Please remain gentle and don't hate me because I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping.
But who will shop for Lola? Poor, poor Lola, who used to receive diamonds and rubies and emeralds and sapphires and a gorgeous (faux cuz I won't wear little animals) fur coat and clothes galore from the Nieman Marcus store and Sax Fifth Avenue laid out the red carpet especially for shoppers who said, I'm here to buy a gift for Lola.
Who will give Lola a Christmas gift?
Well, just in case you are in the mood to shop for Lola, I shall use the Twelve Days of Christmas as my Wish List. Here we go with Day One:
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A HANDY MAN WITH NO PLUMBER BUTT.
So, there. We have a good beginning. Each day for twelve days, counting today, I shall tell you what you can give me if you want to be my true love.
And always remember, whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.
Infinities of love,