Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
I have the winner for the June 1 Battle of the Bands. I know how excited you must be.
Try to prop your eyelids open while I make the announcement and then you can sleep the rest of the day. Take time off from work. Tell your boss that The Queen of Grammar gave you permission.
The winner is
Sonic Youth 9
Sorry, Sonic Youth, but it's not as if Usher really whipped your butt.
Your reward for deigning to vote in this battle, or glance at it as you passed by, is to listen to what I consider the best version of Superstar.
Sing us out, please, Karen. And Richard, you do whatever it is that you do when you're not playing the piano.
Infinities of love,
Oh, wait a minute. Hold it, Karen. I forgot to vote. That means Usher ushed the win by one because I vote for Sonic Youth. Carry on now, Karen. I still miss you. When I am dead and gone, who will worship all those Carpenters albums in my cabinet?