I said it didn't have twists. BUT remember Denzel was a bad guy in Training Day. Remember that? I think a lot of the comedies are really lowbrow, too.

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  6. yeah, wanderlust was okay. i laughed a few times. i liked the idea of the movie more i think.

    hahaha 'by strange i mean attached to a stranger'

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    1. Wanderlust sounded as if it could be funny, but it just didn't live up to the concept.

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  7. Funny. Female nudity doesn't bother me in movies but male does. Weird, right?

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  8. Isn't it because the female form is much more beautiful than the penis?

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  9. LOL, I don't think I would enjoy either of these movies too, but I can stand a bit of Denzel at times, depending on what he is in. But I find people like him and Tommy Lee Jones are always kind of typecast into doing the same type of movie.
    I love horror movies, but intelligent ones...not slashers or nude women screaming around. Why don't they use their brain?

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    1. I wish a lot more people who make movies would use their brains, but I guess as long as they make money, they have no reason to change.

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  10. You had me laughing very hard OUT LOUD several times here.

    Examples?

    "Safe House has The Janie Junebug Seal of Meh."

    The note to Dee.

    as well as

    "and by "strange" I mean attached to a stranger"

    You will always be a rock star!

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    1. All my life I've wanted to be a rock star and now I've finally made it!

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  11. I'd just like to know WHERE people rent movies these days. All of the movie rental places have shut down in...well, pretty much Canada. And Netflix in Canada is a joke, so I'm destined to never see an older movie ever again. Then again, according to what you told Dee, I'm not gonna miss much by missing these.

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    1. Do you have Blockbuster by mail? I don't like them as much as Netflix, but maybe they're better in Canada. What about Red Box? Do you have those? Apparently, you have better health care access and we have better movie access.

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  12. Well Wanderlust looks silly to me from the cover itself. So might not bother with it.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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    1. "Silly" is the perfect word to describe it, PAPS.

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  13. I refuse to watch anything with Angelina Jolee or Jennifer Aniston. Now that I think about it...doesn't say much for Brad's choice of women, huh.

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    1. I liked it way, way back when Brad was with Gwyneth Paltrow. They looked like a golden couple. Frankly, now I don't care what Brad does.

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  14. I'm on my way to watch Wanderlust due to your peepee reference....I'll just fast forward through Jennifer's appearance.

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    1. It will be difficult to fast forward past Jennifer. She's in most of the movie. I'm sure you can find a winkie movie without Jennifer. I'm glad I know now that you're a winkie fan.

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