MY KATHY'S ANGEL

Gentle Readers . . .  and Maxwell,

 

Some of you may recall that My Kathy has been my best friend for about 25 years. Although we live very far apart, every time we see each other, it's as if no time has passed. We just pick up where we left off.

This is Kathy's story about an angel who helped her:

It was 1977 and one of those months with more days than money. I had almost a week to go with little food left on the shelves, two hungry young children to feed, and a husband at sea on a U.S. Navy ship.

I had returned every can and bottle I could find for the pennies they would bring and inspected every sofa cushion for change. If such a thing as a Food Bank existed, I’d never heard of it and didn’t know where to turn.

We were new in town. I had only one friend – Grammy B.

And Grammy B. was away visiting her sister.

So I prayed. I asked God to change the water in my jug to milk and to give me an onion and green pepper. Those two foods combined with my meager supplies would allow me to prepare a hearty meal.

I spent the day wondering what to do. When the children napped, I flopped in a chair and finally let my tears flow.

Then the door bell rang. Grammy B. had returned!

“Honey,” she said, “I can’t stay. I went grocery shopping before my doctor’s appointment and what did he do but put me on a liquid diet for the next two weeks. I brought you this food because it will spoil before I can eat again.”

Grammy B thrust the bag in my hands and hurried off. I shut the door and once again found myself in tears -- tears of joy.

In the bag were four onions, two green peppers, and a gallon of milk.

Thank you to My Kathy for sharing her story. It's a good one for the week leading up to Christmas.

Infinities of love,

Lola

P.S. Hugs and thank yous to everyone able to contribute to the fund for the blogger in need. The money has gone to that good person. 

WHAT? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today's What? Monday question might require some creative thinking for you, but it's healthy to think creatively, or to just plain lie.

The question is

What TV show or movie could be based on your life?

I chose this question because it's easy for ME to answer it.

Here are some hints about the TV show based on my life:

• It's only on in reruns now.
• It's about a mom and daughter.
• I look just like the mom and Someone I Love is prettier than the actress who played the daughter, and you'll simply have to take my word for that.
• I was the fastest talking, most fun mom on TV.

Did you get it? Did ya? Did ya? Huh? 

Yes, you did: The Gilmore Girls.

Damn. I look good, don't I? I know you think that's Lauren Graham a.k.a. Lorelai Gilmore, but it's really me. Lauren Graham looks just like me.

And this is the actress who played my daughter Rory, and yes, she is almost as beautiful as Someone I Love.

Now, how do I know this show was based on my life? While it's true I don't own or operate an inn, I could if I really wanted to. I used to talk fast when I was on the debate squad in high school. Lots of men adore me and I have sex with quite a few of them (just kidding, Someone I Love). Someone I Love and I are very close. Someone I Love really did go to an expensive prep school, where she was the valedictorian. But instead of majoring in journalism (dumb choice on Rory's part with newspapers going down the toilet), SIL majored in math and physics.

So now I know you can totally see that Lorelai Gilmore and I are one and the same and The Gilmore Girls was based on my life.

Can't you imagine me saying, as Lorelai and I said on the show: 

Lorelai: So, let me get this straight. Uh, you and some guys who actually know what they're doing are gonna come over and fix my house, and I can pay them back whenever I want? 
Luke: That's right. 
Lorelai: 'Cause I'm Tony Soprano? 
Luke: Only scarier. 

[Lorelai has had to throw Emily an impromptu bachelorette party and invited all the women from Stars Hollow. Emily is now drunk] 
Miss Patty: So, Emily, tell us about this party of yours tomorrow. 
Emily: It's going to be fabulous. Isn't it, Lorelai? 
Lorelai: Ab fab, sweetie darling. 
Emily: Isn't she hilarious? I never have any idea what she's talking about, but she's so entertaining! Like a chimp. Isn't she like a chimp, Gypsy? 
Gypsy: Please make your mother stop talking to me. 
Lorelai: If only I had that power. 

[Lorelai answers her cell phone] 
Lorelai: Hello? 
Emily: You get over here right now! 
Lorelai: Who is this? 
Emily: This is you in twenty years! "Who is this?", I swear! 

Rory: Mom? 
Lorelai: Oh. 
Rory: You're happy. 
Lorelai: Yeah. 
Rory: Did you do something slutty? 
Lorelai: I'm not that happy. 

Luke: Rory's not here yet. 
Lorelai: Then you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay Burger boy, dance. 
Luke: Will you marry me? 
[Lorelai is taken aback] 
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up. 

Oh man, don't you just love all the hilarious things I said? I crack myself up. The last quotation is particularly apropos because there's this man, not named Luke, and he asks me to marry him all the time. Almost every day. At least once a week. Or he used to once in a while but doesn't anymore.

Did you find this post confusing? I hope not. It's just the way Lorelai and I are.

Now, how bout you, baby?

What TV show or movie could be based on your life?

Give it some thought. Be creative.

Infinities of love,

Lorelai Lola

P.S. You may have noticed we have 98 followers. I really want 100 followers for Christmas, so if you're reading but not following, please do so, or convince a friend to follow. Or threaten someone, if necessary.

A IS FOR APPLE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Recently a friend and I were talking about the crazy names some celebrities give their kids. He said he had heard some really wild names, and he wasn't just talking about the way people say, Can you believe Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple?

That conversation reminded me that I wanted to write this post -- about how much I love the name Apple.

I was not freaked out when Gwyneth and the guy from Cold Play (he doesn't have a name; he's just the guy from Cold Play who's married to Gwyneth Paltrow) named their daughter Apple. I thought, That's beautiful.

You know how you have certain associations with certain names? I used to have a next door neighbor named Chuck, and it took me a long time to get used to having a brother-in-law named Chuck. Chuck 1 was unbearably creepy. Chuck 2 was a good-looking, nice guy.

But at first I associated Chuck 2 with Chuck 1. Although I grew to like Chuck 2, please Dear Lord, don't let my babies grow up to be cowboys or name my grandchildren Chuck.

Well, I love the name Apple because of the person I associate with said name.

The fruit is O.K. too, but I really loved the person.

When I worked at the nursing home, we had a lady who was batshit crazy. Walk past her and she'd say, for no reason, I'm gonna cut you.

One night a colleague and I were taking care of her and she reached out and grabbed my face with her long fingernails, digging them into my cheeks. You'd be amazed at how strong old ladies are. If my colleague hadn't been there to pry Crazy Lady off of me, she could have done some real damage, other than upsetting me.

Crazy Lady's daughter came in every single evening and checked on her mom quickly. If she found anything lacking in Mom's care, she pointed it out and requested that the problem be solved.

But she never spent more than a few minutes with her mom. Most of her time was spent walking around the floor greeting the other residents and hugging the staff members. This woman absolutely radiated love. I always felt so good after hugging her. She made my evening.

One night a co-worker and I were chatting about how wonderful this woman was. The co-worker was an old-timer who had been in the business for years. He knew everyone's background. He told me that the wonderful woman's mom had killed two of her own children when they were young.

He said she had abused all of her children horribly and the remaining children had been taken from her by the state.

I asked, They why does her daughter come to see her every evening?

Because she is a truly good Christian woman, he said. You know she doesn't spend much time with her mom. She checks on her but doesn't stay with her.

I pondered this and thought about how the daughter didn't just talk the talk; she walked the walk -- and they were in the footsteps of Jesus.

Of course, her name was Apple.

Infinities of love,

Lola

WHO? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . .  and Maxwell,

Today and only today, and perhaps some other time in the future, What? Monday becomes Who? Monday because the question is

Who is your hero and/or heroine? 

This is a toughie for me because I can name so many people.

I'll start with my mom and dad because I miss them so much. The older I get, the more I miss them.

Next, Favorite Young Man and Someone I Love.

Little Chick

Doris Kearns Goodwin (Oh how I wish I could be Doris but I don't think I could stand to look at her husband -- I was going to post a current photo of him but I couldn't find one and it's just as well because it might frighten those of you who are a bit sensitive. Dick Goodwin looks kind of like somebody dressed in a bad gorilla suit for Halloween, but a gorilla would be more attractive than Dick Goodwin.)

Bob Dole

Ronald and Nancy Reagan

Gerry and Betty Ford

Barack and Michelle Obama

Anne Tyler 

Pat Conroy


Maya Angelou

Sylvia Plath, but she should not have killed herself 

Grammarians

I'll stop there, but I'm sure I could come up with a lot more names because although lots of people in this world are jerks, I think even more people are great.

Now, tell us please,

Who is your hero and/or heroine?

Infinities of love,

Lola   

P.S. Heroine is not the same as heroin. We're not talkin' smack here.