MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I wish you all great joy on this Christmas Eve. Sweet Cheeks will be here tonight for ham and scalloped potatoes.

We had a party at work yesterday that, happily, was not a pot luck. It was catered. We ate our little hearts out and then had a gift exchange that had us all laughing. We even got to leave early, and today is a paid holiday. I am happy to be with Franklin and Penelope who did not complain about not rising at 6 a.m.

A lovely young lady came by with her two daughters and accepted my offering of children's books and Christmas cookies. I baked several kinds.

Sweet Cheeks shocked me last weekend by telling me he does not like my homemade cookies. People rave about my cookies, I told him.

I don't like cookies with things in them, he said. 

This statement mystified me for a moment. Things? Butter? Eggs? Cockroaches? What things had he found in my cookies that offended him? 

It turned out he doesn't like bits of candies in cookies. He also doesn't care for chocolate cookies or sugar cookies. He does like oatmeal raisin cookies (he is not disturbed by the fact that raisins look like dead flies), and he likes peanut butter cookies as long as nothing is added to them, such as chocolate chips.

So I am about to whip up a batch of peanut butter cookies for my dear Sweet Cheeks. He had damn well better eat them and like them.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

IT'S ALL FUN & GAMES TILL SOMEBODY'S EYE GETS POKED OUT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Yesterday I passed an exam that allowed me to obtain the necessary credentials for my job. About half of us passed. I'm grateful to be one of them. The exam was quite difficult.

So I'm starting to return to holiday life. I've baked one kind of cookie, and I hope to bake a lot more Friday evening and Saturday. This evening I addressed Christmas cards, although I'm not sending as many as usual. 

I'm very happy to tell you that the folks in my new workplace are all polite and friendly––no shouts, threats, or harassment, and I'm certain that kind of behavior would not be tolerated. It's a delightful surprise after my last job.

Franklin and Penelope were shocked the first day I rose at 6 a.m. and left them on their own for the day, but they adjusted quickly. Their Auntie Maureen comes over every day to let them out and give them some attention. 

A reminder for jewelry lovers: Maureen makes adorable jewelry and sells it at 

Made with love earrings and more - Home | Facebook

You might need a gift for someone, or better yet, a gift for yourself, especially after you see what other people spring on you.

Almost every day I wear Christmas earrings made by Maureen.

I'll try to return to at least semi-regular blogging soon. I have a great story to tell about my recent mammogram, or boob squishing as I prefer to call it.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I love this shot of Franklin and Penelope because she 
actually leaned over him and kissed him on the mouth.

STUDY TIME

 Dear Hearts,

My new job requires credentials I've never had before, so I need to study. If all goes well, I'll be with you again in a couple of weeks.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS BUT NOT WORKING OVERTIME

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Remember when Blogger told us that following blogs by email would end over the summer? It hasn't happened. Is it a way of lulling us into complacency and then suddenly slapping us with the loss? 

Do some of you who comment here have blogs that I'm not following? I look at profiles when they're available and don't always see a blog listed. If you follow/visit me, then I'd like to check out your blog. 

I continue to see that my comments don't always show up on your blogs, including when you don't have comment moderation enabled and I can see the comment before I depart. I swear I'm visiting you! Where do the comments go?

Do you have (American) Thanksgiving plans? I told Sweet Cheeks I will prepare a feast if he will join me. He accepted my invitation immediately, and I have already purchased most of the fixins.

A police officer knocked on my door last week. My son had to request that an officer accompany him so he could get more of his belongings from my garage. Everything went well. He is obeying the restraining order and has not disturbed my peace.

I received a summons for jury duty a while back. The first time I was to be there, I got in an accident on the interstate and had to call to explain why I hadn't arrived. The lovely lady who answered the phone for jury services told me it was okay and she would reschedule my service. The second time I was to be there, I dropped the hedge clippers on my foot the day before and had difficulty walking. The lovely lady rescheduled me for yesterday. On Friday I received a text and email telling me the court session was canceled and I did not need to appear. Hallelujah! 

Franklin's thyroid levels were checked again last week. The vet said they're spot on. With cooler temps, we're enjoying some long walks. Franklin no longer turns around to head for home after a short distance. Walking feels good, and it's good for us. 

If you decorate for Christmas, when do you set out your decorations? I usually decorate the day after Thanksgiving. I love the flashing of those pretty, little lights.

I hope you're having a great week.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

TWO MEN AND A LITTLE COW HUMOR

 With my friends at Two Men and A Little Farm, I can ponder such topics as, What do cows like to talk about when we can't hear them? and What do cows find humorous about people?

THANKS, TEXAS

 I intended to write this post about a week ago, but I didn't get to it after the flying hedge clippers attacked my foot, which is much better now although I still can't bend my big toe, but what does it matter? I don't need to bend my big toe.

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I often feel embarrassed by Florida. I don't consider myself a Floridian because I wasn't born here and didn't grow up here so I don't have Florida in my blood, but I have lived here since 2009. Therefore, in some way I'm part of Florida. I'm the crazy radical socialist snowflake libtard feminazi side of Florida, and sometimes I think I'm the only one playing that role.

Florida politics make me want to say no, run away, and tell someone. But each time I get the feeling that it can't get worse in Florida, Texas tends to come along to distract the world from my state and its inherent dumbness. We have Ron DeSantis, but they have Greg Abbott. We have Marco Rubio, but they have Ted Cruz. Hahahahaha! Does it get any worse than Ted Cruz?

Recently I rejoiced in Texas drawing attention with headlines that announced 

Texas School Administrator to Teachers: Teach “Opposing” Sides of the Holocaust

Gina Peddy,  executive director for curriculum and instruction for the Carroll Independent school district, made the announcement Oct. 8 at a training meeting for elementary school teachers to assist them in complying with Texas House Bill 3979, signed into law Sept. 1 by Gov. Abbott.

The bill––an important example of legislators deciding what students are taught in place of educators doing so––bans educators from exploring disputed issues in the realms of history, society, and politics. If controversial issues do come up, then teachers are to “explore such issues from diverse and contending perspectives without giving deference to any one perspective.”

Everything we learned in our history classes has an opposing side. The brave colonists fought the tyranny of the British and yada yada yada we have the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and George Washington and Benjamin Franklin, et al. 

Colonies = Good       England = Bad   

So if the subject should happen to come up, and it shouldn't because it has an opposing side, then the kids must learn 

Colonies = Bad          England = Good

The people of The Great State of Texas are going to love that one.

Slavery is certainly a controversial issue because it will most likely lead to the pesky topic of racism. After Black History Month in February, instead of Women's History Month in March, in Texas it should be Slavery Hall of Fame Month. Who were the greatest plantation owners? 

And those kids had better be taught about good ole President Thomas Jefferson and the many children he had with Sally Hemings, who no doubt loved Massa Jefferson so much that she was delighted to be his sex slave.

Then the teachers can move on to 

George Floyd = Bad   Derek Chauvin = Good

Reading a book about World War II and the brave Allies might be countered with Mein Kampf, in which a woke Hitler explains the need for German expansion and how awful those nasty Jews are.

A subset of World War II is the Holocaust, and the opposing side of the Holocaust is Holocaust denial. Teachers, be ready to hand out those adorable Camp Auschwitz t-shirts along with the book that argues The Diary of Anne Frank is a hoax.

Teaching students the opposing side of the Holocaust is to teach them that Hitler had valid claims and, therefore, prepare their minds to believe that Donald Trump's lies and the lies of Steve Bannon and Alex Jones, et al., are rational, justifiable points.

And that is simply not true.

Good luck, Children of Texas. You're gonna need it.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

NEXT YOU'LL BE CALLING ME MITCHELL

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I invoked Mitchell in my title because those of us who know and love Mitchell understand he's a wee bit accident prone. 

I had a little accident of my own a few days ago. I was removing some of the lower stems and fronds* from the large philodendron in my backyard because Franklin likes to hide under it when he attempts to stay out all night. I can't go to bed with my man out of the house. At 3 a.m. he'd probably change his mind and want to come in, which would lead to barking that would wake up everyone within 100 miles or so and I'd have to drag my sorry ass out of bed.

**

The big hedge clippers and I tried to cut through an especially sturdy stem and whoosh! The clippers rebelled and jumped out of my hands. If it had been a movie, they would have somersaulted in the air and landed blades down sunk in the ground right next to my feet. I don't know about you, but I don't live in a movie; therefore, the clippers landed with a thud on my right foot. I'm happy to say it was the handles and not the blades.

It hurt like a sonovabitch. I lowered my head and in my mind said terrible, nasty words. I didn't want to react in front of Franklin and Penelope because I knew they would be frightened if I yelled.

I limped to the garage, put away the clippers, and limped toward the house as I realized something wet was coming out of my foot. I had a cut on my big toe. I cleaned and bandaged it. It's healing. My foot is still swollen and very sore. I think my big toe is broken so I taped it to its sister toe and iced it regularly.

I've stayed in place as much as possible this week. I might be able to put on a shoe tomorrow, or at least a sandal.

I'm sorry I'm behind on responding to your kind comments and reading your blog posts. I have catching up to do and will do it as long as I can stay away from flying hedge clippers. For now, though, we're headed to bed.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

 *I have no idea if they're called stems and fronds but I don't know what else to call them.

**I took this photo in much wetter times. It's dry in the yard now and the weather is beautiful––sunny, blue skies, highs about 80 and lows around 70.

THANK YOU

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Thank you for the support you give me regularly, and especially now, regarding my son. Your comments are kind and they help me a lot.

If I could bake for each and every one of you, I would give you chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven and still warm, soft and gooey, and I'd pour a big glass of milk for you to enjoy with the cookies.

I am feeling rather sorry for myself. About an hour ago I learned that the job is probably not a real job. Yes, it exists and it pays, but it is not with the company itself, and therefore, is without the company benefits package. To be hired with the company, one must be "good enough" on the job. No promise exists about this happening with a certain time frame. It might be a few months and it might be never.

I guess I'll start looking again tomorrow. I haven't said I won't take the job, so if I don't find a real job with a real company, then I can still take this third-party job to make a few dollars. 

I always try to visit your blog posts a second time to see if you've responded to comments because it's nice to have a conversation. I have just finished my second visit to a number of blogs only to find that my comments are not there. I know I wrote the comments. I know they were published (if you don't moderate comments). So I don't know where they went. Anyfranklin, if you think I'm not visiting your blog, then think again. I'm trying.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT

Alas, Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell, 

You have disappointed me. I asked you for job suggestions. Although you came up with a few that were interesting, most of your offerings were quite pedestrian. 

Therefore, I have created my own list of jobs that would be a good fit for me––jobs for which my particular skillset would be appreciated. 

Here we go:

1. A Las Vegas residency that would allow me to dance around in a skimpy costume and warble into a microphone à la Britney Spears
2. Supermodel
3. Arbiter of Grammar, which would lead to me having led the citizens of the United States into correct use of past tense
4. Adviser to POTUS (and it is adviser; you only get to use advisor if you're British or Canadian) 
5. Best-selling author of a book that changes the world for the better and only takes five minutes to write.
6. International Superstar
7. Word maker-upper, especially for new prescription drugs 

And come on! What about Queen of the World?

Now if I can only figure out how to apply for one of these jobs and who does the hiring, I'll be all set.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

THE HUNT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I'm looking for a job. I can use the income and, even more important, the health insurance. My COBRA benefits will end soon.

It used to be that work-from-home schemes were exactly that: schemes, rip offs, whatever you want to call them. Now quite a few legitimate jobs are work from home. It would be nice to toil right here in the Little House On The Swamp. When I need a break, Penelope can take over and answer calls with a French accent.

I started applying Sunday night and posted my résumé on Indeed, which has brought a few inquiries my way. With the labor shortage, I should be able to find something quickly. Or is the labor shortage limited to certain restaurants, every fast-food drive-thru, and all the garbage hauling companies in the world? Those are the places I hear about all the time. I don't think I'll be joining the staff at Mickey D's anytime soon, and garbage pick up? I'd probably throw myself face down in the street and beg the driver to run over me so I could escape the stench and the uniform.

So what's the right job for me? What do you think I should be hired to do? 

Go ahead. Be creative.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I CHANGED MY PHONE NUMBER

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Several months ago I gave up the telephone number I'd had since 2009. I hoped I'd have more privacy with a different number, and I was fed up with certain phone calls.

One type of annoying call came from DirecTV. Their robocalls rang me every single day, sometimes as often as seven times. DirecTV wanted me to call because I qualified for 50% off on my account. I canceled DirecTV at the beginning of the year. I have no account. No matter how many numbers I blocked, DirecTV always got through, so I seldom answered my phone. Farewell, DirecTV.

The other calls began a few days after I got the phone number. They were for a woman named Lisa. I won't reveal her last name or where she lives, although she had no problem giving out my number as her own. Apparently, my number had been hers (I think) before it was mine, but she never stopped using it. At first, the calls were from angry bill collectors who didn't believe my protestations that I am not Lisa and never have been Lisa. Later, I received calls from companies that wanted to deliver furniture and other items she'd ordered, and people who wanted to confirm appointments with her, and on and on and on. I don't know if anyone was able to figure out how to get in touch with her.

Why did she give out a phone number that wasn't hers when she bought furniture? It mystifies me.

I even received text messages from her husband, who begged her to stop messing with his mother's phone. I texted back to tell him it wasn't her number. He was quite surprised.

Then the housing shortage began. In addition to calls and text messages from people who wanted to buy my house, I got calls and texts from people who wanted to buy her house. I have no idea if she actually lives there or just gives out the address as her own.

Whatever. 

I get a few calls at the new number for someone else who had it. But it's not as bad as getting calls for Lisa.

Buh-bye, Lisa.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Lisa and her husband can't find each other:

Lisa makes appointments:

Poor Lisa:

DOGGY WEATHER REPORT

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I awoke Thursday morning to a warm ball of Penelope curled against my lower back and knew the temperature had dropped. We're enjoying sun and lower humidity––what a relief after the heat of summer.

Franklin's thyroid number was too high, so he takes one pill per day now instead of two. He is a happy-go-lucky guy, as long as he doesn't have to get in or out of the car.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

DEAD ARMADILLO BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

 Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

On Aug. 19th when I said I needed to take a blogging break, I didn't know I'd be away so long. I still have a long to-do list, but I miss you too much to allow it to continue to keep me away from you.

I crossed one item off my list this morning. I got my flu shot.

On Monday I went to Costco and did indeed see roadkill armadillo. It was not pretty, but far worse appeared before my eyes inside Costco.

It's not even October!

I've done some cleaning and organizing around the house, including a lot of work on kitchen cabinets. These were stuffed. Now I can find things in them.

I also have new light gray sheets for my bed, a gigantic Sensorpedic pillow, and a StoriArts Little House On The Prairie blanket to take the place of my falling-apart quilt.

I love the blanket. It's so soft. 

The next item on the list is taking Franklin to the vet for a thyroid check. He's been on his meds for a month. I'm confident his level will be fine because he's so much livelier. He's even returned to dancing for his supper, which entails trotting backward while moving his front paws around as if he's tap dancing.

If it ever cools down, I hope he'll be willing to take longer walks. I can use some good walkies, too.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug