UF OH OH NO

Gentle Readers,

Please explain to me why so many people believe in UFOs and visits from creatures from other planets and some crazy-ass folks even think the creatures from other planets have taken them to their spaceships and probed them. From what I've heard, these are quite common beliefs, and I don't get it. Are all these people idiots and/or crazy?

I can think of all sorts of explanations for believing you've been a visitor to a spaceship.You're sound asleep and you have a dream so strong that when you wake up you believe the dream has actually occurred and you can't shake it off. I've never dreamed that I was on a spaceship, but I've certainly had dreams and nightmares that seemed very, very real to me at the time. I can't remember what I was dreaming about this morning; I just remember that it seemed to be happening in my waking life -- and then the phone rang and the events that seemed to be happening went poof. If the phone hadn't awakened me so suddenly, I probably would have spent more time thinking the dream was reality. I've even heard noises in my dreams, like alarms going off, but the noise only occurred in my dream.

As for the probing, maybe your spouse did a little fooling around while you were asleep and you were the fool aroundee. Or maybe you have hemorrhoids. The possibilities are endless.

Another possibility is that some people have watched too many movies and TV shows about the paranormal and it's confused them. And maybe they're a bit delusional. Hey, I've been married and I've worked in the healthcare field: I know delusions.

As for the many people who think they see UFOs, do I have a story for you. In the place where I used to live, an air base was close by. We were driving along the highway near the base one evening and there above the trees was some sort of hovercraft. Fascinating. We had never seen such a thing before, and we knew it was an experimental aircraft.

I remember hearing on some TV show that all these people reported seeing a UFO, I think it took off from the airport in Chicago or whatever, and lots of people called the police and reporters called government officials and they denied having experimental aircraft taking off. Well, of course they deny it. It's an experiment. They aren't going to give away the details until they can unveil this wonderful new aircraft - or maybe they will never unveil their wonderful new aircraft because they actually want to keep it a secret so they can pick up every man I ever dated or married and probe him before flying him straight to the moon Alice.

Infinities of love,

Lola