I CAN'T MAKE A DECISION ABOUT THIS POEM

Gentle Readers,

Here is a poem that is in the works. I started writing it quite some time ago but couldn't get the poetic persona right because the speaker is a young black woman and in case you haven't figured it out, I am not young, nor am I black.

But I started to get it right - I hope - when I met two young women who are black and they talked a lot about their baby daddies.

Here's the first draft of the poem:

My baby daddy,
He don't understand that we don't necessarily have to be together after the baby's here.
We broke up again Saturday.
Now he won't stop texting me.
He say I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah,Wah.
He say he do anything to help me but I ask him to watch my little girl this morning and he say no, I got something else to do.
He won't do that to help me out.
He say I wanna be with you. I wanna help you.
But I don't need him. I'm independent.
I love him but I'm not in love with him.
He can't get his head around that.
My cousin, she say the problem he loves me more than I love him.
I think she right.



Here's the current version of the poem:

My Baby Daddy

For Ginger Maduro

My baby daddy,
He don’t understand that we don’t necessarily have to be together after the baby’s here.
We broke up again Saturday.
Now he won’t stop texting me.
He cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah, Wah.

He say he do anything to help me.
But I ask him to watch my little girl this morning.
And he say no, I got something else to do.
He won’t do that to help me out.
But he cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah, Wah.

His name Cash. He live where you useta live I think.
You know him?
I had a butterfly collection.
He broke my butterflies.
But he cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah, Wah.

He say I wanna be with you. I wanna help you.
But I don’t need him. I’m independent.
I love him but I’m not in love with him.
He can’t get his head around that.
He cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah,Wah.

Last night he left a blue glass butterfly at my front door.
It is so beautiful I scared it will break.
I scared I will break.
I don’t know I can trust him.
But he cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah,Wah.

My cousin, she say the problem is he loves me more than I love him.
I think she right.
He say I wanna be with you and the baby.
I wanna be daddy to your little girl.
He cry I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah, Wah.

Last night my boyfriend asked me to marry him.
He say we go to marriage counseling and he take parenting classes.
He gonna get me a ring.
I cried all night.
I miss you, I wanna be with you.
Wah, Wah, Wah.

My sister called me and said you gotta think of the baby and stop crying.
My boyfriend called me and said you gotta think of the baby and stop crying.
But I’m so happy I can’t stop crying.
Nobody disrespect me no more. I’m engaged.

Wah

Wah

Wah




Would anyone care to express an opinion? Is simpler better?

Love,
Lola Who Has To Get Ready To Go To An Evil Meeting