FLY BY

Gentle Readers,

I really hate it when I'm walking from the bathroom to the family room or from the family room to the bathroom or sitting in front of the computer or sitting in the family room reading a book and . . .

SOMETHING FLIES PAST ME AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS!


It really freaks me out and I hardly ever find anything flying around or dead on the floor later.

Quite some time ago I discovered a LIZARD in my house and it disappeared and . . .

I NEVER FOUND IT!


I know someone who had a BAT flying around in her house and it disappeared and . . .

SHE NEVER FOUND IT!


WHERE DOES THIS SHIT GO?


I just wanna know. Can someone please explain life to me? There's so much I don't understand and it's depressing me and I can't accomplish a fucking thing.

Infinities of love,

Lola

SETTLEMENT COMPETITION

Gentle Readers,

I had a nice long talk with my lawyer today.

I think we're finally past all the fa-la-la lawyer crap with my husband's attorney and we're about to get down to business.

My lawyer actually seems to take me seriously. He says reaching a settlement is not like buying a used car. We aren't going to go back and forth with numbers. He says my husband's offer is way too low (I told ya so). He calculated what I should receive based on an established formula.

And that's that.

So there.

We have a hearing coming up in a few days and I believe we'll start to see some progress then. I'll keep you informed to the best of my ability, but I can't let you see my cards so no sneaking around to look over my shoulder.

Love,

Dumped First Wife

SETTLEMENT COMPETITION

Gentle Readers,

A few weeks ago I mentioned the sad and lowly settlement offer my husband made. It was so pitiful it needed a bath with a good scrubbing, clean clothes, and then a healthy meal with fine wine.

We have made a little progress.

My husband had SAID he was going to pay my attorney's fees. But, stupid me, I didn't get it in writing. Learn from me children. Get everything in writing.

So when I told my husband I had received a bill from my lawyer, he said he had sent an email to his lawyer and he would get back to me about it. What? Why didn't he just send the lawyer a check?

Ah, not in writing. We have a written maintenance agreement, he said after consulting his lawyer. I'm not giving you any other money. You have to pay your bills out of the maintenance money.

His lawyer then sent my lawyer a letter stating that every time something breaks around the house that I can't ask my husband for money.

What's broken is my husband's frickin' ability to follow through on what he says.

No way was I going to pay my lawyer. Why should he do anything if he knows I'll give up little luxuries like eating and electricity in order to pay his bill?

My lawyer then sent his lawyer a letter stating that I can't be expected to live on X amount of dollars and still pay attorney's fees.

My husband then agreed to pay Y number of dollars for attorney's fees. The court ordered that he is to pay it by a certain date next month.

Of course, I'll get charged - and then he'll get charged - even more money because my lawyer charges for writing that letter and his lawyer charges for reading it and both lawyers charge big bucks for appearing in court for five minutes.

Ultimately, it would cost my husband less money if he just paid the bill in the first place.

But, somehow the logic of the situation escapes him.

The logic of many situations escapes him.

It's part of his illness, which he could conquer, or at least get a bit better, if he took his medicine. But oh he's so brilliant, he can get away with all the crap he does. His parents once said that they didn't do anything about - mmm, I can't recall the word they used so let's say oddities on his part - because he was so gifted.

Remember my discussion of psychopathy? Cunning and manipulative.

Today we have on the court docket Appearance v. Reality.

Love,

Dumped First Wife