Tuesday, January 28, 2014

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: YOU CAN'T CALL ME BIG ASS 'CAUSE I'LL WHOOP YER ASS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I continue to lose weight with my high protein diet.

I was probably at my chubbiest when I tried to teach high school a few years ago. A number of the kids would pretend to cough to semi-camouflage calling me "Big Ass". I wanted to slap those racist juvenile delinquents and remind them that their butts were even bigger than mine.

I ignored it instead, because I had many more important problems with my students, and I use the term "students" loosely.

Well, no one can get away with calling me Big Ass now. I don't know how many pounds I've dropped, nor how many inches have melted away, but today I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned and I wore a dress that I bought about 15 years ago when I was a reporter.

The dress isn't as loose as it used to be, but it isn't too tight, either.

Now, I ask you: Is this a picture of a woman with a big ass?


Case closed. I think my tummy is bigger than my rear end, but I'll keep whittling everything down.

And yes, I know I didn't make my bed this morning. I'm too busy being grateful.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

43 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Fine, thanks. Are you concerned I'll be constipated? Trust me: I'm a poop machine.

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    2. A high protein diet can cause constipation, Al.

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  2. My kinda dress, and you're rockin' it.

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  3. You look great. The thing to remember always is beauty comes in all sizes and shapes, but health is the most important thing.

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    1. I feel much healthier when I'm slimmer. I'm losing the weight very slowly because if I lose it quickly I know I'll put it back on.

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  4. Obviously January is a dentist month. I love mine too and his ass-sistant. The dress looks great. Congrats for losing weight. I don't judge people by the size of their caboose nor if their bed is made. It takes courage to ignore teenagers remarks like that.

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    1. Those kids had so many problems. I think 50% will end up in prison. I was shocked at how many had already been in jail or juvenile detention.

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  5. You look fantastic!!! :) But I think I've found the pounds you've lost...

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    1. I didn't give them to you on purpose. Feel free to send them to someone you don't like.

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  6. I'm back, Janie Junebug! A double shot of JJ always hits the spot, straight up or on the rocks. Shucks, I needed a cold shower after reading your previous post followed by Bouncin' Barb's! There must be something in the water up there on the northeast coast of Florida. :)

    Anyway, I think you look fabulous, although it's a shame you cropped off the top half of your body. If losing weight is a goal then I applaud the progress you've made. I'm no expert but I think you can chalk it up to all that church goin' of yours. Church goin' is a great way to burn calories. It's fun, too!

    Love and a hug, Janie Junebug!

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    1. I took off the top because my bodacious ta-tas are so distracting. Love and a hug back to you.

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  7. You go girl! You're looking good. I tried to see if WDW was still stuck down there by the bed, but I couldn't tell.

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    1. He got out. We had more adventures that afternoon.

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  8. Keep up the good work! You look fine1

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  9. If I was interested in an ass I would still be married to my starter wife. She was the biggest ass I ever met. It's the whole (not just the hole) thing that interest me. But keep up the good work. You will feel better in life and about yourself.

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  10. You do not have a big ass! Students can be jerks! What is this about your bowels and your being a poop machine? I like that dress.

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    1. John is a nurse. I think he asked about my bowels because a high protein diet can cause constipation. It's not a problem for me.

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  11. Hi Janie .. good for you ... I love the idea of whittling away - I must do that too ... thank goodness the better weather will be here soon ... but in the meantime I shall whittle away a little a day ... great idea - and yes aren't kids 'just beloved'!!!!

    Congratulations on your slimline look .. Hilary

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  12. Skinny Ass!

    You are a brave, brave woman to have even ventured into the high school. I was a psycho-volunteer-mom when the kids were in grade school, but as soon as they moved on to middle school, I was like --- you're on your own. Teenagers scare me.

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    1. The strange thing is that I've always liked teenagers. When I subbed, we usually got along very well, but it was the school from which Favorite Young Man had graduated. The school where I had a teaching job is ranked as one of the worst in Florida.

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  13. Good for you! I know how you felt. Whenever I've worked in the schools, I've fantasized about hauling off and belting some of the sh**s right in the kisser. Not a good idea, but it would feel so good for a couple seconds.

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    1. I got fired anyway. I might as well have gotten fired for smacking someone. The principal would have been the best choice.

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  15. Don't give up carbs completely, PAPS. Just cut back.

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  16. Replies
    1. That just might be the most brilliant comment ever made.

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  17. Good luck with your weight loss.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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  18. Goodness! You hardly have a butt at all! :)

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    Replies
    1. You and Susie need to get together to give out compliments. Depression would end.

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  19. Go YOU! That's awesome JJ. It makes you feel good doesn't it? Keep up the great work.

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  20. Nope. Well done.

    Interesting carpet.

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    Replies
    1. It's a very inexpensive area rug. I have the same pattern in my living room.

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  21. Dammit. Why didn't I read this post BEFORE I bought my nachos for lunch. I seem to have lost my motivation. Maybe Franklin has it. Will you look?

    Congrats on your progress!!!

    -andi

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