Tuesday, June 9, 2020

ACCEPTING RESERVATIONS NOW

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Thanks to a few days of heavy rain, I invite you to make your reservations at

The Lake Junebug Resort & Rumpus Room

The lake has the most water it's held in quite some time, but it's strictly BYOC (bring your own canoe).


You'll enjoy the view from the deck:

Don't you just love the way the sun sparkles on the water?

The gas grill has totally rusted through, but if you want a gourmet burger, I can slap it on the George Foreman.

The water runs all the way up the driveway to the garage, so for the little ones who aren't yet swimmers, they have plenty of splashing room.


Don't worry about COVID-19. You're more likely to get diphtheria here . . . hahaha  ha.

The Rumpus Room is a brand-spanking-new added attraction. It's under the house and can be added to your vacation package for only a few hundred dollars. It's a great place to play "Let's throw darts at the rats."

For those of you who are crafters, take a look at this deck:


Think of all the fun you can have repairing  decorating and staining it. For a small fee, you can take a rotten commemorative board home with you.

Who doesn't want to visit the land of the Junebug? Franklin will allow you to pet him; Penelope will curse at you; Carol will preach a great sermon on Sunday mornings; and as always, mispronounce one of my favorite words and I'll edumacate you to within an inch of your life.

Call soon or leave your comment letting me know when you'll arrive and how many of you I can expect.

I think we're gonna have a full house.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

34 comments:

  1. I would love to visit. The company would more than make up for any deficiencies in the accommodation. Mind you, I doubt very much that I will be allowed to travel so far in the foreseeable future...

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  2. Do you offer a complimentary continental breakfast?

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    Replies
    1. Of course! I bought a case of damaged boxes of pop tarts.

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  3. OMG! You are really getting flooded out this year. Where to the poor pooches do their bathroom duties? Awk! Looks like you are going to float away. :(

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    Replies
    1. They're used to the sometimes swampy backyard. They splash right through the water.

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  4. I'll just paddle right over! (Oh you poor dears!)

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  5. Why do I think that Lake Junebug also has abundant and adoptable free-range mosquitoes?

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    Replies
    1. I should have mentioned the mosquitoes in the post. The tadpoles are abundant, too.

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  6. You could park a cruise ship in that. Or maybe an ark would be a better idea.

    As for getting edumacated, I'd feel right at home; my mother's done that since I was a tot. See you soon, Janie!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe someone will give me a cruise ship for Christmas.

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  7. That's a pretty heavy duty back yard. Real heavy duty Florida.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, yeah. At least the realtors warned me so it wasn't too much of a shock.

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  8. Can't leave the country so not making a reservation, I am sorry

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  9. You did a good job making the place glamorous ;0 though I suspect the company is the best part

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    Replies
    1. Chatting with Franklin and Penelope is always fun.

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  10. Oh dear ... I hope you can get it sorted out - doesn't look good - but on the other hand you've got some rain ... take care - and stay safe and not drowned - Hilary

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    Replies
    1. I can't do anything except wait for it to dry out. It's like this every time we have a lot of rain. My neighborhood was built on a swamp.

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  11. Looks like your "dock" needs to be fixed. We don't want all the tourists getting their foot caught in a hole when they come to see your phenomenal resort.

    (Wish I could help you with all of that. Must be frustrating!)

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    Replies
    1. No, I'm not frustrated. It doesn't bother me at all because I'm not the one who has to pee in the yard.

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  12. As soon as I purchase my first canoe, I'll take the next available reservation. Can't wait!

    Love you.

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  13. I don't know how to swim so I'm a little reluctant. But with the right price... :)

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    Replies
    1. You can stay in the Li'l Paddlers area with the kids in diapers.

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  14. Non swimmer here, but I'm real good at sitting in the shade, sipping a cool glass of water. LOL Glad to see you are doing well! I'm back from a 9 month blogging hiatus!

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    Replies
    1. I wondered when you would return. I never gave up hope.

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  15. Yikes! There are times I am glad that I live in a dry climate. I feel for Franklin and Penelope. I wouldn't want to pee there either! Take care!

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    Replies
    1. Penelope doesn't like it when the tadpoles tickle her bottom.

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  16. Haha. The part about throwing darts at the rats . . .😁

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    Replies
    1. Nasty, huh? I made the rumpus room pretty unappealing.

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  17. I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. Hey, i am looking for an online sexual partner ;) Click on my boobs if you are interested (. )( .)

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    ReplyDelete

Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.