Canadian Sisterhood . . . and Maxwell,
I have some questions for you. I've wanted to move to Canada for quite some time, and my longing has only grown stronger as the bupkiss in The White House does one stupid thing after another. He's so awful that he's not even a joke anymore.
So what do you think about me joining you in Canada? I know it's very different from Florida, but I've lived with ice and snow before. I just need to buy a coat and some mittens.
I do have concerns. First, I know that to get into Canada legally (and I would never ever do anything illegal) that I need to be able to get a job. I don't want to reveal where I work or exactly what I do, but I think I can tell you that the biggest part of my job is listening to people whine. You don't seem to be a nation of whiners, so do you think I have a chance of finding a job?
Second, where should I live? I've been to Montreal, Vancouver, and Victoria. They're very nice, but I have a bit of a hankering to live in Nova Scotia. Is that a mistake? What part of the country if the most affordable?
Finally--and this is a big, very important question--am I nice enough to live in Canada? I know that Franklin would be welcome because no one is nicer than Franklin. Penelope is a bit persnickety, but once you see how cute her underbite is I know you'll fall in love with her. It's me that I'm not sure about.
I floss and brush. I bathe and deodorize. I don't have weapons of mass destruction. In fact, I've never had a gun and I never will. I oppose the death penalty. I think Justin Trudeau is as cute and bright as a new (American) penny. I'll help you keep Justin Bieber from returning.
But is that enough?
How will I know if I'm nice enough? Can you tell me? I really, really need your help.
And for those of you in the U.S. who are tempted to leave comments that say America: love it or leave it, you can bite my pink butt. I do love my country, but I don't have to love what's happening to it.
Let me know, please, my Canadian sisters: Am I nice enough to be a Canadian?
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug, who isn't really going anyplace
I think I should mention that Favorite Young Man will probably come along. He'll fix your cars. And we can learn to say "eh." I'll add the letter "u" to words. Whatever it takes, I'll do it.
I'm not Canadian, but I think running away ain't what it used to be and never was...
ReplyDeleteBut there's a first time for everything.
DeleteI am not Canadian either but strongly suspect that they will welcome you.
ReplyDeleteThat's a nice thought.
DeleteIf people like you and I leave, then surely our country will be lost forever. On the other hand, if Canada invaded and took over, we'd get universal health care and low cost prescription drugs. The only downside might be having to learn French.
ReplyDeleteI think we only have to learn French if Quebec takes over.
DeleteWelcome! We would love to have you and you are very nice so you will fit right in. I also have a job that includes whiners so you can find a job since we do love whining about the weather..it’s out pasttime. We also love aski what nationality are you? With my name they always ask and I say I’m Canadian but we love to know where our ances5ors come from. I think the East Coast is a good place to start and Saskatchewan
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, Birgit. My background is Norwegian and German.
DeleteYes, you are nice enough. And you will fit right in! I think you will love the east coast. And it is very affordable there! You'd also love the west coast. And I'd love to have you as a (within-driving-distance) neighbour if you decide on a city nearby like Ottawa or Montreal :)
ReplyDeleteCool! I know Favorite Young Man is in love with Montreal, but he already speaks some French. Mine is pretty limited.
DeleteGeeze,, I can't answer this question.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay. I'm getting plenty of answers.
DeleteOh yes, Janie, you are more than nice enough to be a Canadian! And you know, we love good grammar and correct spelling here too, so long as it's the QUEEN'S English. And don't be fooled -- we whine PLENTY, but in a very low-key, polite way under our breath. Screw Nova Scotia -- have you considered Edmonton, Alberta? The winters aren't THAT cold.
ReplyDeleteI think I can learn the Queen's English--you do mean Freddie Mercury and the rest of the group, right? I think your mention of Edmonton is an attempt to draw me into something I'll regret. Aren't you the one who wrote about the need to plug in the car during the winter?
DeleteScrew Nova Scotia?!!! Not!
DeleteHA!
DeleteWhat a huge decision! Good thing S.K. and I helped to condition you to the cold all those years ago . . .
ReplyDeleteAnd I've never forgotten it.
Deleteugh...couldn't do Canada. I'm stuck here waiting for his miserable time in the White House to end, and pray to God that we are all (worldwide) still alive. ugh ugh ugh. (cute post though. LOL)
ReplyDeleteI agree with your ugh ugh ugh.
DeleteI think I'd love it in Canada, too, and am very close already. Dagan and Leah talk about it every so often--especially lately. ;) They already have friends there and said if they ever move they are taking me with them. Getting used to snow and cold again would take a bit of adjusting, but you could do it. :)
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to wait for Dagan and Leah. You can go with me.
DeleteSorry--won't ever leave them and those grandsons. We'd have to all go together. ;)
DeleteThen let's get together and start planning.
DeleteHi Janie - I suspect time will change life - Canada is just wonderful ... but completely different from Florida - big change and then ... the future. Take care - ignore tweeters ... and just ignore - difficult but possible ... cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteI haven't always lived in Florida. Snow and I know each other quite well.
DeleteI knew what this post would be about as soon as I read the title. A lot of us Americans would probably choose Canada to relocate to because it seems to be the country most like the USA, so it presumably wouldn't provide much in the way of culture shock. But we'd all better do it soon, before Trump turns Canada into one of our enemies. He seems to be intent on doing that to most of the nations which have traditionally been our friends.
ReplyDeleteHe sure is. The man loves to make enemies.
DeleteGirl, I’m right there with ya! I grew up just this side of the Canadian border, in Niagara Falls, and spent a lot of time in Canada. Love it there! People are awesome, the country is beautiful. ... and they have Justin Trudeau! I just replied to a twitter thread between a few Canadians and asked if we could have Trudeau when they were finished with him. Yep, I’d go there.
ReplyDeleteI know what you’re feeling. It’s all so disheartening now. Good triumphs evil though and I’m sure in the end it will be okay but it’s hard to see that view under the weight of the Trump cloud...
You and your mom can come with us.
DeleteJanie, I would welcome you with open arms! ☺ I'm sure you could find a job here. Nova Scotia is interesting, but the weather is a lot more extreme on the Atlantic coast. Montreal is bloody cold as well. Where I live (in the suburbs, southwest of Toronto), the weather isn't nearly as bad. In fact, this area is known as "Carolinian Canada" and the "Banana Belt". Unfortunately, the cost of living is higher the closer to Toronto you are. Where Birgit lives (closer to Niagara Falls), it would be cheaper. Prices are higher in Canada than the U.S. for most things, but the tradeoff is you get universal healthcare and cheaper prescription drugs. Come on up!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the welcome!
DeleteI could do Canada if it wasn't so darn cold. I think I'll shoot for England instead:)
ReplyDeleteNow that's a good thought. I hadn't considered just taking off for England.
DeleteI like Canada and have visited many times. They would love you ! ! !
ReplyDeleteOnly problem is the Ford Brothers (?). They are the mayors (Willian blogs about them ) and have a huge following. They make Trump look sane. They take drugs with photos, get drunk, run over people and start fist fights in the City Council hit a female Council Member. The eldest died but the younger brother is stepping in and taking over.
Go as an illegal they well take you in especially if you say you want to go to school and learn French but then don't. That is how it works down here.
Plus you have Franklin and Penelope who could say no to them !
cheers, parsnip
I actually would like to go to school and learn French.
DeleteI think with "eh" and adding "u" to every other word, you've got it covered, Janie! Nova Scotia, is, of course, the bestest province in which to live, although our personal tax rate is among the highest in Canada. The cost of living is a lot lower here than Ontario and westward; sadly, so are our wages.
ReplyDeleteIt was the five minute commute that made you want to come here, wasn't it? :D
Five minutes sounds louvely.
DeleteYou can always say you're Franklin and Penelope's Emotional Support Human, they'll have to let you in with them.
ReplyDeleteExcellent solution. You're brilliant.
DeleteFun post. We can dream, eh? I think a lot of us agree with your sentiments. It's getting harder and harder to recognize our country, but I think if we all hang in there, things will get better... and more sane... hopefully, sooner rather than later. It's like living in Bizarro world now.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel optimistic these days.
DeleteBoyfriend wants to move there too, but he says its harder than it seems. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteHe's right.
DeleteJanie,
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not Canadian, I tried immigrating and although I was refused (stupid job for not writing that letter) I do want to reapply. You don't need a job per se, but you do need a skill and you would need your employers in the States to write a letter for you to prove to the Canadian government that you have worked, have the funds, and have a skill or two. Writers are considered skill because writers need to have a college degree. Skills are based on either a university degree or trades school. Having a job would help, but I know it's extremely hard to get a job as a non-Canadian unless you have a skill that a Canadian or permanent resident doesn't have. Most employers look for "Canadian Experience." However, I'm sure temporary visa work MIGHT be easier, but it's like temp work in the US, it's low waged jobs.
I also had to take an English exam. They require either an English or French proficiency test. I also had to get my degree translated, and different background checks. I invested about $10,000 into it and I really hope I some day see a return on my investment. As of last year, mom's Canadian co-worker said he'd help me out, but who knows if that still stands. Canadians are very welcoming, though!
Good luck, dear friend!
Love,
Jessica
Franklin, Penelope, and I are staying in hot and humid Florida.
DeleteI am right there with you. I feel like I spend 95% of my time either anxious or angry or just plain scared. But I don't think Canada would take me. I have read that you have to be young and possess an in demand skill. That takes me out, dangit.
ReplyDeleteTruth is I don't want to go anywhere, but I fear for what this country is becoming.