THE WALDORF

Gentle Readers,

Since I mentioned Mrs. Waldorf, my sixth-grade teacher earlier this evening, I thought I'd fill you in on some fun facts.

Mrs. Waldorf was a widow with a lovely young daughter who appeared to be about twenty. The Waldorf had a disconcerting habit of placing her arms under her breasts and giving them some sort of boost. I never understood if she was getting her bra into a more comfy position or if she tended to sag and needed to give her ample chest a lift.

Waldorf appeared to me to be ancient. Grey haired and old person grouchy. Very angry with the times - didn't like peace symbols or the "stupid" music we kids loved.

I really can't figure out how old she might have been when she was our teacher. I suppose it's possible that her daughter wasn't born until she was 40 or so and that the Waldorf was 60+. Or maybe old people just looked older then than they do now. If the Waldorf was in her 50s, oh my goodness, I hope to God I don't look that old in my 50s.

Waldorf's daughter had taught baton lessons for a few years. All the girls in our class who had learned to toss and spin a baton from Cathy Waldorf received straight As for the third marking period.

I, of course, had not had the privilege of learning baton from Cathy. My best friend, who regularly copied my homework, however, had taken baton. Guess who got straight As and who didn't?

It's o.k. My straight As started to come when it mattered - in high school and college. Can you say summa cum laude former best friend who dumped me while we were in junior high?

Love,

Dumped First Wife