Dear Governor Andy Beshear of Kentucky.
I know you're frustrated with the Mitch McConnell situation. You haven't seen the senior senator from your state since the middle of June, but you have to learn to ignore all those silly rumors about his health. Yes, he's fallen once or twice but only because some damned democrat tripped him. At the moment he's recovering from eating a tainted jalapeño popper. And it's summer. Why shouldn't he take time off during the summer? Really, Andy, you expect too much.
Stop demanding proof that your esteemed senator is all right. I can tell you for a fact that he's fine. I talked to him on the phone this morning for 20 minutes –– not one minute more and not one minute less. We chatted about the times he froze in public. He explained to me that every time he froze he had finished a chocolate ice cream cone less than five minutes before. Now he knows he shouldn't have ice cream until he gets home at night and Elaine feeds it to him.
What's that, Andy? So many people say they've talked to the Great & Powerful One on the phone but you won't believe he's okay unless you talk to him yourself? Well, I can do better than that. Let me sign off and I'll send you photos of our beloved Senator McConnell. Pictures should convince you he's fine and dandy.
Lots of love to you and the whole state of Kentucky, Andy, from your old pal,
Janie Junebug
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| I was sure Miss Lindsey was keeping an eye on Senator McConnell from heaven and now I know it for a fact! |
All's well with the world!
ReplyDeleteEspecially if the rumors of Mitch McConnell's death are not exaggerated.
DeleteThis is hilarious, Janie! The whole situation is pitiful, and I don't understand why it is going on and on and on. I feel sorry for McConnell, even if I despise his politics.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe there's anyone to feel sorry for, in reality. Unless proof of life has turned up in the past 48 hours, Mitch is most likely brain dead, and I don't mean the same kind of brain dead he was when he wouldn't let former President Obama appoint Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court.
DeleteHe must be smelling even worse than usual. This is absurd. The photos are brilliant, although the idea of him as a sex doll would turn anyone’s stomach.
ReplyDeleteMitch has always been able to turn my stomach. Never needed to see him as a sex doll, though it does make him even worse.
DeleteSo many awesome memes!
ReplyDeleteI've seen a lot more, too. If I used them all my blog would be a mile long.
DeleteHAHAHA-Oh! You are wicked...that's why I love you! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteIt's my redeeming virtue.
DeleteOMG. Those are fantastic. I especially love Scooby Doo with "Shaggy" and "Velma."
ReplyDeleteI think that's cute, too.
DeleteNicely done. No question, we're living in the weirdest timeline.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we've ever before had a senator who was probably dead but no one would admit he was dead. However, it does bring to mind President Wilson being too sick to govern so his wife ran the country along with his closes advisers.
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