Tuesday, May 22, 2018

THE BRIDE DID NOT WEAR COMBAT BOOTS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I've long thought that it would be a good idea for Prince Harry to marry an American, but I had a certain American mathematician in mind. With her auburn hair, they might have produced a beautiful bunch of red-haired children.

Alas, the mathematician isn't interested in marriage. Harry found himself a TV star instead. Their wedding was lovely.



A plethora of celebrities attended. Here are Lady Grand Slams and Lord Reddit:


Amal Clooney looked beautiful as usual, although she was accompanied by some guy no one recognized:


I watched with my old buddy Starbucks, who kept complaining that black people were all over the place. A black preacher. Black guests. The black gospel choir.


Starbucks soon stomped off to call the police so they could "do something" about all those black people. I think my friendship with Starbucks is over. I loved the choir's rendition of Stand By Me.

The award for best hat of the day went to the Duchess of Cornwall because it hid her horsey face:


I wonder if the Prince of Wails still wants to be Camilla's tampon.

Ten children took part in the wedding! Ten! Can you imagine wrangling all those children? It might have been like herding cats, but they were on their best behavior.


Not a nose-picker, pants-wetter, or puker among them.

I felt sorry for Queen Elizabeth. Everywhere she goes, Tom Riddle (a.k.a.He Who Must Not Be Named) sneaks looks over her shoulder:


For me, however, the most striking aspect of the wedding was the difference between Prince Harry marrying the new Duchess of Sussex (Meghan) and Prince Charles's wedding to Diana, Princess of Wales.

Diana was a 20-year-old girl marrying a man she still called "sir" on the day he proposed. She ended up wanting to back out of the whole thing when she learned that Charles was still in love with Horsey Face.

Meghan, by contrast, is 36, has been married before, and has had a career. She married a man who seems to really and truly be in love with her. They embark on their life together with the goal of being a family and bringing joy to the downtrodden of the world: a goal that Harry learned from his mother.


You are remembered, Angel Princess.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug


Best Photo of the Day:


50 comments:

  1. Didn't watch, but am impressed that a royal married an American, mixed race, actress, divorcee who's older than he is. Just that made it amazing to me. I sincerely hope they are happy as pigs in mud! :)

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    1. I hope so, too. I'm impressed that the whole family seems to accept her.

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  2. Practical Parsimony2:58 AM, May 22, 2018

    There are a bunch of people who really hated my blog post where I said I did not like Meghan! Did you see the little bridesmaid shove the other as they followed the bride out of the building?

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    1. I missed the shove. You have a right to dislike Meghan.

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  3. I didn't watch it, but wish them all the best. They will live their lives in a fishbowl. Forever.

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  4. I was having my morning coffee when suddenly I saw the feed of the wedding on my Twitter page. I tuned in and watched the whole service. I enjoyed the feast that it was for my eyes. The chapel, the formal wear and the hats! I knew nothing of the bride prior to watching, so I had no preconceived notions about any of it, just that it was pretty darn fancy. I wish them luck and hope they do good things together.

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    1. I think one of their bonds is wanting to do good. It was fancy, but probably not as fancy as Prince William's marriage to Kate and Prince Charles's to Diana. Those were considered state affairs because Charles and William are in the direct line of succession to the throne. That's why Harry and Meghan didn't have to invite a bunch of politicians and heads of state to their wedding.

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  5. Those wacky Brits know how to do a wedding. Their TV shows are good too.

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  6. An internet meme pointed out that Camilla's hat looked like pink insulation.

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  7. I didn't watch the wedding, so thanks for the pics and your humorous insights! ☺ Old Horsey Face's hat was a bit much. LOL

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  8. I didn't watch it, though I enjoyed the NYT video distilation (only three minutes, and so beautifully done) and I think this will go down as the American audience's favorite of all the Royal weddings for obvious reasons.
    In one way this was a cinderella story come alive and live streamed, but in another contemporary twist it must be pointed out that this cinderella is more self accomplished than her prince, who is certainly charming.

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    1. I read that more people in the U.S. watched the wedding than in England.

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  9. I wish them well, as well as the thousands of other people who tied the knot this past Saturday. As for watching it, I didn't.

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    1. I didn't know if I would watch. I happened to be awake, so I did.

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  10. The wedding of the century, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

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    1. That's a sweet thought. Charles and Diana were thought to have the wedding of the century (the last century, of course). It was sad that it turned out so badly, but they produced two very nice sons.

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  11. This was packed full of sh*ts and giggles, love your humor, JJ. It was all quite the spectacle. And such a difference from Princess Di's wedding. I loved her too - along with the world. But that dress? It's horrid, right?

    Love.

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    1. It was so wrinkled it looked as if she slept in it. It was big and puffy like '80s big hair.

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  12. I saw most of the wedding and loved the Stand By Me interlude. The preacher talking about Love for 14 minutes made me squirm but when i saw a Princess Anne's daughter with her mouth agape, I laughed out loud. The ugly step sisters-Beatrice and Eugenie were snickering while the Queen was not amused but she must go along with this...how times have changed. I found out that Ben Mulroney's(father was the PM-couldn't stand him but Ben is an entertainment anchor) 2 sons were in the wedding party. I have no clue why. Did Elton John have a stroke? He looked like it when the preacher was...preaching. Camilla's hat does remind me of the pink insulation. My fav of all dresses and hats was Kitty Spencer in the green outfit with the splash of oranges and reds in flowers on her dress.

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    1. Kitty Spencer looked great. The children in the wedding party all had some association with Harry and Meghan. Some of them are Harry's godchildren--he has quite a few. I thought the preacher was wonderful.

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  13. The USA seems fascinated with British royalty because we don't have any real royalty of our own. Meghan would have been totally unacceptable seventy-five years ago. At least there's some progress there.

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    1. They've made a huge amount of progress since Charles married Diana. The poor girl was 19 when Charles proposed, and he really didn't make a big secret of the fact that he wasn't in love with her. Her father also made a big thing before the wedding of announcing that she'd seen a doctor and was still a virgin. No one seems to care that the Duchess of Cambridge and the Duchess of Sussex have been around the block. I hate it when people say that the Kennedy family is our royalty.

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    2. Wow, it’s been a long time, Janie. And conversation is heated and funny.

      I don’t know how I got to your page. It was not my intention. I think God brought me here.

      Forgot I could have used your service for the book I’m about to publish.😔

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    3. I'm not editing at the moment, Peaches, but thank you for thinking of me. I got a job. I'm sure I'll edit again in the future.

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  14. I really can't stand Camila and had to grin at the way she was hiding behind her hat. I'm amazed she managed to get through the service without going out for a quick fag, as she's a chain smoker.

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  15. I watched most of it & it was boring, but the bride looked beautiful!!

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    1. I enjoyed it because the preacher was so good.

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  16. I watched the ceremony in the church. I wish these two well. They do seem like such a lovely couple!

    The tampon comment...HAHAHAHA! I'd forgotten about that. Thanks for the smile :)

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    1. That was a looooong time ago. I bet Charles wishes that everyone would forget.

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  17. Hahahahahaha... This was great, Janie. I'm not a follower of royal anything, but these reviews I've been finding on the 'net have been so much fun to read. (Ugh on your friend Starbucks, though, and glad your friendship is over... As they say, some people are better lost than found ;) )

    Thanks so much for the visit over at Debbie's for my guest post; really loved seeing your name pop up in the comments. I've missed you!
    Guilie @ Life In Dogs

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  18. On Monday while waiting for Leo to get out of school I heard a couple of women talking and one said she was shocked by how many "blacks" were at the wedding and how she didn't know there was "black" blood in Meghan. I felt like saying that I am sure her blood is red but since Harry is a "blue" blood I am sure it will all be ok

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    1. Oh, I wish you'd said it, but I probably would have kept quiet, too. It's impossible to win an argument with someone that stupid.

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  19. I don't pay much attention to celebrity anything, but I did scroll my way through Twitter for highlights when the whole thing was over, because they just looked so adorable and genuine. It seems both boys married for love, so they're already miles ahead of their awful father.

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    1. Yes, Charles was an idiot. At least he was polite to Meghan's mother, and it was touching when he escorted Meghan partway down the aisle. Maybe he has improved a tiny bit.

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  20. Love your assessments of the day, especially of Horsey Face. I never did like Starbucks, so I can't stop drinking it in protest. LOL.

    My heart still breaks for Diana. So young. I think she believed in the fairy tale....too bad it was a lie. But her pain paved the way for her sons' freedom.

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    1. She paid the ultimate price in order to change the royal family.

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  21. I didn't get to watch the wedding, but I caught snippets that were shared on social media. I thought the cellist who played was wonderful! Love your photo of the day!

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    1. The cellist was great. Isn't Princess Charlotte adorable? Of course, all the children were cute.

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  22. The hat hid her horsey face! Oh dear, I am still laughing because it is so true! I saw Diana once when I was in London. She absolutely was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

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    1. You must have been so excited to see her!!! I've never understood how Charles could give up Diana for Camilla, but I guess he never loved Diana and got married because it was his duty.

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  23. You had entirely too much fun writing this post! Thanks for the chuckles.

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  24. I loved the Royal Wedding. I've caught every one since Princess Margaret married in May 1960. It is good to think that this is a love match. Thanks for featuring this, Janie!

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  25. Who is starbucks?
    Practical Parsimony

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