FRANKLIN FRIDAY FLASHBACK

Franklin wrote this post in 2015. I like to think of him snicker snorting over us reading it in 2026.

HI! Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi HIIHIHIHIHIIHIHIHIHIHIIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Hi, Every Buddy! It's me, Franklin the Bordernese, and I'm sure to please. I've had a problem come up with Mom. I need you all to help me out.

The first thing that happened is really cool. Willy Dunne Wooters taught me how to drive his red 'stang. I dunno what 'stang means, but I learned how to drive his car.

It's a little bit hard to see me in this first picture, but I'm at the round thingy I turn to make the car turn. It's not so hard to do.

Don't tell, but sometimes when I see a cat in the street I go a little faster. I would never hurt a cat, but sometimes I thinks about it.

Here's a picture where you can see me better in the car:

I'm pretty dang good lookin', isn't I?

But now I have to tell you about the problem. I was sitting in the car, figuring out all the knobs and dials, and I looked up and Mom had come outside. I thought she was there to admire my driving skills. I smiled at her, but she didn't come over to the car to hug and kiss me.

She walked right up to Willy Dunne Wooters and put her arms around him and started kissin' on him. She kissed his cheek and his neck and she even kissed his mouth, which was enough to make me think I might throw up my kibble.

AND Willy Dunne Wooters seemed to like it that Mom was kissin' on him. He didn't look like he was gonna throw up his kibble.

I think I have a romance on my paws.

Here's the big question: Should I have Mom fixed, or should I have Willy Dunne Wooters fixed, or should I have both of them fixed? I understand you might not wanna think about this very personal and intimate stuff, but I needs your help.

Okay I love you bye bye.

Franklin the Bordernese

ROYAL CHINWAG: WE GOTS A GEST

Here I am, Theeee Princess, Protector and Comandor.

Mommy still doesn't feel too good, but you must not be concerned because I am telling you not to be concerned. I am taking care of her. That is my job, and I always do my job.

I protect her, and I tell her what she needs to do. When I am tired, I say, Mommy, we must take a nap. 

And she puts her head down and goes sleepy-bye. She is very tired.

We do have a gest, though. I don't know this girl's name or where she came from. She doesn't talk about anything. 

She doesn't speak German or English. She doesn't speak in any language at all. I think she's too scared to talk.

We sniffed butts and touched noses. She's okay. Just doesn't talk.  

I'll show you a pitcher of her and me touching noses, but I won't show you very much of her because I don't like to invasion her privacy.

This girl spends almost all her time on the bed in Mommy's bedroom. She don't wanna read books with us or watch TV.

I love TV, especially when Mommy turns on BBC Select documentaries about World War II. I always shout, Haltet die verdammten Deutschen auf even though I already know who wins the war. I keep hoping if I yell loud enough I can make the war end sooner so not as many hoomans are killed.

But that girl don't want to watch BBC Select with us. She don't watch anything. She sniffs Mommy sometimes, but she don't want Mommy to touch her. 

Some day I think she will get bored and tired of being alone and she will want to play chase with me and if she don't know how to read she will let us read books to her and she will even watch a movie with us. 

This gest was the big news I wasn't ready to tell you about before. I might tell you more about her some day if she decides to stay with us and talk.

Now I am done with you and I am not going to answer questions about the gest. I don't know anything about her except her butt smells good.

Go home hoomans. I am tired. Go away.

GET OUT OF HERE!