Thursday, September 6, 2012

THIS WEEK AT MY HOUSE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Is it Thursday already? The weeks go by so quickly when one is older than dirt.

Franklin goes to the groomer tomorrow. That will complete all the visits to the groomer for a while.
Franklin (dressed in black and white) telling Harper
that going to the groomer is ridiculous and he hates
getting up on that table and his fur is not dirty and he does not smell like a dog (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I even went to the groomer on Tuesday. Sam permed my hair and cut it. My pink and blue hair is still visible, although the colors have faded a bit. Oh, she waxed my eyebrows, too. I don't have anything else waxed. The thought of my woo-hoo visiting Brazil terrifies me.

Wednesday evening I was talking to Elvis Aaron Schwarz on the telephone, and I said, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, editing at home is the best job in the world. I sit in a comfortable chair with my feet up so they don't get swollen. I can work wearing my nightie with no panties underneath if I so choose. I don't have to put up with office politics. Yes, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, I said, this is the greatest job ever.

You wear a nightie and no panties? asked Elvis Aaron Schwarz. I wanna make love to you (he kinda has a one-track mind).

Actually, Elvis Aaron Schwarz told me he had to take someone very important to the hospital today for emergency surgery. He might not be available for dinner on Saturday night. It will depend on how this important person feels. I admire Elvis Aaron Schwarz for his devotion, and I will understand if he can't make it on Saturday night.

There will be other Saturday nights, but this important person may need Elvis Aaron Schwarz for the next few days and he's the kind of person who doesn't run out on his responsibilities.

Harper also has a sense of responsibility. At about 3 a.m. on Wednesday, Harper went outside and I could see he was trying to pounce on something in the front corner of the garage. He missed whatever it was and stayed at that corner for about an hour, holding a vigil. I went outside with some trepidation today, thinking I might find a dead rat, but nothing was there. May it stay that way.

People quite often ask me how I keep my skin so soft. Well, Elvis Aaron Schwarz says I have soft skin and smell good. I have to take very good care of my sensitive skin, and I do so using body butter and cream cleansers and other nice products from The Body Shop. I order from them online. Jax has a  Body Shop, but it's pretty far from my house.

Anyskin, The Body Shop had a great online Labor Day sale. I stocked up on hemp hand protectant, stuff to cleanse me in the shower, body butter to make Elvis Aaron Schwarz say I'm soft and smell good -- all that nice stuff that I need for my rashy, itchy, fiery skin.

I placed my order and then noticed that instead of having the order shipped to the billing address, I had accidentally left The Hurricane's house as the Ship To address because the last time I ordered from The Body Shop it was to send a gift to her. 

Gracious God! I cried. Please save me. If this order shows up at The Hurricane's house and she has to send it to me, she may attack Florida and thousands will die. I called The Body Shop immediately and couldn't get a human being on the phone.

So I called the next day and after waiting for about a year, a person deigned to speak with me. She said it was too late to change the shipping address (even though the status of the order said it was being processed and hadn't actually been sent). The Body Shop lady promised me that as soon as the package had a tracking number, she would call the shipping people and tell them to change the address on the package to mine. She was very polite, but haven't you noticed that if you order something online and you make a mistake it's darn near impossible to fix it?

I called The Hurricane and left a message stating that I was afraid she was going to be very angry with me and would she please call me and have mercy on me.

She called and was actually quite reassuring. She said that if the package ends up at her house, she'll find a way to get it to me.

I suggested she could give it to me for Christmas. That way I'll get exactly what I want.

So what if I pay for it myself? It's better than having The Hurricane attack an entire region.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

33 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Oh, thank you, oceangirl. Infinities of peace to you, too.

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  2. I assume Elvis Aaron Schwarz gets along with your furry children!

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    1. The furry children adore Elvis Aaron Schwarz. He talks baby talk to them, which confuses them, but they love him anyway. They don't understand how someone so large can be a baby.

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  3. I use Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Wash. Do not tell anybody this.

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    1. Your secret is safe with me. The Hurricane also uses the Tea Tree line. I prefer the Vitamin E line for my face because my skin is dry.

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  4. Wow! What a nice job you have.

    And, everyone loves soft skin. I'll have to buff mine first and then apply all those products you mentioned.

    I hope Saturday will be a good day for you even though your date won't be around. But I think you'll see him.

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    Replies
    1. You can also get body scrub from The Body Shop. It will exfoliate your skin. Getting rid of dead skin cells allows your skin to absorb moisture. Elvis Aaron might still be here on Saturday. It's just up in the air at the moment. I'll certainly keep everyone informed.

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  5. Life is busy in your panties wearing/non-panties wearing household!
    I love the smell of a freshly groomed dog!
    :)

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    Replies
    1. I'd like to buy a can of the stuff the groomer sprays on the dogs. I'd use it as my perfume.

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  6. Oops hope you get it to your address. But sorry I couldn't stop laughing.
    www.thougthsofpaps.com

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    1. Keep laughing, PAPS. It's better than crying.

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  7. Dear Janie, several times I've almost shipped, via some Internet company from which I'm ordering, something to another that is meant for me. Each time fortunately I've caught myself before tapping the key that completes the transaction. But oh! how easy it is to get lost in the maze of the selling page on the Internet. Peace.

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    1. The Hurricane told me she ordered a book from amazon recently and forgot to change the shipping address to the house where she now lives. Therefore, she sent a book to her former address and apparently the new occupant kept the book. This person must think The Hurricane is very gracious to send books to someone she doesn't know.

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  8. could not agree more, that no one's woo-hoo should have to visit Brazil - EVER!

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    1. I cannot imagine the pain. My woo-hoo would cry.

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  9. Body butter? Is that the same thing as cocoa butter? I had to use that on some scars when I was a kid. Didn't do all that much to improve the scars, but it sure did smell good. Not sure about that exfoliating stuff to get rid of dead skin. Suppose it's ALL dead? (Or at least so sluggish, it appears dead...)

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    Replies
    1. It's a lot like cocoa butter, but it comes in different scents and types according to whether your skin is oily, dry, or in between. You probably don't need to exfoliate unless your skin is pretty dry. I like the body scrub because it makes me less itchy. I have very sluggish skin. oh . . . now i'm thinking about slugs

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  10. lol remember when I was learning how to ship stuff and I accidentally send your order to my house then had to send it to you? You my friend have been through some dark and trying times with me. Speaking of dark and trying times.... Your comment said you want to edit for me again. Are you sure because I can tell you right now I'm in if you are!
    You need to get ahold of me when you are ready to order again. Oh thank the Hurricane for me. My bro's and nieces and nephews live in Fl. Glad they will be spared!

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    1. Don't worry -- I'll be in touch when I'm ready to order. And yes, I want to edit again. Just not until I'm finished with Homeless in Hawaii, which is coming along swimmingly.

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  11. By the grace of God we have managed to not do the shipping mix up while abroad which is a miracle since we have all of our families address in our paypal and they are in multiple States...it would be a nightmare! Hope you get your lovely skin softening lotions and potions soon so you can smell as good as your freshly groomed puppy ;)

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    1. A nice lady named Ethel called from The Body Shop earlier this afternoon. She said she had contacted UPS and changed the shipping address to mine. Ethel, I love you! I told her I had just been blogging about The Body Shop and she said she wants to blog and she asked me how to get started. We had a lovely chat. My lotions and potions should be here soon, so I can keep Elvis Aaron Schwarz saying, You are so soft and you smell so good. He smells good, too. He said it was just his deoderant, but my, he smelled luscious.

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  12. Elvis Aaron Schwarz sounds like a very complimentary man. Keep using your lotions. Soft skin is a good thing!

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    1. Being soft helps make up for the millions of mosquito bites I suddenly have. I've been staying indoors to avoid the bastards, but one is hanging out in my bedroom and biting me while I sleep. I can't seem to kill him no matter how hard I try.

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  13. When I see your furchildren, my imagination also sees MY furchild in their mouths.

    Why didn't you tell Hurricane that it's a box of your old used condoms and it was going to be her inheritance, but you changed your mind and want them back for the memories. Dumb Jane.

    I've NEVER used lotion. I'm the ONLY female who can say that and my skin feels like 30 grit sandpaper. But my face is wrinkle free.

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    1. My furchildren would never hurt your child. We've had chihuahuas in the house and every single one left here without a scratch. The boys look at small dogs as if they are something fascinating from another planet. Used condoms. Why don't I ever have such good ideas? Oh, how The Hurricane would scream if I told her such a thing. Then she'd roar down on the entire country, leaving us all in ruins. Congratulations on feeling like sandpaper. My face is as soft as a baby's butt and looks just like one. Only one crack down the middle.

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  14. I hope the product arrives in time for you to keep smelling and feeling good for Mr. EAS. And I hope you get to go on your date on Saturday. :)

    For the last year I've been getting my armpits waxed. I love it so much, maybe too much.

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    Replies
    1. Armpits never even occurred to me. That area is kind of tender. I wonder how much it would hurt and how soon I'll get to find out.

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  15. I used cocoa butter when I was pregnant to prevent stretch marks and it really worked well! After reading your post I think I need more butters and lotions. ;)

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    1. They do feel good, Rita. I especially like The Body Shop's cream cleansers. I get clean and shiny, but no dry feeling like soap.

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  16. Why aren't my comments showing up?????????? this is crazy!

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    1. You'e here on my screen. Maybe you expect that I'll actually look at the comments and post them within 12 or so hours of receiving them. Sometimes I'm very slooooooow.

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Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.