Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
Is it Thursday already? The weeks go by so quickly when one is older than dirt.
Franklin goes to the groomer tomorrow. That will complete all the visits to the groomer for a while.
|Franklin (dressed in black and white) telling Harper|
that going to the groomer is ridiculous and he hates
getting up on that table and his fur is not dirty and he does not smell like a dog (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I even went to the groomer on Tuesday. Sam permed my hair and cut it. My pink and blue hair is still visible, although the colors have faded a bit. Oh, she waxed my eyebrows, too. I don't have anything else waxed. The thought of my woo-hoo visiting Brazil terrifies me.
Wednesday evening I was talking to Elvis Aaron Schwarz on the telephone, and I said, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, editing at home is the best job in the world. I sit in a comfortable chair with my feet up so they don't get swollen. I can work wearing my nightie with no panties underneath if I so choose. I don't have to put up with office politics. Yes, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, I said, this is the greatest job ever.
You wear a nightie and no panties? asked Elvis Aaron Schwarz. I wanna make love to you (he kinda has a one-track mind).
Actually, Elvis Aaron Schwarz told me he had to take someone very important to the hospital today for emergency surgery. He might not be available for dinner on Saturday night. It will depend on how this important person feels. I admire Elvis Aaron Schwarz for his devotion, and I will understand if he can't make it on Saturday night.
There will be other Saturday nights, but this important person may need Elvis Aaron Schwarz for the next few days and he's the kind of person who doesn't run out on his responsibilities.
Harper also has a sense of responsibility. At about 3 a.m. on Wednesday, Harper went outside and I could see he was trying to pounce on something in the front corner of the garage. He missed whatever it was and stayed at that corner for about an hour, holding a vigil. I went outside with some trepidation today, thinking I might find a dead rat, but nothing was there. May it stay that way.
People quite often ask me how I keep my skin so soft. Well, Elvis Aaron Schwarz says I have soft skin and smell good. I have to take very good care of my sensitive skin, and I do so using body butter and cream cleansers and other nice products from The Body Shop. I order from them online. Jax has a Body Shop, but it's pretty far from my house.
Anyskin, The Body Shop had a great online Labor Day sale. I stocked up on hemp hand protectant, stuff to cleanse me in the shower, body butter to make Elvis Aaron Schwarz say I'm soft and smell good -- all that nice stuff that I need for my rashy, itchy, fiery skin.
I placed my order and then noticed that instead of having the order shipped to the billing address, I had accidentally left The Hurricane's house as the Ship To address because the last time I ordered from The Body Shop it was to send a gift to her.
Gracious God! I cried. Please save me. If this order shows up at The Hurricane's house and she has to send it to me, she may attack Florida and thousands will die. I called The Body Shop immediately and couldn't get a human being on the phone.
So I called the next day and after waiting for about a year, a person deigned to speak with me. She said it was too late to change the shipping address (even though the status of the order said it was being processed and hadn't actually been sent). The Body Shop lady promised me that as soon as the package had a tracking number, she would call the shipping people and tell them to change the address on the package to mine. She was very polite, but haven't you noticed that if you order something online and you make a mistake it's darn near impossible to fix it?
I called The Hurricane and left a message stating that I was afraid she was going to be very angry with me and would she please call me and have mercy on me.
She called and was actually quite reassuring. She said that if the package ends up at her house, she'll find a way to get it to me.
I suggested she could give it to me for Christmas. That way I'll get exactly what I want.
So what if I pay for it myself? It's better than having The Hurricane attack an entire region.
Infinities of love,