Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,
I had a horrible nightmare last week. It was the kind of nightmare so vivid that I think everything is real and I try to escape but can't. But I remembered this nightmare and thought about it and decided it was really pretty funny.
The nightmare begins: A man I used to know came to my house to demand I loan him $19,000. I was shocked and kept trying to find a private place where we could talk so I could find out why he needed the money. I also needed to tell him I didn't have 19K.
We couldn't find a place to talk, however, because he had brought friends with him. The friends were a married couple and their three young children: two girls and a boy. Everywhere I went in my house, the kids were up to no good. I found the girls going through the drawers of my dressing table and removing, of all things, band-aids! The band-aids had green wrappers. The girls were opening the wrappers and ruining the band-aids. I told them to leave my things alone and they ignored me! Next they'd be stealing my jewelry.
Then I found the boy jumping on the couch! The horror! He was the youngest and I was afraid the little idiot would split his head open on the wood floor and I'd have to clean up the blood.
I went to look for the parents to tell them they had to control their children. The evil parents were in my kitchen making chocolate pudding. How dare they? Plus, they were making the pudding with my stand mixer and the larger of the two glass bowls. Completely inappropriate for the preparation of chocolate pudding. They hadn't asked for permission to use my kitchen and it was not okay for them to use my Oster mixer and the glass bowl. Shame on them! Shame!
I was furious, yet frightened these people were in my home.
I decided the man and I should go out to lunch. At a restaurant, I would be able to talk to him alone about the $19,000. But the hideous parents and their three vile children piled into my car to join us.
At that point, the nightmare ended. I have no idea how seven people could fit in my Nissan Sentra anyway.
I awoke, frightened, but fortunately thought it hilarious later.
Too bad I can't wake up from the nightmare of the orange demon who defies court orders.
Infinities of love,
Janie Junebug
I sometimes have very odd dreams and wake up wondering "Where did that come from?"
ReplyDeleteOh, you'll enjoy my post today.
ReplyDeleteMmmmm, chocolate pudding. Can't remember when I last had any. That must be remedied soon.
As Carlos would say, "It must have been something you ate."
ReplyDeleteBut he tells me that my dreams are crazy, like the one last night that featured the alien from 'Alien' as well as the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
WTF does that even mean!
xoxo
Well that's a bizarre dream. It would have been weirder if all your guests in the dream were made of chocolate pudding. Then I'd be concerned.
ReplyDeleteAs your therapist, I'd suggest you are feeling put upon, taken advantage of, and overwhelmed. The pudding was the frosting on the cake. Yum
ReplyDeleteInteresting nightmare. I have struggle dreams all the time.
ReplyDeleteThat sure was an interesting dream! I had one the other day about the orange menace, that I may post about in the next couple of weeks. I don't usually remember my dreams, but this one I did. Dreams can be so crazy!
ReplyDeleteOrange Man is a nightmare I wish I could wake up from, too!! You are certainly creative in your nightmares. I have had some crazy ones, too. If you can laugh at them afterwards...that is a relief. I hate the scary ones you can't laugh at once you are awake. (Like the one our country is going through right now, eh?)
ReplyDeleteThat was an overload dream, for sure.
ReplyDeleteBoxed chocolate pudding does NOT need a mixer and glass bowl. Even I know that. Might have been easier to just give him the $19 thousand. It was only a dream after all.
ReplyDeleteI am so with you, wishing we could wake from this nightmare!
ReplyDeleteYours was hilarious.
Did you perhaps have a spicy meal too close to bedtime? That makes me have weird dreams every time. That's such a detailed dream you had. And I know that panicky feeling, over a bad dream and over the current political situation careening out of control in the U.S. The second is definitely harder to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI can't help you with your orange nightmare but I can send you so e new, unopened green bandaids. Oldest found them in my first aid box that I made for "Youngest" sized injuries. (Becasue we all have that one kid...)
ReplyDeleteFrom Auntie Maureen: I have been having very weird, scary dreams the last week. I am glad you were able to laugh afterwards. We are all worrying about the orange demon.
ReplyDeleteI had a dream about chocolate pudding. But, when I woke up, I realized had poo...I've said too much.
ReplyDeleteNow that is the/my kind of dream that psychiatrists would love I'm sure!
ReplyDeleteBut you DID have $19,000 -- in dream money, anyway!
ReplyDelete